Unexpected third pregnancy

[Anonymous]

OP states that she tricked her DH into getting her pregnant, but then says she wants an abortion.

Makes no sense. Do better next time troll.

[Anonymous]

Op sounds like you planned this pregnancy now hes mad your back stepping wanting to keep it. Why should the baby pay for your shenanigans?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is sick and abusive. If he was so against pregnancy, he should have got a vastectomy. This would be an instant divorce for me.

Apparently OP talked him out of it. Sounds like she baby trapped him.

Yeah, that was my thought, too. OP wants another baby, husband does not. Against husband getting a vasectomy, all while she's not using birth control, continues to have unprotected sex. OP knew exactly what she was doing.

+1
If a man did this to a woman it would be considered sexual assault.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is sick and abusive. If he was so against pregnancy, he should have got a vastectomy. This would be an instant divorce for me.

Apparently OP talked him out of it. Sounds like she baby trapped him.

Yeah, that was my thought, too. OP wants another baby, husband does not. Against husband getting a vasectomy, all while she's not using birth control, continues to have unprotected sex. OP knew exactly what she was doing.

+1
If a man did this to a woman it would be considered sexual assault.

OP cannot stop him from: 1. pulling out 2. using a condom 3. getting a vasectomy. You cannot ejaculate into a vagina and be surprised a pregnancy happened. Now if she lied about being on the pill that would be a different matter

[Anonymous]

On a different tack, a lot of married women with kids do in fact make the choice to end pregnancies for lots of reasons. And people do get pregnant on accident and still deserve compassion. There are a lot of people being hateful on this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1) This “The only moral abortion is my abortion” crap pisses me off so much. You’re considering it? Congratulations, you’re pro-choice. As a penance for sowing anti-choice bullsh*t for your whole life until <gasp> it actually impacted YOU, you now owe Planned Parenthood a $1000 donation AND you should spend some introspective time figuring out in what other ways you’re a judgmental hypocrite and cut it out. There are literally women dying because people like you liked the idea of being “pro-life” and didn’t have the imagination to realize what an unintended pregnancy might actually feel like.

2) Was your husband aware that you guys were not using birth control? If so, tell him to take his anger somewhere else. The most likely outcome of occasional, unprotected sex at age 41 is… pregnancy. Duh. He can go be angry out of the house, he doesn’t get to be angry at you.

3) I would recommend some counseling to explore your options. Planned Parenthood is actually great for this. Their counselors are committed to helping you figure out what’s best FOR YOU and do not push an agenda. Give a call, talk to someone, explore your feelings and what they might mean.

4) As far as “has anyone been through this?” - YES. Not me personally, but I’m also early 40s and know three couples around my age who found themselves pregnant with a surprise third in the last year or two. All ended differently (one miscarriage, one baby, one abortion) and while it was tough on everyone, they’ve all come through it together and are doing well now. You can find a path that works for you - it’s okay that your emotions are a bit all over the place and you don’t have answers now. Give yourself some time.

Agree with all of this.
FA&FO

[Anonymous]

I don’t know how to help you reach a decision, but I’m due with number 3 shortly and my two older kids recently turned 3 and 6 - I personally really like this spacing. Good luck in whatever you choose. It might be worth talking to a therapist about how to process this decision.

[Anonymous]

Why is your husband upset?
Yikessssss

[Anonymous]

Your husband is not allowed to rage. He did this to himself by not taking responsible measures.

Also... I had miscarriages at your age. Three. We were trying to get pregnant. So this dilemma might be solved for you, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Your husband is not allowed to rage. He did this to himself by not taking responsible measures.

Also... I had miscarriages at your age. Three. We were trying to get pregnant. So this dilemma might be solved for you, OP.

Me again. My oldest was 18 when I had my most recent miscarriage!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Id be keeping my baby!!!!!

+1 this is such a weird post and is actually indicative of the abortion debate because most people still think it’s done under “rare” circumstances. A wealthy married couple doesn’t use birth control, has regular sex, gets pregnant. It’s insane to me any “options” are even on the table.

Can’t believe they’re thinking of abortion over affording private school 😒

[Anonymous]

I can't relate to anyone being offended at the idea of abortion in such circumstances. It's not a life until it's viable out of the womb. OP would abort well before that. I just don't get people who get all "OMG it's MURDER!" about a first trimester abortion.

[Anonymous]

How can it be unexpected if you weren't using birth control?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I found out I was pregnant with our third baby this weekend. We are both 41. My husband is raging mad and immediately was pushing for termination.

Truthfully I’ve wanted a third and we did not use birth control but with two young kids we did not sleep together much so chances were low. I was however coming to terms with only having two kids and had begun to purge baby items etc. Our kids would be about 6 and 3 when the third baby would be born.

I’ve always been pro life but can see the benefit now faced with this of termination. I feel awful admitting that. My husband is adamant the finances are not there with private tuition, needing a larger home and car. We have outgrown our current home but with high interest rates we have not moved yet. We both do well, but with saving for the future with colleges and private tuition and all the things that come with an additional child he is so angry at me and I know it would be nine months of misery. Anyone have a similar experience? He keeps saying he should have gone through with the vasectomy against my desires.
I’ve had one ectopic between kids so I have an appt today to see if that is the case and I can’t help but hope it is so I don’t have to make a decision myself.

If he didn't want more children why didn't he get a vasectomy?! I would tell him to shut up and you are married to a world class @$$hole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I found out I was pregnant with our third baby this weekend. We are both 41. My husband is raging mad and immediately was pushing for termination.

Truthfully I’ve wanted a third and we did not use birth control but with two young kids we did not sleep together much so chances were low. I was however coming to terms with only having two kids and had begun to purge baby items etc. Our kids would be about 6 and 3 when the third baby would be born.

I’ve always been pro life but can see the benefit now faced with this of termination. I feel awful admitting that. My husband is adamant the finances are not there with private tuition, needing a larger home and car. We have outgrown our current home but with high interest rates we have not moved yet. We both do well, but with saving for the future with colleges and private tuition and all the things that come with an additional child he is so angry at me and I know it would be nine months of misery. Anyone have a similar experience? He keeps saying he should have gone through with the vasectomy against my desires.
I’ve had one ectopic between kids so I have an appt today to see if that is the case and I can’t help but hope it is so I don’t have to make a decision myself.

You had unprotected sex and you didn't want your husband to get a vasectomy! Bull to this being an unexpected pregnancy. You planned this. For the record you and your DH are both jacka$$es.