Unexpected third pregnancy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On a different tack, a lot of married women with kids do in fact make the choice to end pregnancies for lots of reasons. And people do get pregnant on accident and still deserve compassion. There are a lot of people being hateful on this thread.

Thank you! I am one of those who had a true surprise pregnancy, post-vasectomy. DH's post-vasectomy check showed zero sperm, so we were very surprised when just under a year after the procedure, I became pregnant. Yes, we knew there was a MINISCULE chance of that happening, but the odds were extraordinarily low. I appreciate you saying that those of us in similar situations do deserve compassion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this a troll? Because this is exactly what all the pro-choice folks think of the pro-life group = it's a complete farce. You don't believe in being pro life at all if something as trivial as "private school tuition" is now causing you to rethink whether you should actually keep this pregnancy or not. So basically you are saying "I think poor people, teenagers, rape victims and basically everyone else for whom a pregnancy would completely wreck their lives should go through with an unwanted pregnancy, but if a third child would slightly inconvenience my current life situation (God forbit the kids have to share a bedroom, gasp!), I'm thinking of abortion." Unbelievable.

Yep. Hypocrite. Hypocrite hypocrite hypocrite.

[Anonymous]

I had a 6 year old and an almost 3 year old when I accidentally got pregnant. I was freaked out at first. I too lived in a too-small house. I still live in my too small house and now my oldest is in high school, and the other two are in middle and elementary. Everything worked out. You really don’t need private school and you really don’t need to move to a bigger house right away, but if those things are that important to you, I’m sure you’ll find a way to make them happen. One thing at a time. It’ll work out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is sick and abusive. If he was so against pregnancy, he should have got a vastectomy. This would be an instant divorce for me.

Apparently OP talked him out of it. Sounds like she baby trapped him.

Yeah, that was my thought, too. OP wants another baby, husband does not. Against husband getting a vasectomy, all while she's not using birth control, continues to have unprotected sex. OP knew exactly what she was doing.

+1 OP planned this. Obviously.

The husband did not consent.

Well he consented to sex and he didn't use back up BC. So he's just as responsible. Presumably, after two kids, he knows how babies happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this a troll? Because this is exactly what all the pro-choice folks think of the pro-life group = it's a complete farce. You don't believe in being pro life at all if something as trivial as "private school tuition" is now causing you to rethink whether you should actually keep this pregnancy or not. So basically you are saying "I think poor people, teenagers, rape victims and basically everyone else for whom a pregnancy would completely wreck their lives should go through with an unwanted pregnancy, but if a third child would slightly inconvenience my current life situation (God forbit the kids have to share a bedroom, gasp!), I'm thinking of abortion." Unbelievable.

It’s an unfortunate combination of total lack of empathy and enjoyment of judging others. Ughhhh.

[Anonymous]

I got pregnant at 41 after going through IVF to have my 2 kids. I was told I had a 2% chance of getting pregnant naturally. DH was actually scheduled to get a vasectomy the following week. We didn’t want a third and so we made the decision to terminate and I had an abortion at Planned Parenthood. It was the right decision for us. I’ve always been and will always be pro-choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a 6 year old and an almost 3 year old when I accidentally got pregnant. I was freaked out at first. I too lived in a too-small house. I still live in my too small house and now my oldest is in high school, and the other two are in middle and elementary. Everything worked out. You really don’t need private school and you really don’t need to move to a bigger house right away, but if those things are that important to you, I’m sure you’ll find a way to make them happen. One thing at a time. It’ll work out.

There is no such thing as an accidental pregnancy; anytime you have sexual intercourse there is a possibility of pregnancy. Birth control can fail and vasectomies can fail. There are only two ways to not get pregnant (1) abstain and (2) female has a hysterectomy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1) This “The only moral abortion is my abortion” crap pisses me off so much. You’re considering it? Congratulations, you’re pro-choice. As a penance for sowing anti-choice bullsh*t for your whole life until <gasp> it actually impacted YOU, you now owe Planned Parenthood a $1000 donation AND you should spend some introspective time figuring out in what other ways you’re a judgmental hypocrite and cut it out. There are literally women dying because people like you liked the idea of being “pro-life” and didn’t have the imagination to realize what an unintended pregnancy might actually feel like.

2) Was your husband aware that you guys were not using birth control? If so, tell him to take his anger somewhere else. The most likely outcome of occasional, unprotected sex at age 41 is… pregnancy. Duh. He can go be angry out of the house, he doesn’t get to be angry at you.

3) I would recommend some counseling to explore your options. Planned Parenthood is actually great for this. Their counselors are committed to helping you figure out what’s best FOR YOU and do not push an agenda. Give a call, talk to someone, explore your feelings and what they might mean.

4) As far as “has anyone been through this?” - YES. Not me personally, but I’m also early 40s and know three couples around my age who found themselves pregnant with a surprise third in the last year or two. All ended differently (one miscarriage, one baby, one abortion) and while it was tough on everyone, they’ve all come through it together and are doing well now. You can find a path that works for you - it’s okay that your emotions are a bit all over the place and you don’t have answers now. Give yourself some time.

ALL OF THIS.

[Anonymous]

OP - what happened? Hugs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this a troll? Because this is exactly what all the pro-choice folks think of the pro-life group = it's a complete farce. You don't believe in being pro life at all if something as trivial as "private school tuition" is now causing you to rethink whether you should actually keep this pregnancy or not. So basically you are saying "I think poor people, teenagers, rape victims and basically everyone else for whom a pregnancy would completely wreck their lives should go through with an unwanted pregnancy, but if a third child would slightly inconvenience my current life situation (God forbit the kids have to share a bedroom, gasp!), I'm thinking of abortion." Unbelievable.

Hi OP!

Please ignore the PP’s cruelty and senseless rage.

Anywho, question for you OP: are you a man or a woman?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your husband did not want a third kid he should have gotten snipped or used condoms always. This is on him. It's your decision. A

This!!!!! He does have some very good points though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a 6 year old and an almost 3 year old when I accidentally got pregnant. I was freaked out at first. I too lived in a too-small house. I still live in my too small house and now my oldest is in high school, and the other two are in middle and elementary. Everything worked out. You really don’t need private school and you really don’t need to move to a bigger house right away, but if those things are that important to you, I’m sure you’ll find a way to make them happen. One thing at a time. It’ll work out.

There is no such thing as an accidental pregnancy; anytime you have sexual intercourse there is a possibility of pregnancy. Birth control can fail and vasectomies can fail. There are only two ways to not get pregnant (1) abstain and (2) female has a hysterectomy.

FEMALE gets a hysterectomy?
How about the MALE gets castrated, I wager that will work

[Anonymous]

Everyone these days thinks a pregnancy in their early 40s is cute "don't give up on your dreams ladies/it's possible!!"

The pregnancy/childbirth is the easy part. Having a toddlers into your middle/late 40s is brutal.

[Anonymous]

Disagree.
If you weren't on birth control and you still menstruate, you were expecting it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone these days thinks a pregnancy in their early 40s is cute "don't give up on your dreams ladies/it's possible!!"

The pregnancy/childbirth is the easy part. Having a toddlers into your middle/late 40s is brutal.

I have a 17 month old and I'm 44. I don't think it's brutal at all. Would I recommend someone go out of their way to have kids in their mid-40s? No, but if that's your journey, it can be an enjoyable experience.