What do you think of women dripping in designer items?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP,

You're so mentally disturbed that you believe she's doing it to get you? Just like that guy who cut you off - he was insulting you, personally. And the person who bumped you while getting out of the metro. They're all out to get you. And when your relatives start to whisper at the table, they're all talking about you. Not in a nice way.

You see where I'm going with this. Therapist and meds for you, stat.

NP. This seems extreme. People absolutely do things like this to “have a go” at other people. I don’t have the budget for the jewelry OP mentioned but when I got down to a size 2 after kids, I certainly felt proud of it. I worked hard to regain my figure and I didn’t mind flaunting it a bit. In retrospect I’m not proud and wish my intentions were better. I wish I were more evolved and secure but it is what it is. I’m sure I’ll get flamed for this bit of introspection and honesty.

[Anonymous]

OP, why do you think someone dripping in designer crap is "better than" you? You noted that is it wasteful consumerism, so how is that "better"?

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry you are jealous, OP. Maybe if your husband worked harder, you too could afford "designer" jewlery and clothing.

Using quotes because nothing off the counters at Cartier and Tiffany is considered "designer" to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My cousin arrived to Thanksgiving this year fully decked out in designer items that are very recognizable — two Cartier line bracelets, Van-Cleef earrings, a Fergamo belt, a Goyard tote bag, Tiffany necklace. I could go on. And most of these items are new from the last time I saw her (where she was decked out in other jewelry and accessories). This is how she got off the plane. I know she and her husband make more than I do but they also have two kids in private school and she had lost her job not too long ago. It just seems so unnecessary and irresponsible.

Yes, I shouldn’t judge. But it seriously makes me feel like she’s trying to visually show that she’s better than me and my family because I don’t have anything like this stuff. Am I jealous? Yea, a little, so that’s probably driving this but at the same time I can’t imagine going out wearing that much money.

So what do you think if you see a woman with this much designer stuff on?

This whole issue is 150% you.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP,

You're so mentally disturbed that you believe she's doing it to get you? Just like that guy who cut you off - he was insulting you, personally. And the person who bumped you while getting out of the metro. They're all out to get you. And when your relatives start to whisper at the table, they're all talking about you. Not in a nice way.

You see where I'm going with this. Therapist and meds for you, stat.

Agree. I hope OP does not harm her SIL. I would be concerend if I were her. Hopefully they are not staying under the same roof.

[Anonymous]

I can’t help but picture OP, her SIL and almost everyone responding as thirsty strivers.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t even recognize the items the OP mentioned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She lost her job.
She's trying to make herself feel better.
She likely bought most of these items before she lost her job. If you see her once a year, you wouldn't know, would you?

Why do you bring everything back to yourself?
Try not to be so insecure.
She's trying to do the best she can.
Do the best YOU can.

Also, you can never know the financial situation of others, OP. For example, outwardly, we look poor. We actually have 10M in a stock portfolio. Don't make assumptions, particularly the one where you think it's all about you. It NEVER is.

It is fine to value other things but looking poor doesn't seem wise if you are worth $10m. I recommend reading Die with Zero. I disagreed with some of it but I'm definitely trying to experience more in my 30s and 40s and I give money while I'm alive. Charities and people can usually use the help more now.

[Anonymous]

I don't think anything of it unless it's truly ugly and then I wonder why they spent so much money on it (see the picture someone inserted on this post). I'm sure someone judges what we spend our money on.

[Anonymous]

Honestly I don’t think twice about this. I’m not jealous of anything but people who have better horses. I just don’t care about clothes or jewelry or cars. But I am super jealous of horse stuff. So, maybe this is just your particular trigger.

Oh I guess I also get jealous of home decorating and to a lesser extent, real estate.

But yeah, not jewelry or any fashion designer athff. It doesn’t poke me that way.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know these product lines well enough to recognize the signifiers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My cousin arrived to Thanksgiving this year fully decked out in designer items that are very recognizable — two Cartier line bracelets, Van-Cleef earrings, a Fergamo belt, a Goyard tote bag, Tiffany necklace. I could go on. And most of these items are new from the last time I saw her (where she was decked out in other jewelry and accessories). This is how she got off the plane. I know she and her husband make more than I do but they also have two kids in private school and she had lost her job not too long ago. It just seems so unnecessary and irresponsible.

Yes, I shouldn’t judge. But it seriously makes me feel like she’s trying to visually show that she’s better than me and my family because I don’t have anything like this stuff. Am I jealous? Yea, a little, so that’s probably driving this but at the same time I can’t imagine going out wearing that much money.

So what do you think if you see a woman with this much designer stuff on?

I'd think she's trying to overcompensate for losing her job and SHE'S jealous of YOU and not the other way around.

[Anonymous]

She doesn't really sound like she's "dripping in designer items" from your description. Women who own the Cartier love bracelets usually have them on all the time, because they're locked on with a screw. Van Cleef earrings and Tiffany necklaces can be pretty discreet, as are Ferragamo belts. Goyard tote bags are honestly workhorse bags. I have one and use it all the time. I would describe myself as a pretty low-key person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Insecure. Needs to wear designer items to feel like they fit in.

I wear designer stuff and I can guarantee you none of my friends know what 95% of is. Not insecure. I like nice things and can afford them.

Same here. The labels are so discreet that unless you really know it, you would have no idea. Seems like OP is seeking this out, like identifying the brand of jewelry the person is wearing. There aren't any labels at all on that stuff is there?

[Anonymous]

Man here and it reminds me of mens watches. Only if you know your watches can you spot the difference between a $1k and $50k watch.

I was at a meeting the other day and a guy was waering a $200k Richard Mille skeleton watch. Unless you really know watches, it's just a "nice looking watch".