Husband said he wants a divorce and has been locked up in the guest room

[Anonymous]

No, don't ask. Just tell him to move out, offer 50-50 on everything and part ways. Wish him the best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You all are so lucky that you can expect child support when you consider divorce. I’d have to pay my awful husband so much money if I were to get divorced. I know, it’s sad when a dream gets shattered, but at least they’ll pay you money and it’s not all on you.

If you make more money, yes you pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d leave and stay at a friends for a week.

I’d consult a lawyer.

Please don’t. My concern is that if you have kids, it looks bad if you leave the family home. If you don’t have kids, I’d encourage you to stay in your home or it looks like one of two things : you are fleeing abuse, or you are at fault.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You all are so lucky that you can expect child support when you consider divorce. I’d have to pay my awful husband so much money if I were to get divorced. I know, it’s sad when a dream gets shattered, but at least they’ll pay you money and it’s not all on you.

Does Op even have a kid? Unclear.

[Anonymous]

Let dude stay in the guest room and be uncomfortable- it’s your house too and you’ve done nothing wrong.
I’m sorry you are going through this. I was blindsided like this. But he holed up in the basement instead of guest room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You all are so lucky that you can expect child support when you consider divorce. I’d have to pay my awful husband so much money if I were to get divorced. I know, it’s sad when a dream gets shattered, but at least they’ll pay you money and it’s not all on you.

If you make more money, yes you pay.[/quote


As I said, lucky their DH‘s have decent jobs and incomes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should say “ok, great. Should we get a mediator to work through how to split things up?”

+1 that is what I did. (I am the one who divorced an attorney)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You all are so lucky that you can expect child support when you consider divorce. I’d have to pay my awful husband so much money if I were to get divorced. I know, it’s sad when a dream gets shattered, but at least they’ll pay you money and it’s not all on you.

I agree. I am divorced. I don’t get child support. Near equal earners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know your DH. Is he the type to get moody/angry enough to pull something like this and odds are he doesn't mean it and your relationship is otherwise ok?

I mean, if my DH did this, I'd already have an appt with an aggressive family law attorney set up.

OP here. He does this whenever we are in a big argument.

You never had an argument with him before marrying?

[Anonymous]

Do you want to divorce him?

[Anonymous]

Just be ready and do the consults. The. Go back to how it is but know the marriage is damaged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know your DH. Is he the type to get moody/angry enough to pull something like this and odds are he doesn't mean it and your relationship is otherwise ok?

I mean, if my DH did this, I'd already have an appt with an aggressive family law attorney set up.

OP here. He does this whenever we are in a big argument.

You never had an argument with him before marrying?

I'm sure they did and she ignored it. Just like she's ignored it every time he's done it before. Or she's a troll. So uninteresting.

[Anonymous]

If he does it after every argument then both of you know he doesn't mean it. Its just like a frustrated teen saying I hate you or doesn't want to live here without meaning it. You two need to work on your marriage and your communication skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he does it after every argument then both of you know he doesn't mean it. Its just like a frustrated teen saying I hate you or doesn't want to live here without meaning it. You two need to work on your marriage and your communication skills.

I would just ignore him entirely for anything. No amount of joint therapy will help a grown ass adult male learn to talk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised by all the strong responses. My wife directly or indirectly tells me this all the time -- I guess the next step is clearer than I think.

Constantly threatening divorce is considered a tactic of emotional and verbal abuse. I had to do some research online recently and found this out. Google it; you'll find that threatening divorce repeatedly is not normal in any remotely healthy marriage. You may have become inured to these threats and don't even view them as threats. That doesn't make them normal or OK.