Husband said he wants a divorce and has been locked up in the guest room

[Anonymous]

On Sunday he yelled at me saying "this isn't working" and has since been hiding out in the guest room. He locks the door and when he is in the kitchen he ignores me and avoids eye contact. He also walks around with a scowl on his face.

I am getting worried. Should I consult an attorney?

[Anonymous]

Yes I would consult an attorney. If he's serious then you need to be ready. And if he's not serious but willing to threaten divorce and cold shoulder you for days in order to win some kind of point, then you should get out of that relationship because it sounds nuts.

[Anonymous]

Yes, start getting your ducks in a row.

[Anonymous]

Yes of course. Why is this a question?

[Anonymous]

Did this come out of nowhere as a total surprise?

If so, I would be concerned about a crisis of guilt (affair probably, that he has been trying to hide but can't anymore) which...yeah...granted, dude. Or a crisis of mental health (because it's not normal to say this out of nowhere or in a normal fight and shut down without dialogue or explanation), which you'd need to probably rope in family or others close to him to handle.

Do you have kids? In the house?

[Anonymous]

Unless he's done this a ton of other times, yes, be worried. Yes, consult a lawyer.

[Anonymous]

You know your DH. Is he the type to get moody/angry enough to pull something like this and odds are he doesn't mean it and your relationship is otherwise ok?

I mean, if my DH did this, I'd already have an appt with an aggressive family law attorney set up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know your DH. Is he the type to get moody/angry enough to pull something like this and odds are he doesn't mean it and your relationship is otherwise ok?

I mean, if my DH did this, I'd already have an appt with an aggressive family law attorney set up.

OP here. He does this whenever we are in a big argument.

[Anonymous]

I’d leave and stay at a friends for a week.

I’d consult a lawyer.

[Anonymous]

I would have a conversation with him and ask if he truly wants a divorce. If so, I would say, okay, let's start a separation, see a mediator, agree to 50/50 of assets and custody and be done with it. Litigating with attorneys makes divorce so much worse and gives them money you as a couple would be keeping.

Signed,

Divorced an attorney (we had a mediator draft the agreement; I gave in on some things and took less than 50-50 and hired an attorney to file it. This is how the divorce is "amicable"). Cheap divorce and better in the long run.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know your DH. Is he the type to get moody/angry enough to pull something like this and odds are he doesn't mean it and your relationship is otherwise ok?

I mean, if my DH did this, I'd already have an appt with an aggressive family law attorney set up.

OP here. He does this whenever we are in a big argument.

In that case I’d get ducks in a row and have a consult with an attorney, but I wouldn’t do the heavy lifting. If he really wants a divorce, he can do the work involved.

[Anonymous]

What was the argument about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know your DH. Is he the type to get moody/angry enough to pull something like this and odds are he doesn't mean it and your relationship is otherwise ok?

I mean, if my DH did this, I'd already have an appt with an aggressive family law attorney set up.

OP here. He does this whenever we are in a big argument.

Then why the “should I be worried?” comment, as if you have no agency?

[Anonymous]

He obviously has a new woman.

[Anonymous]

If he does this every time you have an argument then I'm not really sure why you're asking. You know if this blows over or not (which I guess it does if it keeps happening). It's your decision if you keep wanting to live like this.