Update on mentally ill suitemate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am glad this situation is resolved and your child is safe; but I find your attitude and seeming glee over what you did to be really gross. You think you’re some gumshoe detective and you got someone from another country sent away.

+1

Weird that OP felt the need to post an "update" about this. Creepy.

[Anonymous]

In Virginia the first time would be considered indecent exposure which is a misdemeanor punishable by up to 1 year in jail.

BUT repeated offenses (which this guy did at least twice it seems) can be upgraded to a felony punishable up to 10 years in jail and is considered a sex crime and would require registration with the sex offender registry.

I definitely hope this person gets help, especially to help prevent future victims. But glossing over this (his poor mental health, no arrest, etc) versus that he has repeatedly forced people to watch him masterbate is disturbing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am glad this situation is resolved and your child is safe; but I find your attitude and seeming glee over what you did to be really gross. You think you’re some gumshoe detective and you got someone from another country sent away.

NP. No, not "glee." OP is updating because a lot of us who read that thread were concerned that the student's clearly disturbed behavior was brushed off by campus police. It is fitting that OP let us know what kinds of action on her part got action from the college -- finally. Because parents here might need to take similar action if their college student kids ever encounter a similar situation. It is not "helicoptering" to take action when a student is performing a sex act in public areas on campus. Most 18-year-old freshmen are going to have no idea what to do with that kind of situation--and it's a situation that can escalate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t wait until civil rights catch up for those with mental illness.

The fact that so many Americans criminalize such behavior is shocking. Take precautions for your safety and their treatment, yes, but really stop the harassment of the mentally ill.

He committed a sex crime (sexual assault). You want to decriminalize sexual assault?! WTF?

Not PP, but indecent exposure is not a sexual assault in most jurisdictions.

Public nudity and public masterbation aren’t sexual assault in “most” jurisdictions? You know the laws of all the jurisdictions?

Just stop. You are failing society going down this sick hole.

They aren't. And honestly, your attempt to equate public nudity with sexual assault is sick.

No it’s not. I’m a SA survivor and a former r@pe counselor. Being an apologist for a person forcing people to watch his sexually gratify himself is terrifying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In Virginia the first time would be considered indecent exposure which is a misdemeanor punishable by up to 1 year in jail.

BUT repeated offenses (which this guy did at least twice it seems) can be upgraded to a felony punishable up to 10 years in jail and is considered a sex crime and would require registration with the sex offender registry.

I definitely hope this person gets help, especially to help prevent future victims. But glossing over this (his poor mental health, no arrest, etc) versus that he has repeatedly forced people to watch him masterbate is disturbing.

For the record, I have posted that it is wrong to equate indecent exposure to sexual assault, and certainly to assert that it is a sexual assault as a matter of law.

However, something can still be wrong, even criminal, without being sexual assault. And I hope this situation resolves in a way that takes into account the offense, and any mitigating factors, and is oriented toward the best outcome for everybody.

[Anonymous]

1 in 3 female students are sexually assaulted in college.

That doesn’t include some guy exposing himself.

And it def doesn’t include living w a guy who masturbates in public.

Glad it’s worked out, hope this guy gets help, this is not sexual assault and your son was in no way harmed by any action.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t wait until civil rights catch up for those with mental illness.

The fact that so many Americans criminalize such behavior is shocking. Take precautions for your safety and their treatment, yes, but really stop the harassment of the mentally ill.

He committed a sex crime (sexual assault). You want to decriminalize sexual assault?! WTF?

Not PP, but indecent exposure is not a sexual assault in most jurisdictions.

Public nudity and public masterbation aren’t sexual assault in “most” jurisdictions? You know the laws of all the jurisdictions?

Just stop. You are failing society going down this sick hole.

They aren't. And honestly, your attempt to equate public nudity with sexual assault is sick.

No it’s not. I’m a SA survivor and a former r@pe counselor. Being an apologist for a person forcing people to watch his sexually gratify himself is terrifying.

PP here. Also a SA survivor. And I find it demeaning to my experience to equate it with public nudity.
And that is NOT the same thing as being "an apologist" for the behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In Virginia the first time would be considered indecent exposure which is a misdemeanor punishable by up to 1 year in jail.

BUT repeated offenses (which this guy did at least twice it seems) can be upgraded to a felony punishable up to 10 years in jail and is considered a sex crime and would require registration with the sex offender registry.

I definitely hope this person gets help, especially to help prevent future victims. But glossing over this (his poor mental health, no arrest, etc) versus that he has repeatedly forced people to watch him masterbate is disturbing.

For the record, I have posted that it is wrong to equate indecent exposure to sexual assault, and certainly to assert that it is a sexual assault as a matter of law.

However, something can still be wrong, even criminal, without being sexual assault. And I hope this situation resolves in a way that takes into account the offense, and any mitigating factors, and is oriented toward the best outcome for everybody.

You need to do some volunteer work with victims of sexual crimes and I sincerely hope you and your loved ones never have first hand experience. Your posts have been so rude and dismissive. Unreal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thought I’d post an update about the sex offender in my son’s suite. Officials came and moved him out yesterday. I contacted the crime reporter for the local paper, and she started making some calls. That and me posting on the parents’ facebook page seems to have done the trick. Being a gadfly and protesting en masse can get things done. Hopefully the kid can go home and receive the treatment he so desperately needs.

Why do you assume that any of this happened BECAUSE of your actions? Narcissist.

Actually it seems quite likely the poster's actions moved the needle. How would you know whether someone you have never met is a narcissist? Amateur psychiatrist. I be you are a real treat to hang around.

[Anonymous]

I'm glad the student has been removed but the fact the OP called the press makes my heart sink. What an awful thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In Virginia the first time would be considered indecent exposure which is a misdemeanor punishable by up to 1 year in jail.

BUT repeated offenses (which this guy did at least twice it seems) can be upgraded to a felony punishable up to 10 years in jail and is considered a sex crime and would require registration with the sex offender registry.

I definitely hope this person gets help, especially to help prevent future victims. But glossing over this (his poor mental health, no arrest, etc) versus that he has repeatedly forced people to watch him masterbate is disturbing.

For the record, I have posted that it is wrong to equate indecent exposure to sexual assault, and certainly to assert that it is a sexual assault as a matter of law.

However, something can still be wrong, even criminal, without being sexual assault. And I hope this situation resolves in a way that takes into account the offense, and any mitigating factors, and is oriented toward the best outcome for everybody.

You need to do some volunteer work with victims of sexual crimes and I sincerely hope you and your loved ones never have first hand experience. Your posts have been so rude and dismissive. Unreal.

NP. You are really off base here. PP wasn't rude or dismissive at all. You were.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t wait until civil rights catch up for those with mental illness.

The fact that so many Americans criminalize such behavior is shocking. Take precautions for your safety and their treatment, yes, but really stop the harassment of the mentally ill.

He committed a sex crime (sexual assault). You want to decriminalize sexual assault?! WTF?

Not PP, but indecent exposure is not a sexual assault in most jurisdictions.

Public nudity and public masterbation aren’t sexual assault in “most” jurisdictions? You know the laws of all the jurisdictions?

Just stop. You are failing society going down this sick hole.

They aren't. And honestly, your attempt to equate public nudity with sexual assault is sick.

No it’s not. I’m a SA survivor and a former r@pe counselor. Being an apologist for a person forcing people to watch his sexually gratify himself is terrifying.

Thank you for speaking up. Public exposure like this is a very very common precursor to sexual assault. It should not be minimized.

And this kid clearly needs mental health supports that he was not getting. Given that he doesn’t speak English, it’s not totally clear that the college could adequately provide him with it. Can you imagine if your child was studying abroad and had a schizophrenic break and no one told you about it because they didn’t want to stigmatize mental illlness? That’s a horrifying concept. Ignoring the issue does not do anyone any favors, including the boy in question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t wait until civil rights catch up for those with mental illness.

The fact that so many Americans criminalize such behavior is shocking. Take precautions for your safety and their treatment, yes, but really stop the harassment of the mentally ill.

When your college student is required to live with someone like that, it becomes your concern. it's not harassment to want your own kid to be safe, considering you are paying $16-18k+ for room and board. Sometimes the remaining "safety concerns for your safety" is ensuring they are no longer in the dorms. For your student and 100s of other student's safety as well

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t wait until civil rights catch up for those with mental illness.

The fact that so many Americans criminalize such behavior is shocking. Take precautions for your safety and their treatment, yes, but really stop the harassment of the mentally ill.

He committed a sex crime (sexual assault). You want to decriminalize sexual assault?! WTF?

Not PP, but indecent exposure is not a sexual assault in most jurisdictions.

Doesn't matter. Try it at work and you will get fired (as you should) Similarly a student should be kicked out of the university for that, or at a minimum out of living in the dorms (but IMO out of the university). If you need mental health help, get it. But it's not your right to get the help while still living on campus and potentially endangering so many other students.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm glad the student has been removed but the fact the OP called the press makes my heart sink. What an awful thing to do.

If a college does not want that to happen, then they should respond accordingly in a timely manner the FIRST time. Not brush it under the rug, waiting for it to turn to something much worse.