DD refusing to go to homecoming

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are the WORST kind of mom.

This makes no sense to me. What in the original post indicates a terrible mother? Maybe a bit pushy and overbearing, but geez, lighten up.

Trying to force a teenager who had a falling out with a group of friends to attend homecoming WHERE THEY WILL ALL BE and she will have to see them and face them is seriously out of a bad teen movie it's so atrociously clueless. So much so I think this post is a troll.

[Anonymous]

The only worse thing you could do would be to ask her cousin to escort her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only worse thing you could do would be to ask her cousin to escort her.

Wtf

[Anonymous]

Get out of her social life, mom. All you’re doing is making her feel like crap.

[Anonymous]

HC isn’t a big deal. Not like it used to be. Leave the kid alone.

[Anonymous]

It's her life OP, missing homecoming (or going to homecoming) means absolutely nothing in the long run.

Except...I'm still occasionally pissed off when I think of my mom making me go to homecoming.

[Anonymous]

I think this lond of thing is worth one stab to say something like “screw them—-why don’t you check with the kids from debate club and maybe you could join them? I bet that would be more fun anyway. You don’t need Larla and her crew to have fun.”
But then I think you gotta leave it. It’s more damaging to remember that your mom felt like you were a loser because you didn’t have anyone to go to homecoming with, than it is not to go to homecoming. Ask if she wants to do a movie marathon or go to a show with you downtown.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not let her have her journey?
If you think she might change her mind, make sure she has a dress and tickets.

If she is not going to the dance - how about doing something else fun instead? Go get nails done at a place late in the day when the classmates are gone.
Go to a movie she wants to see - or stream something at home.

This is a nice idea, thanks. The reason I'm so eager for her to go is because she really enjoyed the last two, and I know this thing with her friends isn't going to last. I just don't want her to not go and regret it.

It's OKAY if she regrets it. Parents need to stop trying to prevent any negative feelings their kids may have - this is why these kids have anxiety and zero resilience. She's old enough to make this type of decision on her own, and old enough to deal with the consequences of it.

Absolutely this!!

[Anonymous]

Wow, I feel so sorry for you, the supposed adult. No, Homecoming is NOT important. What’s wrong with you?!?

[Anonymous]

I agree with the idea to offer to do something fun with her instead.

do not push her to go. Her choice. And it is awesome that she’s comfortable enough to decide she doesn’t want to be there. Much preferable to someone to goes anyway to be cool or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Prom > Homecoming

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Leave the poor girl alone. HC is not an iconic experience.

Please. Iconic?

[Anonymous]

Things are so different for kids these days. They don't care as much about HC or prom or very rigid types of social events as the previous generation. So many just skip all of them and hang out instead, yes, even for prom. I think it's because all the travel sports, extracurricular activities they need to do for college apps and academic pressure cooker environments lead to apathy about old-timey school traditions. They only have so much bandwidth.

All that is to say, just back off. If kids don't want to go to social events and don't feel an ounce of guilt about saying nope to all of it, then let it be.

[Anonymous]

My college kid completely ignored his homecoming and prom events. My high schooler is entirely uninterested in homecoming, and so are her friends.

This isn't the big deal you think it is. Actually, I'm embarrassed for you that you'd write Homecoming is a classic, important experience! Cringe. Makes you look completely empty-headed and focused on socializing instead of academics.

[Anonymous]

God let her stay home