Do you ask your kids before hugging them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is crazy. Stupid trend.

Well we'll see what the rates of date rape look like in 20 years.

Lol. Please do explain the logic behind this statement. I would love to hear your thought process.

+1. In these families are spouses asking to hug each other, too? Does your child ask to hug you before hugging?

People get to decide when and how they're touched. Your poor kids.

It just doesn't have to be that deep though

[Anonymous]

Yes. I ask. Because they need to know that they do not have to experience physical touch if they dont want to. They are girls. In preschool and K we have already trying to kiss or hug them when they didn't want it.
Its not complicated: "would you like a hug?" And done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course not, but I stop if they tell me not to stop.

This. I know my kid well enough to know if they are okay with a hug in that situation.

[Anonymous]

No. You should be able to tell if they don’t want to be hugged. If you get it wrong it becomes obvious if they stiffen up and then you move away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. You should be able to tell if they don’t want to be hugged. If you get it wrong it becomes obvious if they stiffen up and then you move away.

Sure. But there are relatives who refuse to follow the kids cues and demand hugs. So its just easier for the kids to know they will be asked and can say no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This seems to be a new parenting trend but I don’t know if it is actually the best thing- I don’t know if I want my kids to have ask before they hug me- that seems a little cold. And I also want them to get lots of hugs from me. Thoughts?

You can't be serious.

No I don't and never will. If they can't handle a hug from their mother, there are serious problems in the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are a no physical touch without verbal consent family. I have both girls and boys so I want it to be modeled and for them them feel comfortable saying no. My kids as young as 18 months know to say yes or no. We have 6 kids ages 18 months to 17.

You are weird AF

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is crazy. Stupid trend.

Well we'll see what the rates of date rape look like in 20 years.

Lol. Please do explain the logic behind this statement. I would love to hear your thought process.

+1. In these families are spouses asking to hug each other, too? Does your child ask to hug you before hugging?

People get to decide when and how they're touched. Your poor kids.

I honestly want to know how this works in your family. Like giving your kid a kiss on the head is a no-go? Hugging them without prior consent is wrong? Wtf happened in your household that you can’t hug your own kid without asking if you’re doing something wrong

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is crazy. Stupid trend.

Well we'll see what the rates of date rape look like in 20 years.

Lol. Please do explain the logic behind this statement. I would love to hear your thought process.

+1. In these families are spouses asking to hug each other, too? Does your child ask to hug you before hugging?

People get to decide when and how they're touched. Your poor kids.

Given the obvious power differential in the relationship, how could you even be sure that your children arent feeling pressure to agree to touch that they don’t actually want from you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are a no physical touch without verbal consent family. I have both girls and boys so I want it to be modeled and for them them feel comfortable saying no. My kids as young as 18 months know to say yes or no. We have 6 kids ages 18 months to 17.

You might want to work on withholding consent sometimes. 6 kids is too many.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are a no physical touch without verbal consent family. I have both girls and boys so I want it to be modeled and for them them feel comfortable saying no. My kids as young as 18 months know to say yes or no. We have 6 kids ages 18 months to 17.

You might want to work on withholding consent sometimes. 6 kids is too many.

How, in a family of 8, does anyone have time to have interactions beyond “Larlo, may I put my arm around you? May I now hug you? DH may I give you a kiss before I go upstairs?”. At some point it seems like everyone would just begin minimizing physical contact

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are a no physical touch without verbal consent family. I have both girls and boys so I want it to be modeled and for them them feel comfortable saying no. My kids as young as 18 months know to say yes or no. We have 6 kids ages 18 months to 17.

You might want to work on withholding consent sometimes. 6 kids is too many.

These are weird religious freaks
How, in a family of 8, does anyone have time to have interactions beyond “Larlo, may I put my arm around you? May I now hug you? DH may I give you a kiss before I go upstairs?”. At some point it seems like everyone would just begin minimizing physical contact

[Anonymous]

Uh, no? Wtf?

What kind of clinical, cold dystopian crap do we live in where a mom isn’t allowed to hug her boys?

In fact, I frequently do so (ie when dropping them at school) to maximize the eye rolling.

Ridiculous concept. I feel sorry for kids with parents that that are so dead inside that they feel this is necessary with their OWN CHILDREN. Yikes.

[Anonymous]

Nope. If we are out in public or in front of a lot of his friends I may say. Do you mind if I hug you?.... But if we're at home or with family, I'm not asking my child. If I can show them how much I love them

[Anonymous]

I think that you are setting these children up for great failure in the future. Not everyone is going to ask them before they are touched and if they are not used to that and they will not know how to respond.

If my son is upset about something and I go in for a hug he feels comfortable enough to say I don't want to be touched right now... I respect that.
Sometimes he'll say I don't want to hug when he is mad and I say, is that your anger talking or do you really not want one?..... Sometimes he says he really would like one. Another times he says no he wants to be left alone.

For respecting another person's bodily autonomy, but you also need to give them the tools to survive in life.