Disagreeing on when to retire with spouse

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Likely, you two have nothing to decide. Not now. But just incase you actually are privileged to have these real, immediate choices, hire a financial professional. The can be a third person. They can lay-out the different paths, choices, what each decision would look like. It's very helpful to have someone else deliver the news.

It doesn't mean you have to invest with them.

OP here. I want to retire soon, before I'm 40. I don't think a financial professional will be helpful to us, since my spouse's financial goals involve building as large of a nest egg as possible. And that requires 2 incomes.

Whoa, you want to retire before you are 40? Are you independently wealthy?

That said, one can retire before the other.

[Anonymous]

Even I find what you are saying is crazy and my husband will have a 6 figure pension with affordable healthcare in his mid 40s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you and your spouse?

We are in our mid-late 30s. This is when I had planned on retiring.

That’s not retiring. That’s quitting (which is fine, but call it what it is).

+1 Thought you meant 50 vs 55 vs 62 etc.

At 40, it's quitting to become a SAHP. Which is fine, but call it what it is. Can see why spouse is in disagreement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We have around $2.5-3m in assets, excluding any home equity in our primary residence. I feel like we can live on just my spouse's income, maybe cutting back just slightly. My spouse does not want to cut back on our lifestyle at all.

Seems fair.
what if spouses wants to retire today too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We have around $2.5-3m in assets, excluding any home equity in our primary residence. I feel like we can live on just my spouse's income, maybe cutting back just slightly. My spouse does not want to cut back on our lifestyle at all.

Seems fair.
what if spouses wants to retire today too?

OP here. I already answered that and said it would be fine.

[Anonymous]

It seems like you could reach an agreement on when it makes sense for you to retire, either by age or by a certain financial metric. But that requires compromise on your end too, which may mean you work until you are 45 or something (which is still quite young) instead of retiring at, say, 38.

[Anonymous]

Why are you embarrassed to say you want to be a SAHM?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We have around $2.5-3m in assets, excluding any home equity in our primary residence. I feel like we can live on just my spouse's income, maybe cutting back just slightly. My spouse does not want to cut back on our lifestyle at all.

What if he also wants to retire now?

Why do you assume OP is a woman - is it just because the site is called "DC Urban Moms?" The FIRE movement, especially the ultra-early and ultra-frugal version, which OP is espousing, is made up almost 100% of men.

[Anonymous]

I don't see this as a joint decision, entirely. My husband retired three + years ago and I am going to work 3 or 4 more. I realize that one spouse can't just unilaterally decide to retire if the family needs the money but if the financial bases are covered and one spouse just wants both to work until they drop due to financial insecurity hangups, then the other spouse can say no, I'm retiring.

I realize this is a luxury, to have even one spouse stop work before social security eligibility age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you embarrassed to say you want to be a SAHM?

OP here. My spouse doesn't want me to stay at home at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you embarrassed to say you want to be a SAHM?

OP here. My spouse doesn't want me to stay at home at all.

The OP is a troll.

[Anonymous]

What if you agree to retire now and you live off your income and he retires at 65 and he lives off his income?

You have $3M (let say).

1/2 is your's, 1/2 is his.

You can take about $30K/year for your stuff and pay 1/2 the kids college. Can you live off $30K/year?

He continues to work and add to his retirement and pay his 1/2 with his income.

then come 65, you live off what you have left and he lives off what he has... which is about 3x 1.5M $4.5 M... so he has about $150K/year

You are all about downsizing and living a simple life ... you do that.
He doesn't want to, he wants to live a more comfortable life so he buys nice cars, nice stuff, nice vacations, etc.

Is that okay with you?

Would you agree to that?

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Look, OP is a troll. No doubt about it. But I’ll say this anyway: you’re “retired” in name only if your spouse is still working full time. The only difference is that instead of your schedule revolving around your work, it revolves around your spouse’s. You’re still not free by any means.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone else here disagree with their spouse on when they should retire? I want to retire very early, but my spouse wants us to both work for as long as possible, at least until the traditional retirement age. How do you reconcile the two? Yes, we discussed this during dating, when my spouse voiced support for my retirement goals. But that was before kids, childcare expenses, and buying a house.

If kids were added after the agreement to stop working at 40, then the decision to have kids supersedes the stop working at 40 - same for deciding to purchase a house.

You both have room to compromise here. Talk about each of your financial goals. Maybe, the compromise is to retire at 50 or after youngest graduates from college or whatever you two decide together.