“Too bad you only have boys”

[Anonymous]

My friends with only girls have said appalling things to me, too. They make generalizations about how men are terrible and how happy they are that they had girls. It’s hard not to take personally, especially when they talked about being smug that none of their kids can be drafted. I get that some of them choose to have girls, due to IVF, but part of having kids the old-fashioned way is welcoming whoever shows up. I had boys, so I love my boys and try to raise them to be equal partners. I don’t need them hearing how awful men are.

[Anonymous]

I would like to think your friend has daughters she loves and appreciates. She simply wants you to have that joy, too. Some sons can be more delightful than some daughters, it’s all personality!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friends with only girls have said appalling things to me, too. They make generalizations about how men are terrible and how happy they are that they had girls. It’s hard not to take personally, especially when they talked about being smug that none of their kids can be drafted. I get that some of them choose to have girls, due to IVF, but part of having kids the old-fashioned way is welcoming whoever shows up. I had boys, so I love my boys and try to raise them to be equal partners. I don’t need them hearing how awful men are.

Your friends seem mean! I am a mother of all girls too and I would never say that to anyone with only boys. Every child is a blessing. You should tell your friends men usually turn out awful because of how they are raised by their mothers so they should put in the hard work and make sure their sons turn out right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friends with only girls have said appalling things to me, too. They make generalizations about how men are terrible and how happy they are that they had girls. It’s hard not to take personally, especially when they talked about being smug that none of their kids can be drafted. I get that some of them choose to have girls, due to IVF, but part of having kids the old-fashioned way is welcoming whoever shows up. I had boys, so I love my boys and try to raise them to be equal partners. I don’t need them hearing how awful men are.

I see daily comments on DCUM that blame men for everything wrong in the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People have their own opinions about everything. I’ve had people tell me how sorry that only have a single girl. She must be so lonely, and who ever will carry on the family name?

I don’t usually go out of my way to indulge them.

Are we in the 1950s?

My sister and I kept our original names. ("Blah blah blah it's your father's 's name") Her children have hyphenated names. My kids have my last name.

My brother is gay and won't be having children.

The patriarchy has got to stop somewhere. In our family it has now stopped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friends with only girls have said appalling things to me, too. They make generalizations about how men are terrible and how happy they are that they had girls. It’s hard not to take personally, especially when they talked about being smug that none of their kids can be drafted. I get that some of them choose to have girls, due to IVF, but part of having kids the old-fashioned way is welcoming whoever shows up. I had boys, so I love my boys and try to raise them to be equal partners. I don’t need them hearing how awful men are.

Your friends seem mean! I am a mother of all girls too and I would never say that to anyone with only boys. Every child is a blessing. You should tell your friends men usually turn out awful because of how they are raised by their mothers so they should put in the hard work and make sure their sons turn out right.

This is unfortunately true. Internalized misogyny is responsible for the perpetuation of the patriarchy. My own mother was incredibly sexist and the person it hurt the most was, ironically, my brother. She turned him into a monster with her coddling.

[Anonymous]

I kind of feel this way … about myself. I have all boys.

BUT I would never ever in a million years say that to a friend who has only boys. Time to drop this insensitive friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friends with only girls have said appalling things to me, too. They make generalizations about how men are terrible and how happy they are that they had girls. It’s hard not to take personally, especially when they talked about being smug that none of their kids can be drafted. I get that some of them choose to have girls, due to IVF, but part of having kids the old-fashioned way is welcoming whoever shows up. I had boys, so I love my boys and try to raise them to be equal partners. I don’t need them hearing how awful men are.

Why are you still friends with these people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friends with only girls have said appalling things to me, too. They make generalizations about how men are terrible and how happy they are that they had girls. It’s hard not to take personally, especially when they talked about being smug that none of their kids can be drafted. I get that some of them choose to have girls, due to IVF, but part of having kids the old-fashioned way is welcoming whoever shows up. I had boys, so I love my boys and try to raise them to be equal partners. I don’t need them hearing how awful men are.

Any anyway this chain shows plenty of girls grow up into women who totally suck. It's not unique to one gender.

[Anonymous]

I only have boys and get these comments but I wanted boys so... I wonder how often girl moms get these comments. Ironically most families I know with 3+ kids had 2 girls first and made it pretty clear they were going on to try for a boy. Very few B-B-G families.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend with 3 boys who gets these types of comments and the even more upsetting part is she had a miscarriage (around 20 weeks) with a baby girl. I know for her it is salt in the wound to have people tell her she should have tried for a girl or doesn’t she wish she had a girl. People need to stfu about other people’s family makeup/reproductive choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I only have boys and get these comments but I wanted boys so... I wonder how often girl moms get these comments. Ironically most families I know with 3+ kids had 2 girls first and made it pretty clear they were going on to try for a boy. Very few B-B-G families.

NP and girl mom here. We do get it often too. I’ve been told on this site that if my husband says he’s happy with only girls (he is) that he is blatantly lying to me and OF COURSE he wants a boy and couldn’t be happy with daughters. So, yes people on this site are just nasty.

[Anonymous]

The super sensitivity of some of you is beyond ludicrous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The super sensitivity of some of you is beyond ludicrous.

"It was just a joke!" is the rallying cry of bullies everywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friends with only girls have said appalling things to me, too. They make generalizations about how men are terrible and how happy they are that they had girls. It’s hard not to take personally, especially when they talked about being smug that none of their kids can be drafted. I get that some of them choose to have girls, due to IVF, but part of having kids the old-fashioned way is welcoming whoever shows up. I had boys, so I love my boys and try to raise them to be equal partners. I don’t need them hearing how awful men are.

I have a girl (only child) and my SIL also has a girl (only child) and she says stuff like this all the time. Stuff like "girls rule and boys drool" or "girls are the best" or whatever. For some reason my brother seems to find this charming even though he has a boy from a previous marriage. I find it so bizarre and rude.

I love having a daughter but I would have been happy with a son too. I can't imagine telling someone to have more kids for any reason at all. I originally wanted another child but it didn't work out for me (and now it feels meant to be and I'm happy as a mom to an only). If a friend told me "you should have another kid" I would tell them to get the hell out of my uterus and mind their own business. And unless I got a solid apology on their end I'd be wary of spending time with them again. It's just insanely rude and presumptuous.