Husband is impossible

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am very handy because I learned from my dad from a young age. I am not sure if the same can be said about today's men. I watched a show on YouTube where a guy goes around asking a bunch of men in their 20s if they ever replaced a light bulb. Let me say it was shocking. He also asks a bunch of other basic things they couldn't do it.

Same. My father and brothers put to shame everyone I dated and eventually married. Engines, home repairs, plumbing, drywall, landscaping, painting.

It’s like he never paid attention to anything going on anywhere; even when paid repairmen or the home inspector were talking to us. He learned nothing. He missed their tips. He couldn’t connect the dots.

It’s like they cannot learn. Which is scary.

NP and this is my DH too. I feel embarrassed to be married to a man who isn’t capable but also doesn’t try to learn, and who watches me do stuff instead of learning how to help.

When I am calm, I can be objective and see that my DH’s issue stems from being raised by parents from another country where apartments are very small and not really easy to improve so they’re treated as disposable. Many people from their country of origin will basically run an apartment into the ground and then someone who is less well-off buys it, and then the seller moves into a new building built on the site of a teardown that could no longer be passed to progressively poorer families.

Based on some of the writing style of PPs, they might have DH’s with similar backgrounds. It doesn’t excuse it but it explains it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am very handy because I learned from my dad from a young age. I am not sure if the same can be said about today's men. I watched a show on YouTube where a guy goes around asking a bunch of men in their 20s if they ever replaced a light bulb. Let me say it was shocking. He also asks a bunch of other basic things they couldn't do it.

Same. My father and brothers put to shame everyone I dated and eventually married. Engines, home repairs, plumbing, drywall, landscaping, painting.

It’s like he never paid attention to anything going on anywhere; even when paid repairmen or the home inspector were talking to us. He learned nothing. He missed their tips. He couldn’t connect the dots.

It’s like they cannot learn. Which is scary.

NP and this is my DH too. I feel embarrassed to be married to a man who isn’t capable but also doesn’t try to learn, and who watches me do stuff instead of learning how to help.

When I am calm, I can be objective and see that my DH’s issue stems from being raised by parents from another country where apartments are very small and not really easy to improve so they’re treated as disposable. Many people from their country of origin will basically run an apartment into the ground and then someone who is less well-off buys it, and then the seller moves into a new building built on the site of a teardown that could no longer be passed to progressively poorer families.

Based on some of the writing style of PPs, they might have DH’s with similar backgrounds. It doesn’t excuse it but it explains it.

Is he a progressive vagina hat wearing Kamala supporter? Perhaps he is just shunning traditional gender roles?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am very handy because I learned from my dad from a young age. I am not sure if the same can be said about today's men. I watched a show on YouTube where a guy goes around asking a bunch of men in their 20s if they ever replaced a light bulb. Let me say it was shocking. He also asks a bunch of other basic things they couldn't do it.

Same. My father and brothers put to shame everyone I dated and eventually married. Engines, home repairs, plumbing, drywall, landscaping, painting.

It’s like he never paid attention to anything going on anywhere; even when paid repairmen or the home inspector were talking to us. He learned nothing. He missed their tips. He couldn’t connect the dots.

It’s like they cannot learn. Which is scary.

NP and this is my DH too. I feel embarrassed to be married to a man who isn’t capable but also doesn’t try to learn, and who watches me do stuff instead of learning how to help.

When I am calm, I can be objective and see that my DH’s issue stems from being raised by parents from another country where apartments are very small and not really easy to improve so they’re treated as disposable. Many people from their country of origin will basically run an apartment into the ground and then someone who is less well-off buys it, and then the seller moves into a new building built on the site of a teardown that could no longer be passed to progressively poorer families.

Based on some of the writing style of PPs, they might have DH’s with similar backgrounds. It doesn’t excuse it but it explains it.

Well a few things resonate, culturally.

I grew up in a northernEU/German part of the U.S. where everyone took great pride in fixing their own homes, shoveling snow, maintaining their boats and cars, and building things.

Then I married a London city boy who can’t even fix a leaky toilet. Or tell if it’s running nonstop. He just doesn’t pay attention. More for me to do if I also am the only adult even identifying broken stuff in a 4 BR home.

He had a tinkerer dad but I now know that was the wife sending him out to tinker so he didn’t make messes in the house. Takes him 4x as long as me or anyone to actually fix something. Omg. Multiple trips and returning things at the Home Depot.

[Anonymous]

If the guy makes high income he automatically believes everything else is beneath him. So you can fix it or call the repairman’s he’s busy on his iPhone “working.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP sounds like she wants to be her husband’s boss, not his wife.

If you had enough money to buy a new build, you no doubt have enough to hire a handyman to do some of these projects. Boss that person around and let your DH get a rest.

She’s a nag on steroids. I feel sorry for the husband. Sounds beaten down by is estrogen fueled monster.

You feel sorry for my husband because I am asked him to replace two door stoppers several times over the last two months. It looks like men can do harm on this forum.

I don’t think you realize that you seem crazy because you are making a big deal out of so little. Hire a handyman, way cheaper than divorce.

The obviously have more problems pp if they can’t decide on door stoppers. The husband sounds more like a control freak. Op should be able to share her thoughts about house repairs without him losing it and berating her.

They are both control freaks in the sense that they both want to control what the husband does.

It's TWO door stoppers and she's pregnant with a basketball-sized baby. Come on. Stop making excuses for the lazy guy. OP said he finally did it after she left. He can do it but apparently, it takes an angry pregnant lady and two months of patience. I can't imagine hiring someone to come replace two door stoppers. It would take the person 5 mins.

[Anonymous]

How do you stump a toe?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ll start by saying I am pregnant right now and physically things are getting harder and harder. I have asked dh to replace the door stoppers several times now. I ordered replacements that are more secure from Amazon 2 months ago. A few weeks ago he attempted but decided he might stump his toe and doesn’t want them there anymore. I said he needs to figure out how to fix the baseboard then because there is a huge hole and it would be easier to just replace them. He didn’t look into options. Today I attempted to replace them myself but let’s just say it wasn’t successful. I couldn’t get the right angle with my bump. I asked my 8 year old to help hold a part for him and dh is just sitting on the sofa. I was so livid. We also have this bidet sprayer that has been damaging the wall and damaging the wood floors so I said let’s switch to one that has the bidet spray in the toilet seat. Dh refuses to switch and says it’s a waste of money blah blah blah. We just moved into a new construction townhouse. Why would you want to damage the walls and the wood floors just so you can keep this cheap $20 sprayer to clean your ass? Makes no sense and I just paid to wall paper the powder room so the kids will end up damaging it again if we don’t replace the sprayer. These things seem so small and most people wouldn’t need to spend so much time discussing what’s right, what to do etc. Dh ended up leaving and hasn’t been home in several hours. I feel his perceptions are off or something. In the future I think it makes sense to hire someone and stop discussing these things. Dh also loves to say I do decor stuff without him but he has zero ideas. His idea is literally to do nothing. He got so angry because I wanted to change the kitchen knobs last year. I wanted to upgrade our builder kitchen to make it more modern … we have brown cabinets and the options the builders gave us were minimum. I spent $50 on black and brass knobs and pulls and they look great. He loves to tell people I did everything and give me credit when they see our house. It doesn’t make sense and when we were picking finishes for the house he had no interest. He said he doesn’t care and I’m better at choosing. Our house wouldn’t have art or anything on the walls of dh was in charge of decor. The furniture would be brown or navy and mostly likely there would be no rugs anywhere in the house except the bathrooms. He knows I love decorating. He just wants to take a dig at me because he’s mad.

Shoot me now…

[Anonymous]

OP it sounds like you care about various upgrades and decor and he does not. Not all DHs are handy or have the interest or time. Have a conversation about whether he wants to do something, it's needed, and whether a handyman should come out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP it sounds like you care about various upgrades and decor and he does not. Not all DHs are handy or have the interest or time. Have a conversation about whether he wants to do something, it's needed, and whether a handyman should come out.

Nothing OP said indicates she expects the guy to do upgrades or decor. She talked about replacing a door stopper and a toilet seat. Chances are the guys can't do upgrades if a door stopper takes so long. A new build comes with all the upgrades. People go with new build because they aren't handy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll start by saying I am pregnant right now and physically things are getting harder and harder. I have asked dh to replace the door stoppers several times now. I ordered replacements that are more secure from Amazon 2 months ago. A few weeks ago he attempted but decided he might stump his toe and doesn’t want them there anymore. I said he needs to figure out how to fix the baseboard then because there is a huge hole and it would be easier to just replace them. He didn’t look into options. Today I attempted to replace them myself but let’s just say it wasn’t successful. I couldn’t get the right angle with my bump. I asked my 8 year old to help hold a part for him and dh is just sitting on the sofa. I was so livid. We also have this bidet sprayer that has been damaging the wall and damaging the wood floors so I said let’s switch to one that has the bidet spray in the toilet seat. Dh refuses to switch and says it’s a waste of money blah blah blah. We just moved into a new construction townhouse. Why would you want to damage the walls and the wood floors just so you can keep this cheap $20 sprayer to clean your ass? Makes no sense and I just paid to wall paper the powder room so the kids will end up damaging it again if we don’t replace the sprayer. These things seem so small and most people wouldn’t need to spend so much time discussing what’s right, what to do etc. Dh ended up leaving and hasn’t been home in several hours. I feel his perceptions are off or something. In the future I think it makes sense to hire someone and stop discussing these things. Dh also loves to say I do decor stuff without him but he has zero ideas. His idea is literally to do nothing. He got so angry because I wanted to change the kitchen knobs last year. I wanted to upgrade our builder kitchen to make it more modern … we have brown cabinets and the options the builders gave us were minimum. I spent $50 on black and brass knobs and pulls and they look great. He loves to tell people I did everything and give me credit when they see our house. It doesn’t make sense and when we were picking finishes for the house he had no interest. He said he doesn’t care and I’m better at choosing. Our house wouldn’t have art or anything on the walls of dh was in charge of decor. The furniture would be brown or navy and mostly likely there would be no rugs anywhere in the house except the bathrooms. He knows I love decorating. He just wants to take a dig at me because he’s mad.

Shoot me now…

Possibly the most annoying poster of all time. I got a headache reading the OP.

[Anonymous]

1) Hire a handyman

2) Stop having children with this man

3) Learn better communication skills, in person and in written complaints.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll start by saying I am pregnant right now and physically things are getting harder and harder. I have asked dh to replace the door stoppers several times now. I ordered replacements that are more secure from Amazon 2 months ago. A few weeks ago he attempted but decided he might stump his toe and doesn’t want them there anymore. I said he needs to figure out how to fix the baseboard then because there is a huge hole and it would be easier to just replace them. He didn’t look into options. Today I attempted to replace them myself but let’s just say it wasn’t successful. I couldn’t get the right angle with my bump. I asked my 8 year old to help hold a part for him and dh is just sitting on the sofa. I was so livid. We also have this bidet sprayer that has been damaging the wall and damaging the wood floors so I said let’s switch to one that has the bidet spray in the toilet seat. Dh refuses to switch and says it’s a waste of money blah blah blah. We just moved into a new construction townhouse. Why would you want to damage the walls and the wood floors just so you can keep this cheap $20 sprayer to clean your ass? Makes no sense and I just paid to wall paper the powder room so the kids will end up damaging it again if we don’t replace the sprayer. These things seem so small and most people wouldn’t need to spend so much time discussing what’s right, what to do etc. Dh ended up leaving and hasn’t been home in several hours. I feel his perceptions are off or something. In the future I think it makes sense to hire someone and stop discussing these things. Dh also loves to say I do decor stuff without him but he has zero ideas. His idea is literally to do nothing. He got so angry because I wanted to change the kitchen knobs last year. I wanted to upgrade our builder kitchen to make it more modern … we have brown cabinets and the options the builders gave us were minimum. I spent $50 on black and brass knobs and pulls and they look great. He loves to tell people I did everything and give me credit when they see our house. It doesn’t make sense and when we were picking finishes for the house he had no interest. He said he doesn’t care and I’m better at choosing. Our house wouldn’t have art or anything on the walls of dh was in charge of decor. The furniture would be brown or navy and mostly likely there would be no rugs anywhere in the house except the bathrooms. He knows I love decorating. He just wants to take a dig at me because he’s mad.

Shoot me now…

Possibly the most annoying poster of all time. I got a headache reading the OP.

Sounds like you need a life PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you stump a toe?

Cut it down and dig out the roots

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am very handy because I learned from my dad from a young age. I am not sure if the same can be said about today's men. I watched a show on YouTube where a guy goes around asking a bunch of men in their 20s if they ever replaced a light bulb. Let me say it was shocking. He also asks a bunch of other basic things they couldn't do it.

Same. My father and brothers put to shame everyone I dated and eventually married. Engines, home repairs, plumbing, drywall, landscaping, painting.

It’s like he never paid attention to anything going on anywhere; even when paid repairmen or the home inspector were talking to us. He learned nothing. He missed their tips. He couldn’t connect the dots.

It’s like they cannot learn. Which is scary.

NP and this is my DH too. I feel embarrassed to be married to a man who isn’t capable but also doesn’t try to learn, and who watches me do stuff instead of learning how to help.

When I am calm, I can be objective and see that my DH’s issue stems from being raised by parents from another country where apartments are very small and not really easy to improve so they’re treated as disposable. Many people from their country of origin will basically run an apartment into the ground and then someone who is less well-off buys it, and then the seller moves into a new building built on the site of a teardown that could no longer be passed to progressively poorer families.

Based on some of the writing style of PPs, they might have DH’s with similar backgrounds. It doesn’t excuse it but it explains it.

Is he a progressive vagina hat wearing Kamala supporter? Perhaps he is just shunning traditional gender roles?

The insecure incel joined the group. Your poor mother, sister, wife, …. What a loser.