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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am very handy because I learned from my dad from a young age. I am not sure if the same can be said about today's men. I watched a show on YouTube where a guy goes around asking a bunch of men in their 20s if they ever replaced a light bulb. Let me say it was shocking. He also asks a bunch of other basic things they couldn't do it.[/quote]

Same. My father and brothers put to shame everyone I dated and eventually married. Engines, home repairs, plumbing, drywall, landscaping, painting.

It’s like he never paid attention to anything going on anywhere; even when paid repairmen or the home inspector were talking to us. He learned nothing. He missed their tips. He couldn’t connect the dots.

It’s like they cannot learn. Which is scary. [/quote]

NP and this is my DH too. I feel embarrassed to be married to a man who isn’t capable but also doesn’t try to learn, and who watches me do stuff instead of learning how to help.

When I am calm, I can be objective and see that my DH’s issue stems from being raised by parents from another country where apartments are very small and not really easy to improve so they’re treated as disposable. Many people from their country of origin will basically run an apartment into the ground and then someone who is less well-off buys it, and then the seller moves into a new building built on the site of a teardown that could no longer be passed to progressively poorer families.

Based on some of the writing style of PPs, they might have DH’s with similar backgrounds. It doesn’t excuse it but it explains it.[/quote]
Well a few things resonate, culturally.

I grew up in a northernEU/German part of the U.S. where everyone took great pride in fixing their own homes, shoveling snow, maintaining their boats and cars, and building things.

Then I married a London city boy who can’t even fix a leaky toilet. Or tell if it’s running nonstop. He just doesn’t pay attention. More for me to do if I also am the only adult even identifying broken stuff in a 4 BR home.

He had a tinkerer dad but I now know that was the wife sending him out to tinker so he didn’t make messes in the house. Takes him 4x as long as me or anyone to actually fix something. Omg. Multiple trips and returning things at the Home Depot. [/quote]

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