Adult sleepovers, why are they not fun for me?

[Anonymous]

Op here. Yes, it’s been the same group of local friends who’ve really gotten into the entire girls weekend activities in recent years. I’d say it started maybe 2016/2017-ish. I feel awful that I dread these weekends but it’s always a sleepover that’s planned. My emotional bandwidth has maxed out. It’s come to the point now I just decline. I enjoy the friendship but I much prefer going to lunch or dinner rather than the entire evening at someone’s home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one does this.

Who else think this is some pervy guys fantasy here?

"After we take off our bras, we braid each other's hair!"

[Anonymous]

I’ve never done this with local friends, but my college friends and I rotate once a year hosting the 5 of us and depending on space we share beds, but we’ve been sharing beds on spring breaks and such since we were 18, way more than half our lives at this point. Only two of the 5 are local to each other and when we are in their neck of the woods the one who isn’t hosting typically retreats home late into the evening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is weird and I have not heard of anyone doing this locally as an adult.

+1 I thought the phrase was being used as a euphemism

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Yes, it’s been the same group of local friends who’ve really gotten into the entire girls weekend activities in recent years. I’d say it started maybe 2016/2017-ish. I feel awful that I dread these weekends but it’s always a sleepover that’s planned. My emotional bandwidth has maxed out. It’s come to the point now I just decline. I enjoy the friendship but I much prefer going to lunch or dinner rather than the entire evening at someone’s home.

Are you all broke? Go to a hotel or something! At least make it a spa weekend. This does not sound relaxing at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Yes, it’s been the same group of local friends who’ve really gotten into the entire girls weekend activities in recent years. I’d say it started maybe 2016/2017-ish. I feel awful that I dread these weekends but it’s always a sleepover that’s planned. My emotional bandwidth has maxed out. It’s come to the point now I just decline. I enjoy the friendship but I much prefer going to lunch or dinner rather than the entire evening at someone’s home.

Are you all broke? Go to a hotel or something! At least make it a spa weekend. This does not sound relaxing at all.

It’s usually at a house because someone needs to be close to home for their child’s soccer game on Sunday or another couldn’t get the dog walker to come in the evening. This also spawned out of the birthday weekend text groups, “Julie’s 30th birthday” type chat. Inevitably, someone would text after the birthday weekend about we need to do this more often, asking which weekends everyone was free. I will say it was fun in the beginning,years ago, now I am burnt out or just feeling over it.

[Anonymous]

I have friends that do this. I am on the outside of the circle now because I think sleeping over at someone else’s house when my perfectly good bed is within driving distance is insane.

It’s worth noting that in my case, the gatherings revolve around lots of drinking and edibles (not my thing), which may be why they are fun for the others and require staying over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have friends that do this. I am on the outside of the circle now because I think sleeping over at someone else’s house when my perfectly good bed is within driving distance is insane.

It’s worth noting that in my case, the gatherings revolve around lots of drinking and edibles (not my thing), which may be why they are fun for the others and require staying over.

I have a neighbor whose husband does this frequently. It’s bizarre, she goes out of town for the night and his friends all come over and spend the night. This is a couple in their 40s and in Northern Virginia.

[Anonymous]

This sounded fun till the sharing the bed part.

[Anonymous]

That sounds really fun tbh

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have friends that do this. I am on the outside of the circle now because I think sleeping over at someone else’s house when my perfectly good bed is within driving distance is insane.

It’s worth noting that in my case, the gatherings revolve around lots of drinking and edibles (not my thing), which may be why they are fun for the others and require staying over.

I have a neighbor whose husband does this frequently. It’s bizarre, she goes out of town for the night and his friends all come over and spend the night. This is a couple in their 40s and in Northern Virginia.

On the down low.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Your friends are weird - nobody does this, on a consistent on-going basis, as an adult.

Yes super weird.
I feel like you should maybe define “adult”here.
As I read this, I’m 46 and cannot imagine having done this past age 24.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That sounds really fun tbh

I agree! I wouldn't sleep over because I don't sleep well when I'm not at home, but everything else sounds fun. I have a group of girlfriends and we have a lot of girls' nights in. Some are moms, some are not. I really value female friendship and I am so grateful to have them.

[Anonymous]

This was something that one would do in 6th grade!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This was something that one would do in 6th grade!

My besties and I have been doing this since 6th grade and still do/ late 40s.