Do I HAVE to go visit and when?

[Anonymous]

Offer to drive her back to your place and let her pick out a new assisted living place here. If she’s just in the wheelchair due to fear of falling that means she’s still ambulatory to some extent so a car trip won’t be that bad. Just get a wheelchair you can lift on your own and stop enough to keep her comfortable. Maybe see a few sights along the way. Tell her if she doesn’t like it where you live you’ll take her back to where she was in a couple months. And do it. Make it her decision.

[Anonymous]

The next time she says she wants to go back with you, get excited and talk about what you two can do and the fact that it will much better for you also. Ideally, let the social worker or some important staff of her facility hear her.

Then just set the plan in motion. Find a new place, notify the old one. Involve a professional (senior care specialist or lawyer if you need to).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Dog is not an excuse by any means. Every trip I’ve taken there has been hell on earth, and all because no one wanted to make a viable decision. They’ve cost us a lot of money, and me, real physical and mental hardship.

My dog, on the other hand, has been a loyal, sweet companion.

There will be a come to Jesus on this visit. If she decides to come back to an assisted living here, I have no problem helping her; shopping, doc appts, etc. I have the flexibility and time, and she’s not hard to be around. If she is still letting her fears run her decisions, then after this visit, I won’t go back. FaceTime, fine. Phone calls, fine. But I won’t do the back and forth thing. It costs too much both financially, physically, and emotionally.

As for hiring a personal assistant, you all must have unlimited funds to burn. If she decides to come back, we have family (nurses) that will come out and fly back with me to assist.

Well it helps that dogs can’t talk back or ask for what they want.

Sounds like that is how one wins your undying love !

(And she is not volitionally “letting ” her fears dictate her decisions. She is genuinely afraid.

Perhaps if you could reach inside and find some empathy/compassion for her reality…she would be more inclined to trust you and comply? 🤔

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope your dog is ok.

He was sick the week before I left with what we thought was mild pancreatitis. Vet said to go; husband took great care of him. Cleared up quick with his protocol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your feelings for your dog are totally valid.
I quit a job to care for my cats in the last months of their lives. Thought it would be longer, but no regrets.
The ultimatum posed in the form of mother I need your help is my favorite option here. FaceTime or she moves to a closer facility accompanied by a medical aid. It's the unknown and loss of control that is terrifying. They could drop her where she is but she's used to where she is.

Thank you. They give so selflessly. You’re very kind.

[Anonymous]

❤️