Spouse turned fitness “model”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand the actual issue. Is it that he is super fit and you are not?

You ever spend time with someone who is obsessed with working out. They're irritating as hell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Married almost 20 years, teens in HS.

All is relatively well until DH hit some major work stress and after a few months of being miserable/stressed turned to working out as his stress reliever. He was in average shape.

Great, beats drinking or other options.

About 8 months later or so he accomplished his goals (I guess? Seems to be a moving target) and he looks like a UFC fighter or something…he is all natural so no anger issues or anything but just really, really in shape now and pure muscle.

Has anyone gone through this? I thought it was a stress management thing and I was happy he found a healthy way out - but is the next step to realize I did not take this health/fitness journey with him and not at his level?

I am not terribly out of shape, but after watching him work out (6 days a week, 2 times a day 4x a week) and eat the way he does not sure I am on the “all abs” 50 pull up bandwagon.

His work is settled down, or at least he handles it now with his fitness thing. Kids seem fine, he is not pushing any diet or workouts on us, not posting his transformation on social media; just seems like a major pivot and not sure what to expect next (if anything).

I am kind of dreading when we go to the pool this summer and I get asked what happened to him, or is that even is him.

Thanks!

OP,

What you're really saying is you're jealous he has the self motivation and conviction to do something so hard...and you don't. Now, you're jealous and know people will judge you when you're out together. I've been that husband. I got into excellent shape four years ago and at my age I really stand out. My spouse is jealous as she's 40lb overweight. She could easily lose it but doesn't have the motivation. All talk and no action.

Don't get upset at him. Look yourself in the mirror.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand the actual issue. Is it that he is super fit and you are not?

You ever spend time with someone who is obsessed with working out. They're irritating as hell.

Untrue. Also, OP stated he doesn't push his lifestyle on the family. Nice try troll.

[Anonymous]

My friends husband did this. Left her for his gym partner who was just a "friend"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH got in the shape a few years ago. he is a bigger guy and is more of the Viking muscle look. Clearly defined muscles with PV plus six pack.

He definitely gets noticed at the beach, the pool and just running errands. I don’t mind, I know who’s going home with I know he is still very attracted to me. I also know our dynamic is not easily replicated.

OP are you concerned that he won't find you attractive anymore/will stray from you?

My husband is similar and I'm happy for him because he feels better and happy for me because I get to look at him! But like PP I'm not worried he's going anywhere.

[Anonymous]

Wish my DH could do this! But yeah I also find people whose only hobby or interest heath and fitness to be dull AF so I would want it to be an aside.

[Anonymous]

I'm this guy in the marriage but I don't talk about it. I exercise a lot of the horny away anyway. I share all the meal prep with my wife so she can eat healthy with me. Her exercise habits are up to her.

[Anonymous]

Bet sex is better now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bet sex is better now

Bet it’s not. The guy above you just said that he exercised all of the horny away. This was my experience with my husband as well. He wasn’t as invested in our sex life, and it wasn’t as good.
I was most disappointed that he wasn’t as involved in our family life.

I don’t understand why OP’s husband isn’t including their teens in his workout routines. Most teens play sports, and it would be a great way for the kids to stay in shape and spend time with their dad over the summer. Some of my best memories of my dad are from going on runs or going to the gym with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bet sex is better now

Bet it’s not. The guy above you just said that he exercised all of the horny away. This was my experience with my husband as well. He wasn’t as invested in our sex life, and it wasn’t as good.
I was most disappointed that he wasn’t as involved in our family life.

I don’t understand why OP’s husband isn’t including their teens in his workout routines. Most teens play sports, and it would be a great way for the kids to stay in shape and spend time with their dad over the summer. Some of my best memories of my dad are from going on runs or going to the gym with him.

YOU sound amazing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the one who became extremely fit in our marriage. I had been very into fitness in college and right after and then got injured so kind of let it go. DH met me when I was just a stereotypical decently in shape 25 year old. At 40, I changed jobs and had a lot more free time and got back into fitness. I have never wanted to replace DH or not been attracted to him. I don't like the buff gym guys. I like that DH is a little soft. I'd say figure out ways to work on yourself. Your insecurity and fear is far more likely to cause issues than him being in shape.

I agree with this. Find something that you love to do and that makes you feel happy and confident. It doesn't need to be working out, because your husband probably likes you as you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bet sex is better now

Bet it’s not. The guy above you just said that he exercised all of the horny away. This was my experience with my husband as well. He wasn’t as invested in our sex life, and it wasn’t as good.
I was most disappointed that he wasn’t as involved in our family life.

I don’t understand why OP’s husband isn’t including their teens in his workout routines. Most teens play sports, and it would be a great way for the kids to stay in shape and spend time with their dad over the summer. Some of my best memories of my dad are from going on runs or going to the gym with him.

YOU sound amazing.

I am amazing, but I’m not sure how you got that from this post !