Men, if you cheated in the past and got caught?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wife opened a medical record that my doctor sent home. (She pays the bills and opened it thinking it was a bill.). She found out other things to by watching the (joint) cell phone bill and installing a keylogger on her laptop, which I sometimes used.

I told her the girl meant nothing and asked not to break up and agreed to go to therapy with her. But, I lied in therapy for about a year. She found out about the lying and kicked me out.

Definitely not a dead bedroom situation - we had sex multiple times a week. I had two kids with her while I was sleeping with various other women over 3-4 years.

Wow, did you divorce? Get treated for sex addiction?

Diagnosed as a sex addict but refused to go to treatment. Also promised to start AA, but that only lasted about a week. Later diagnosed as bipolar, but didn't like my medications, so I didn't take them regularly. Don't really think bipolar is the right diagnosis anyway.

Yes, we divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She asked and I spilled my guts. Told her everything. 🤷‍♂️

Why? You wanted to come clean?

How’d that work out for you?

I got caught so rather than lie any further, I fessed up. Got divorced. Anything else you want to know?

Nope.

Lost my AP after we got caught.
Just wanted to get the male perspective on the aftermath.

How are you doing now? Still married? Divorced?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She asked and I spilled my guts. Told her everything. 🤷‍♂️

Why? You wanted to come clean?

How’d that work out for you?

I got caught so rather than lie any further, I fessed up. Got divorced. Anything else you want to know?

Nope.

Lost my AP after we got caught.
Just wanted to get the male perspective on the aftermath.

How are you doing now? Still married? Divorced?

Throwing myself into work.
Got a vacation home a few months ago.
Reorganizing around the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wife opened a medical record that my doctor sent home. (She pays the bills and opened it thinking it was a bill.). She found out other things to by watching the (joint) cell phone bill and installing a keylogger on her laptop, which I sometimes used.

I told her the girl meant nothing and asked not to break up and agreed to go to therapy with her. But, I lied in therapy for about a year. She found out about the lying and kicked me out.

Definitely not a dead bedroom situation - we had sex multiple times a week. I had two kids with her while I was sleeping with various other women over 3-4 years.

How do you install a keylogger? I assume you have to know their computer password to get in first?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wife opened a medical record that my doctor sent home. (She pays the bills and opened it thinking it was a bill.). She found out other things to by watching the (joint) cell phone bill and installing a keylogger on her laptop, which I sometimes used.

I told her the girl meant nothing and asked not to break up and agreed to go to therapy with her. But, I lied in therapy for about a year. She found out about the lying and kicked me out.

Definitely not a dead bedroom situation - we had sex multiple times a week. I had two kids with her while I was sleeping with various other women over 3-4 years.

How do you install a keylogger? I assume you have to know their computer password to get in first?

I didn't/don't know anything about computers or keyloggers. As I said above, I was contacting other women on her laptop, so her getting the password wasn't an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She asked and I spilled my guts. Told her everything. 🤷‍♂️

Why? You wanted to come clean?

How’d that work out for you?

I got caught so rather than lie any further, I fessed up. Got divorced. Anything else you want to know?

Nope.

Lost my AP after we got caught.
Just wanted to get the male perspective on the aftermath.

How are you doing now? Still married? Divorced?

Throwing myself into work.
Got a vacation home a few months ago.
Reorganizing around the house.

🤔 Danced around PP questions…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wife opened a medical record that my doctor sent home. (She pays the bills and opened it thinking it was a bill.). She found out other things to by watching the (joint) cell phone bill and installing a keylogger on her laptop, which I sometimes used.

I told her the girl meant nothing and asked not to break up and agreed to go to therapy with her. But, I lied in therapy for about a year. She found out about the lying and kicked me out.

Definitely not a dead bedroom situation - we had sex multiple times a week. I had two kids with her while I was sleeping with various other women over 3-4 years.

How do you install a keylogger? I assume you have to know their computer password to get in first?

I didn't/don't know anything about computers or keyloggers. As I said above, I was contacting other women on her laptop, so her getting the password wasn't an issue.

Wow. That's pretty brazen to be contacting other women on her laptop!!! LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wife opened a medical record that my doctor sent home. (She pays the bills and opened it thinking it was a bill.). She found out other things to by watching the (joint) cell phone bill and installing a keylogger on her laptop, which I sometimes used.

I told her the girl meant nothing and asked not to break up and agreed to go to therapy with her. But, I lied in therapy for about a year. She found out about the lying and kicked me out.

Definitely not a dead bedroom situation - we had sex multiple times a week. I had two kids with her while I was sleeping with various other women over 3-4 years.

How do you install a keylogger? I assume you have to know their computer password to get in first?

I didn't/don't know anything about computers or keyloggers. As I said above, I was contacting other women on her laptop, so her getting the password wasn't an issue.

Wow. That's pretty brazen to be contacting other women on her laptop!!! LOL.

Brazen is one word for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wife opened a medical record that my doctor sent home. (She pays the bills and opened it thinking it was a bill.). She found out other things to by watching the (joint) cell phone bill and installing a keylogger on her laptop, which I sometimes used.

I told her the girl meant nothing and asked not to break up and agreed to go to therapy with her. But, I lied in therapy for about a year. She found out about the lying and kicked me out.

Definitely not a dead bedroom situation - we had sex multiple times a week. I had two kids with her while I was sleeping with various other women over 3-4 years.

Wow, did you divorce? Get treated for sex addiction?

Diagnosed as a sex addict but refused to go to treatment. Also promised to start AA, but that only lasted about a week. Later diagnosed as bipolar, but didn't like my medications, so I didn't take them regularly. Don't really think bipolar is the right diagnosis anyway.

Yes, we divorced.

I’m sorry (for all of you). Are you ok? How are you coping? Is sex addiction the real issue or ,,, did you just not actually love her or she you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wife opened a medical record that my doctor sent home. (She pays the bills and opened it thinking it was a bill.). She found out other things to by watching the (joint) cell phone bill and installing a keylogger on her laptop, which I sometimes used.

I told her the girl meant nothing and asked not to break up and agreed to go to therapy with her. But, I lied in therapy for about a year. She found out about the lying and kicked me out.

Definitely not a dead bedroom situation - we had sex multiple times a week. I had two kids with her while I was sleeping with various other women over 3-4 years.

Wow, did you divorce? Get treated for sex addiction?

Diagnosed as a sex addict but refused to go to treatment. Also promised to start AA, but that only lasted about a week. Later diagnosed as bipolar, but didn't like my medications, so I didn't take them regularly. Don't really think bipolar is the right diagnosis anyway.

Yes, we divorced.

Sorry this sounds like a big mess. I hope things get better for you.

Sadly people who voluntarily seek mental health treatment before their lives blow up and or who take medication because they think they have a problem and medication would help aren’t usually the people with the biggest mental health challenges.

The people who most need the help are the people who think they “don’t really have a problem” or the “diagnosis is wrong” or the meds “make me feel off”…

As they say “mentally unwell people don’t know they are unwell”

Stay single and don’t have kids and you are only hurting yourself, and there is no shame in that. Wishing you well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Text message
No DB at home
Yes, lied about it

DB-what does this mean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Text message
No DB at home
Yes, lied about it

DB-what does this mean?

Dead bedroom

[Anonymous]

She saw an old text. But we were definitely in a dead bedroom. No sex in the past 3 years, about twice a year for the 5 years prior to those 3.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married sex 2-3x a week. Assumed my AP was having sex with his wife even though he said he was not. Turns out he was hooking up 2-3x a year with a long term partner I didn't know about. As the AP I was fine with him having sex with his wife - continuing with the 3rd person really broke my heart.

A cheater cheated on you. I think that's called karma.

Karma --- sort of nice to know it's real.

You both should stop using a religious principle you know nothing about to make yourself feel better for the cheaters that have hurt you.

[Anonymous]

Curious question for the cheaters, how long did you wait until you started dating again after a long marriage and divorce?