Men, if you cheated in the past and got caught?

Anonymous
How did you get caught? and were you really not sleeping with the wife and it was a 'dead bedroom' situation? or did you lie about it? Wondering how frequently men actually lie about it.
Anonymous
I am not a man and no cheating in my marriage (now divorced) but dead bedrooms are real. We had separate bedrooms from when I was 35-42 when we divorced. We had sex once in that entire timeframe.

He would have been telling the truth if there was cheating. I know 3 other marriages like mine was.

I think this is the most common cause of cheating. Most people are not narcissistic serial cheaters.
Anonymous
Text message

Had sex 2-3x a week at home
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I am not a man and no cheating in my marriage (now divorced) but dead bedrooms are real. We had separate bedrooms from when I was 35-42 when we divorced. We had sex once in that entire timeframe.

He would have been telling the truth if there was cheating. I know 3 other marriages like mine was.

I think this is the most common cause of cheating. Most people are not narcissistic serial cheaters.


So wrong
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I am not a man and no cheating in my marriage (now divorced) but dead bedrooms are real. We had separate bedrooms from when I was 35-42 when we divorced. We had sex once in that entire timeframe.

He would have been telling the truth if there was cheating. I know 3 other marriages like mine was.

I think this is the most common cause of cheating. Most people are not narcissistic serial cheaters.


Same. Separate bedrooms, zero sex. Roommates with additional obligations.
Anonymous
I hadn't realized my iPad synced my Facebook messages, so my wife found a bunch pop up when she opened my iPad for a legit reason.

We were having unenthusiastic sex 3-6x a year and fought about the lack of sex. Sleeping in separate bedrooms.

We went to counseling and we are doing great now.
Anonymous
Wife opened a medical record that my doctor sent home. (She pays the bills and opened it thinking it was a bill.). She found out other things to by watching the (joint) cell phone bill and installing a keylogger on her laptop, which I sometimes used.

I told her the girl meant nothing and asked not to break up and agreed to go to therapy with her. But, I lied in therapy for about a year. She found out about the lying and kicked me out.

Definitely not a dead bedroom situation - we had sex multiple times a week. I had two kids with her while I was sleeping with various other women over 3-4 years.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Wife opened a medical record that my doctor sent home. (She pays the bills and opened it thinking it was a bill.). She found out other things to by watching the (joint) cell phone bill and installing a keylogger on her laptop, which I sometimes used.

I told her the girl meant nothing and asked not to break up and agreed to go to therapy with her. But, I lied in therapy for about a year. She found out about the lying and kicked me out.

Definitely not a dead bedroom situation - we had sex multiple times a week. I had two kids with her while I was sleeping with various other women over 3-4 years.


Obviously posted by the ex-DW. Sorry that this happened to you.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am not a man and no cheating in my marriage (now divorced) but dead bedrooms are real. We had separate bedrooms from when I was 35-42 when we divorced. We had sex once in that entire timeframe.

He would have been telling the truth if there was cheating. I know 3 other marriages like mine was.

I think this is the most common cause of cheating. Most people are not narcissistic serial cheaters.


Same. Separate bedrooms, zero sex. Roommates with additional obligations.


I was this, never cheated, eventually got divorce. Healthy, happy in my 50s. Selfish pricks do it, try to draw others into it.
Anonymous
Sex a few times a week with wife. Having cake and eating it too. Being an idiot- typical midlife age stuff.

One mistake with phone when drunk. She caught it before I did. Confessed. Ironically, it was over by then. I had ended it.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Wife opened a medical record that my doctor sent home. (She pays the bills and opened it thinking it was a bill.). She found out other things to by watching the (joint) cell phone bill and installing a keylogger on her laptop, which I sometimes used.

I told her the girl meant nothing and asked not to break up and agreed to go to therapy with her. But, I lied in therapy for about a year. She found out about the lying and kicked me out.

Definitely not a dead bedroom situation - we had sex multiple times a week. I had two kids with her while I was sleeping with various other women over 3-4 years.



Wow, did you divorce? Get treated for sex addiction?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Sex a few times a week with wife. Having cake and eating it too. Being an idiot- typical midlife age stuff.

One mistake with phone when drunk. She caught it before I did. Confessed. Ironically, it was over by then. I had ended it.


If you had ended it already, what was the "mistake with phone"? Did she stay with you?
Anonymous
Text message
No DB at home
Yes, lied about it
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Text message
No DB at home
Yes, lied about it

Did the AP know you were having sex with your wife too?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Text message
No DB at home
Yes, lied about it

Did the AP know you were having sex with your wife too?


APs do not really care, I always assume a married person is having sex with their spouse also. It’s silly to think a cheater is not lying or being “faithful” to you.
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