Men, if you cheated in the past and got caught?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wife opened a medical record that my doctor sent home. (She pays the bills and opened it thinking it was a bill.). She found out other things to by watching the (joint) cell phone bill and installing a keylogger on her laptop, which I sometimes used.

I told her the girl meant nothing and asked not to break up and agreed to go to therapy with her. But, I lied in therapy for about a year. She found out about the lying and kicked me out.

Definitely not a dead bedroom situation - we had sex multiple times a week. I had two kids with her while I was sleeping with various other women over 3-4 years.

How do you install a keylogger? I assume you have to know their computer password to get in first?

I didn't/don't know anything about computers or keyloggers. As I said above, I was contacting other women on her laptop, so her getting the password wasn't an issue.

Wow. That's pretty brazen to be contacting other women on her laptop!!! LOL.

Brazen is one word for it.

NP. It's very annoying that you keep impersonating your ex husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wife opened a medical record that my doctor sent home. (She pays the bills and opened it thinking it was a bill.). She found out other things to by watching the (joint) cell phone bill and installing a keylogger on her laptop, which I sometimes used.

I told her the girl meant nothing and asked not to break up and agreed to go to therapy with her. But, I lied in therapy for about a year. She found out about the lying and kicked me out.

Definitely not a dead bedroom situation - we had sex multiple times a week. I had two kids with her while I was sleeping with various other women over 3-4 years.

How do you install a keylogger? I assume you have to know their computer password to get in first?

I didn't/don't know anything about computers or keyloggers. As I said above, I was contacting other women on her laptop, so her getting the password wasn't an issue.

Wow. That's pretty brazen to be contacting other women on her laptop!!! LOL.

Brazen is one word for it.

NP. It's very annoying that you keep impersonating your ex husband.

Huh? I don’t have an ex husband

[Anonymous]

Man here. Married 20+ years. Married sex 1x week. I want more, she does not. So I have had long-term affairs for at least ten years. I got caught once, confessed and went to counseling. We are still married and I still have 2 long term affairs. I am better at not getting caught, although I really think my wife does not want to know. She questions things less. I am not sure my APs care that I sleep with my wife. They do not know about each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man here. Married 20+ years. Married sex 1x week. I want more, she does not. So I have had long-term affairs for at least ten years. I got caught once, confessed and went to counseling. We are still married and I still have 2 long term affairs. I am better at not getting caught, although I really think my wife does not want to know. She questions things less. I am not sure my APs care that I sleep with my wife. They do not know about each other.

Why not try to have more sex at home??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man here. Married 20+ years. Married sex 1x week. I want more, she does not. So I have had long-term affairs for at least ten years. I got caught once, confessed and went to counseling. We are still married and I still have 2 long term affairs. I am better at not getting caught, although I really think my wife does not want to know. She questions things less. I am not sure my APs care that I sleep with my wife. They do not know about each other.

I was the wife in a very similar situation and in my case, it wasn't that I didn't want to know, it was that I was busy biding my time and making my exit plans. Soon after finding out my then-husband was cheating on me (and had been for years, with multiple women) I called a lawyer and discovered that the state I lived in wasn't going to take his adultery into consideration in terms of support and that I was in no financial position to take care of my kids and myself at that point in my life. So I sat down and made a plan and spent three years checking boxes until I had the things I needed to make a life outside my marriage. Did I know he was actively sleeping with several women throughout it all? Of course I did, I wasn't an idiot. But I had turned a page and I had my own things to take care of. So I did what I had to do in order to create the life I wanted, which included going through the motions of a marriage I had no interest in actually being in. I have no idea if he ever knew what I was up to and honestly, I don't care. All I care about is that when I filed for divorce I did it with the full knowledge that I would be ok and be able to support my kids and myself regardless of what choices he made.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man here. Married 20+ years. Married sex 1x week. I want more, she does not. So I have had long-term affairs for at least ten years. I got caught once, confessed and went to counseling. We are still married and I still have 2 long term affairs. I am better at not getting caught, although I really think my wife does not want to know. She questions things less. I am not sure my APs care that I sleep with my wife. They do not know about each other.

You’re living the life. What’s nice is that not one of your APs has to completely fill the void. Plus since you’re used to juggling them anyway, if you come across some hottie who is an upgrade you can drop one of the APs for the hottie, and keep the other one just in case. So you’re never alone. Smart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here. Married 20+ years. Married sex 1x week. I want more, she does not. So I have had long-term affairs for at least ten years. I got caught once, confessed and went to counseling. We are still married and I still have 2 long term affairs. I am better at not getting caught, although I really think my wife does not want to know. She questions things less. I am not sure my APs care that I sleep with my wife. They do not know about each other.

You’re living the life. What’s nice is that not one of your APs has to completely fill the void. Plus since you’re used to juggling them anyway, if you come across some hottie who is an upgrade you can drop one of the APs for the hottie, and keep the other one just in case. So you’re never alone. Smart.

Disgusting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wife opened a medical record that my doctor sent home. (She pays the bills and opened it thinking it was a bill.). She found out other things to by watching the (joint) cell phone bill and installing a keylogger on her laptop, which I sometimes used.

I told her the girl meant nothing and asked not to break up and agreed to go to therapy with her. But, I lied in therapy for about a year. She found out about the lying and kicked me out.

Definitely not a dead bedroom situation - we had sex multiple times a week. I had two kids with her while I was sleeping with various other women over 3-4 years.

How do you install a keylogger? I assume you have to know their computer password to get in first?

I didn't/don't know anything about computers or keyloggers. As I said above, I was contacting other women on her laptop, so her getting the password wasn't an issue.

The level of disrespect here is just disturbing. You can't even cheat with out using her property to do it? What *can* you do for yourself? What a pathetic human being, to not only cheat on a partner (which is one of the lowest of low-integrity moves), but to use your partner's things to do it.

Absolutely ridiculous, and so immature!

[Anonymous]

For the men who have cheated, do you tend to juggle more than 1 AP at a time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For the men who have cheated, do you tend to juggle more than 1 AP at a time?

Most can’t handle the demands of the AP they have- any extracurriculars are mostly along the lines of a ONS at a conference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here. Married 20+ years. Married sex 1x week. I want more, she does not. So I have had long-term affairs for at least ten years. I got caught once, confessed and went to counseling. We are still married and I still have 2 long term affairs. I am better at not getting caught, although I really think my wife does not want to know. She questions things less. I am not sure my APs care that I sleep with my wife. They do not know about each other.

I was the wife in a very similar situation and in my case, it wasn't that I didn't want to know, it was that I was busy biding my time and making my exit plans. Soon after finding out my then-husband was cheating on me (and had been for years, with multiple women) I called a lawyer and discovered that the state I lived in wasn't going to take his adultery into consideration in terms of support and that I was in no financial position to take care of my kids and myself at that point in my life. So I sat down and made a plan and spent three years checking boxes until I had the things I needed to make a life outside my marriage. Did I know he was actively sleeping with several women throughout it all? Of course I did, I wasn't an idiot. But I had turned a page and I had my own things to take care of. So I did what I had to do in order to create the life I wanted, which included going through the motions of a marriage I had no interest in actually being in. I have no idea if he ever knew what I was up to and honestly, I don't care. All I care about is that when I filed for divorce I did it with the full knowledge that I would be ok and be able to support my kids and myself regardless of what choices he made.

Very smart but did he go to counseling for that time you caught him? Did he say he was going to change? Was he taken by surprise when you filed for a divorce?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here. Married 20+ years. Married sex 1x week. I want more, she does not. So I have had long-term affairs for at least ten years. I got caught once, confessed and went to counseling. We are still married and I still have 2 long term affairs. I am better at not getting caught, although I really think my wife does not want to know. She questions things less. I am not sure my APs care that I sleep with my wife. They do not know about each other.

You’re living the life. What’s nice is that not one of your APs has to completely fill the void. Plus since you’re used to juggling them anyway, if you come across some hottie who is an upgrade you can drop one of the APs for the hottie, and keep the other one just in case. So you’re never alone. Smart.

Not long before one of you gets an STD if you haven't already

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here. Married 20+ years. Married sex 1x week. I want more, she does not. So I have had long-term affairs for at least ten years. I got caught once, confessed and went to counseling. We are still married and I still have 2 long term affairs. I am better at not getting caught, although I really think my wife does not want to know. She questions things less. I am not sure my APs care that I sleep with my wife. They do not know about each other.

I was the wife in a very similar situation and in my case, it wasn't that I didn't want to know, it was that I was busy biding my time and making my exit plans. Soon after finding out my then-husband was cheating on me (and had been for years, with multiple women) I called a lawyer and discovered that the state I lived in wasn't going to take his adultery into consideration in terms of support and that I was in no financial position to take care of my kids and myself at that point in my life. So I sat down and made a plan and spent three years checking boxes until I had the things I needed to make a life outside my marriage. Did I know he was actively sleeping with several women throughout it all? Of course I did, I wasn't an idiot. But I had turned a page and I had my own things to take care of. So I did what I had to do in order to create the life I wanted, which included going through the motions of a marriage I had no interest in actually being in. I have no idea if he ever knew what I was up to and honestly, I don't care. All I care about is that when I filed for divorce I did it with the full knowledge that I would be ok and be able to support my kids and myself regardless of what choices he made.

Were you still intimate? How did you do it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man here. Married 20+ years. Married sex 1x week. I want more, she does not. So I have had long-term affairs for at least ten years. I got caught once, confessed and went to counseling. We are still married and I still have 2 long term affairs. I am better at not getting caught, although I really think my wife does not want to know. She questions things less. I am not sure my APs care that I sleep with my wife. They do not know about each other.

Wow. How do you manage to find the time for three women? That is what I want to know.

[Anonymous]

My AP was like this. Sometimes, she would cancel, and then I found out she had someone else over. It was gross. I got rid of her.