Why does my brother and sister in law not talk to my parents or me anymore

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:TLDR

They couldn't take the rambling stories any longer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I very much doubt you got the full story from your parents. Something happened and you were given your mom’s version of it. Your mother has engaged in some magical thinking. There was likely a pattern of such gaslighting behavior over the years and this was the last straw.

+1

[Anonymous]

Your brother is tried of the way his family has treated his wife. He told you the reason. Not agreeing with the reason is not the same as not knowing the reason.

[Anonymous]

Your parents seem, at best, fickle. That's putting it mildly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I very much doubt you got the full story from your parents. Something happened and you were given your mom’s version of it. Your mother has engaged in some magical thinking. There was likely a pattern of such gaslighting behavior over the years and this was the last straw.

This is the right answer. It’s not worth hashing out, there’s no win here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your brother is tried of the way his family has treated his wife. He told you the reason. Not agreeing with the reason is not the same as not knowing the reason.

This! In your own post you clearly stated that your brother told his parents they were fed up with the way they poorly treat his wife. You know the answer yet you are gaslighting pretending to be a victim and have no idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Your brother is being unnecessarily CRUEL.

There could be plenty of legitimate reasons why they'd wish to cut off the family, but it's very cruel to not explain their decision to someone who sincerely doesn't know what went wrong. It's not something a rational, decent, humane person would do.

I hope you can heal and live a happy life without them, OP. I'm sorry.

So what do you do about in-laws who say they have no idea what happened and you have made it perfectly clear what happened? According to my in-laws, they have no idea why their son and I don't speak to them anymore. None whatsoever. And yet we have emails and texts that prove we have explained things and they won't accept it. We're done explaining. It's over. But they keep telling people they sincerely don't know what happened.

[Anonymous]

Your brother gave you an answer, you just didn't like it. Now leave him alone.

[Anonymous]

Can I buy a paragraph?

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Op ? Is this just a troll post?

[Anonymous]

A and B and you are part of the character in this movie.

[Anonymous]

Who "DO" my brother and sister...... Why "DO"

[Anonymous]

So, your parents agreed to sell their house to your brother at a good price.

Then five months later they back out as your mother tells your SIL she doesn’t want to do the deal basically because she thinks your brother and SIL are screwing everyone.

Brother and SIL then give your parents back the $ to cover any money your parents have ever given them to show that they aren’t actually screwing anyone and that your parents are the jerks here. Your parents accept that money.

So, from brother and SIL perspective all the details about financial support are wiped clean bc they paid it back.

All we have left is your stupid mother implying that SIL is a cheat who wants to steal from everyone.

So, yeah, not hard to figure this out. Your mother was a complete fool to insult the mother of her only grandchild.

[Anonymous]

Look up triangulation, aside from everything. You are pitting your self against your brother as much as your parents are stirring the drama with you on their side. Why are the three of you a package deal?

It sounds like there’s lots of money drama, with your parents offering things and then pulling them away. A gift is not a loan. You’re saying they have them a house but at the same time the money was a loan - which is it?

Your brother and his family have had enough with being controlled by purse strings that aren’t even actually there. You’re acting like it’s all one big family, but it’s not your money either.

If YOU want a relationship with your brother, you have to separate yourself from your parents.

I feel like this is probably an ESH but I’d like to hear your brother’s actual side. I can imagine having things promised, making financial plans, only to then have the rug pulled was a huge stressor in his life. My in-laws kind of played this game with us (not exactly, we didn’t borrow money and ended up paying out of pocket for their choices) and I’ll never set foot in their house again.