How do you marry these people?

[Anonymous]

A lot of people feel pressured to get married when their friends and relatives are getting married. The biological clock can be ticking as well, so people decide it's time to marry whoever they are with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people feel pressured to get married when their friends and relatives are getting married. The biological clock can be ticking as well, so people decide it's time to marry whoever they are with.

BS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I settled. I was taught you aren't going to get everything so if he meets 51% of your criteria, that's good enough. He was gentle, kind, stable. Or so I thought. Five years later, after two kids, I learned of his lying and deception. I stuck it out for the kids. Five years later, he has taken off his mask completely and become emotionally abusive towards me. I stay because of the kids. He is mentally unstable but he is a therapist so he will get 50/50 or so I fear. I don't need his money. I outearn him. I need my kids to be protected. I have 385 weeks left. I am doing the best I can.

Watching their father abuse their mother is a horrible way to grow up.

It will undoubtedly scar your children!s ability to choose a healthy partner/relationship.

Please stop saying you are “staying for the kids.”

That decision is damaging your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Narcissists are really good at hiding their behavior. In fact they love bomb in the beginning and do the ultimate bait and switch once you are trapped. It happens a lot. I think once you deal with a narcissist and experience the love bombing it’s easy to spot it in future relationships or when others are experiencing it, but the first time you experience it you feel like you’re in a fairy tale. I didn’t marry one but was in a long term relationship with one, but my best friend did and by year two of marriage and a baby on the way the cracks started to show but she thought they could work through it. By year 4 or so her partner didn’t even try to hide it anymore.

You received your degree to diagnose from google?

Touchy!! Did I hit a nerve? Have you been called a narcissist time and time again by others who aren’t doctors? Hmmm. Well another thing about most narcissists is they believe their selfish thoughts are the only truth and gaslight everyone else around them to make them feel as they are crazy and also have an inflated sense of self worth on top of that, so they are extremely hard to ever get a diagnosis from a doctor because they would never go to one because they think they are fine and are oh so offended when one would even suggest getting help, thus making them extremely hard to treat. Does that sound familiar?

I’ve read many books, discussed with my own therapist who agreed with NPD, as did his own parents and siblings. Regardless, when you live with one they are very easy to spot once they take off the mask.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Narcissists are really good at hiding their behavior. In fact they love bomb in the beginning and do the ultimate bait and switch once you are trapped. It happens a lot. I think once you deal with a narcissist and experience the love bombing it’s easy to spot it in future relationships or when others are experiencing it, but the first time you experience it you feel like you’re in a fairy tale. I didn’t marry one but was in a long term relationship with one, but my best friend did and by year two of marriage and a baby on the way the cracks started to show but she thought they could work through it. By year 4 or so her partner didn’t even try to hide it anymore.

You received your degree to diagnose from google?

Touchy!! Did I hit a nerve? Have you been called a narcissist time and time again by others who aren’t doctors? Hmmm. Well another thing about most narcissists is they believe their selfish thoughts are the only truth and gaslight everyone else around them to make them feel as they are crazy and also have an inflated sense of self worth on top of that, so they are extremely hard to ever get a diagnosis from a doctor because they would never go to one because they think they are fine and are oh so offended when one would even suggest getting help, thus making them extremely hard to treat. Does that sound familiar?

I’ve read many books, discussed with my own therapist who agreed with NPD, as did his own parents and siblings. Regardless, when you live with one they are very easy to spot once they take off the mask.

I suppose when you are one like yourself, you can recognize one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Narcissists are really good at hiding their behavior. In fact they love bomb in the beginning and do the ultimate bait and switch once you are trapped. It happens a lot. I think once you deal with a narcissist and experience the love bombing it’s easy to spot it in future relationships or when others are experiencing it, but the first time you experience it you feel like you’re in a fairy tale. I didn’t marry one but was in a long term relationship with one, but my best friend did and by year two of marriage and a baby on the way the cracks started to show but she thought they could work through it. By year 4 or so her partner didn’t even try to hide it anymore.

You received your degree to diagnose from google?

Touchy!! Did I hit a nerve? Have you been called a narcissist time and time again by others who aren’t doctors? Hmmm. Well another thing about most narcissists is they believe their selfish thoughts are the only truth and gaslight everyone else around them to make them feel as they are crazy and also have an inflated sense of self worth on top of that, so they are extremely hard to ever get a diagnosis from a doctor because they would never go to one because they think they are fine and are oh so offended when one would even suggest getting help, thus making them extremely hard to treat. Does that sound familiar?

I’ve read many books, discussed with my own therapist who agreed with NPD, as did his own parents and siblings. Regardless, when you live with one they are very easy to spot once they take off the mask.

No, never been called one because I don’t engage with psychos who love to use buzzwords.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Narcissists are really good at hiding their behavior. In fact they love bomb in the beginning and do the ultimate bait and switch once you are trapped. It happens a lot. I think once you deal with a narcissist and experience the love bombing it’s easy to spot it in future relationships or when others are experiencing it, but the first time you experience it you feel like you’re in a fairy tale. I didn’t marry one but was in a long term relationship with one, but my best friend did and by year two of marriage and a baby on the way the cracks started to show but she thought they could work through it. By year 4 or so her partner didn’t even try to hide it anymore.

You received your degree to diagnose from google?

Touchy!! Did I hit a nerve? Have you been called a narcissist time and time again by others who aren’t doctors? Hmmm. Well another thing about most narcissists is they believe their selfish thoughts are the only truth and gaslight everyone else around them to make them feel as they are crazy and also have an inflated sense of self worth on top of that, so they are extremely hard to ever get a diagnosis from a doctor because they would never go to one because they think they are fine and are oh so offended when one would even suggest getting help, thus making them extremely hard to treat. Does that sound familiar?

I’ve read many books, discussed with my own therapist who agreed with NPD, as did his own parents and siblings. Regardless, when you live with one they are very easy to spot once they take off the mask.

No- So, you don’t have the knowledge to diagnose and just throw that word around.

[Anonymous]

Long term escalating drug and alcohol use

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Generally the person you see as a jerk has some good points that their partner values. When I look at my friends' husbands, and hear my friends complain about them, their bad points are made quite visible to me. But I know, intellectually, that they are good providers, love their wife and kids (one is indeed the primary parent), and even though they have their bad points (anger management problems, workaholism, two were/are devout anti-abortion Catholic whose wives ended up needing an abortion!)... The good outweighs the bad, for my friends.

My point is that there's a difference between men you wouldn't want to live with, but other women would be fine living with, who are decent human beings at heart; and jerks with no redeeming features who objectively NO ONE would want to live with. The jerks are actually quite rare.

We all have different flaws we're OK with, essentially. My very high-IQ husband has autism, and all the social misunderstandings that come with it. Would YOU tolerate that? Maybe not. I do. He cares a lot for me, even though he also infuriates me.

It's complicated.

This is such a wise post. My husband had anger issues throughout our relationship, but it’s not like it was his only characteristic. There were other things that were important to me and I loved about him, and by the time the anger and belittling behavior actually became intolerable, we had already been married 15 years. I told him it was therapy or I was gone, and he got his act together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Narcissists are really good at hiding their behavior. In fact they love bomb in the beginning and do the ultimate bait and switch once you are trapped. It happens a lot. I think once you deal with a narcissist and experience the love bombing it’s easy to spot it in future relationships or when others are experiencing it, but the first time you experience it you feel like you’re in a fairy tale. I didn’t marry one but was in a long term relationship with one, but my best friend did and by year two of marriage and a baby on the way the cracks started to show but she thought they could work through it. By year 4 or so her partner didn’t even try to hide it anymore.

You received your degree to diagnose from google?

Touchy!! Did I hit a nerve? Have you been called a narcissist time and time again by others who aren’t doctors? Hmmm. Well another thing about most narcissists is they believe their selfish thoughts are the only truth and gaslight everyone else around them to make them feel as they are crazy and also have an inflated sense of self worth on top of that, so they are extremely hard to ever get a diagnosis from a doctor because they would never go to one because they think they are fine and are oh so offended when one would even suggest getting help, thus making them extremely hard to treat. Does that sound familiar?

I’ve read many books, discussed with my own therapist who agreed with NPD, as did his own parents and siblings. Regardless, when you live with one they are very easy to spot once they take off the mask.

I suppose when you are one like yourself, you can recognize one.

Okay so I tell you about my experience with one so that makes me one? Good one 👍🏾

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Narcissists are really good at hiding their behavior. In fact they love bomb in the beginning and do the ultimate bait and switch once you are trapped. It happens a lot. I think once you deal with a narcissist and experience the love bombing it’s easy to spot it in future relationships or when others are experiencing it, but the first time you experience it you feel like you’re in a fairy tale. I didn’t marry one but was in a long term relationship with one, but my best friend did and by year two of marriage and a baby on the way the cracks started to show but she thought they could work through it. By year 4 or so her partner didn’t even try to hide it anymore.

You received your degree to diagnose from google?

Touchy!! Did I hit a nerve? Have you been called a narcissist time and time again by others who aren’t doctors? Hmmm. Well another thing about most narcissists is they believe their selfish thoughts are the only truth and gaslight everyone else around them to make them feel as they are crazy and also have an inflated sense of self worth on top of that, so they are extremely hard to ever get a diagnosis from a doctor because they would never go to one because they think they are fine and are oh so offended when one would even suggest getting help, thus making them extremely hard to treat. Does that sound familiar?

I’ve read many books, discussed with my own therapist who agreed with NPD, as did his own parents and siblings. Regardless, when you live with one they are very easy to spot once they take off the mask.

I suppose when you are one like yourself, you can recognize one.

Okay so I tell you about my experience with one so that makes me one? Good one 👍🏾

Because you don’t have the ability to diagnose and just saying someone is.
If you can diagnose, so can we diagnose you as one. 😘

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Narcissists are really good at hiding their behavior. In fact they love bomb in the beginning and do the ultimate bait and switch once you are trapped. It happens a lot. I think once you deal with a narcissist and experience the love bombing it’s easy to spot it in future relationships or when others are experiencing it, but the first time you experience it you feel like you’re in a fairy tale. I didn’t marry one but was in a long term relationship with one, but my best friend did and by year two of marriage and a baby on the way the cracks started to show but she thought they could work through it. By year 4 or so her partner didn’t even try to hide it anymore.

You received your degree to diagnose from google?

Touchy!! Did I hit a nerve? Have you been called a narcissist time and time again by others who aren’t doctors? Hmmm. Well another thing about most narcissists is they believe their selfish thoughts are the only truth and gaslight everyone else around them to make them feel as they are crazy and also have an inflated sense of self worth on top of that, so they are extremely hard to ever get a diagnosis from a doctor because they would never go to one because they think they are fine and are oh so offended when one would even suggest getting help, thus making them extremely hard to treat. Does that sound familiar?

I’ve read many books, discussed with my own therapist who agreed with NPD, as did his own parents and siblings. Regardless, when you live with one they are very easy to spot once they take off the mask.

No- So, you don’t have the knowledge to diagnose and just throw that word around.

A textbook narcissist is a textbook narcissist. If someone shows consistent classic signs of depression, they are depressed whether they are officially diagnosed or not. You don’t need to be offended by that, especially when it has nothing to do with you. There is no reason for you to argue with me what I experienced and even name call unless you need clout and +1’s from random internet friends. Unless….

For some reason my post sharing my experience of being a victim of narcissism (a real thing) really offended you. Why? Another trait of a narcissist is lack of empathy. Just sayin.

And oh the irony that you can’t let it go that I’m not a doctor and can’t officially diagnose, yet you call me a psycho.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Narcissists are really good at hiding their behavior. In fact they love bomb in the beginning and do the ultimate bait and switch once you are trapped. It happens a lot. I think once you deal with a narcissist and experience the love bombing it’s easy to spot it in future relationships or when others are experiencing it, but the first time you experience it you feel like you’re in a fairy tale. I didn’t marry one but was in a long term relationship with one, but my best friend did and by year two of marriage and a baby on the way the cracks started to show but she thought they could work through it. By year 4 or so her partner didn’t even try to hide it anymore.

You received your degree to diagnose from google?

Touchy!! Did I hit a nerve? Have you been called a narcissist time and time again by others who aren’t doctors? Hmmm. Well another thing about most narcissists is they believe their selfish thoughts are the only truth and gaslight everyone else around them to make them feel as they are crazy and also have an inflated sense of self worth on top of that, so they are extremely hard to ever get a diagnosis from a doctor because they would never go to one because they think they are fine and are oh so offended when one would even suggest getting help, thus making them extremely hard to treat. Does that sound familiar?

I’ve read many books, discussed with my own therapist who agreed with NPD, as did his own parents and siblings. Regardless, when you live with one they are very easy to spot once they take off the mask.

I suppose when you are one like yourself, you can recognize one.

Okay so I tell you about my experience with one so that makes me one? Good one 👍🏾

Because you don’t have the ability to diagnose and just saying someone is.
If you can diagnose, so can we diagnose you as one. 😘

Go ahead and diagnose me, random internet stranger. Enjoy 🥰🥰🥰

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Narcissists are really good at hiding their behavior. In fact they love bomb in the beginning and do the ultimate bait and switch once you are trapped. It happens a lot. I think once you deal with a narcissist and experience the love bombing it’s easy to spot it in future relationships or when others are experiencing it, but the first time you experience it you feel like you’re in a fairy tale. I didn’t marry one but was in a long term relationship with one, but my best friend did and by year two of marriage and a baby on the way the cracks started to show but she thought they could work through it. By year 4 or so her partner didn’t even try to hide it anymore.

You received your degree to diagnose from google?

Touchy!! Did I hit a nerve? Have you been called a narcissist time and time again by others who aren’t doctors? Hmmm. Well another thing about most narcissists is they believe their selfish thoughts are the only truth and gaslight everyone else around them to make them feel as they are crazy and also have an inflated sense of self worth on top of that, so they are extremely hard to ever get a diagnosis from a doctor because they would never go to one because they think they are fine and are oh so offended when one would even suggest getting help, thus making them extremely hard to treat. Does that sound familiar?

I’ve read many books, discussed with my own therapist who agreed with NPD, as did his own parents and siblings. Regardless, when you live with one they are very easy to spot once they take off the mask.

No- So, you don’t have the knowledge to diagnose and just throw that word around.

A textbook narcissist is a textbook narcissist. If someone shows consistent classic signs of depression, they are depressed whether they are officially diagnosed or not. You don’t need to be offended by that, especially when it has nothing to do with you. There is no reason for you to argue with me what I experienced and even name call unless you need clout and +1’s from random internet friends. Unless….

For some reason my post sharing my experience of being a victim of narcissism (a real thing) really offended you. Why? Another trait of a narcissist is lack of empathy. Just sayin.

And oh the irony that you can’t let it go that I’m not a doctor and can’t officially diagnose, yet you call me a psycho.

Glad you see the irony. That was the point, honey. I mean Dr Google.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Narcissists are really good at hiding their behavior. In fact they love bomb in the beginning and do the ultimate bait and switch once you are trapped. It happens a lot. I think once you deal with a narcissist and experience the love bombing it’s easy to spot it in future relationships or when others are experiencing it, but the first time you experience it you feel like you’re in a fairy tale. I didn’t marry one but was in a long term relationship with one, but my best friend did and by year two of marriage and a baby on the way the cracks started to show but she thought they could work through it. By year 4 or so her partner didn’t even try to hide it anymore.

You received your degree to diagnose from google?

Touchy!! Did I hit a nerve? Have you been called a narcissist time and time again by others who aren’t doctors? Hmmm. Well another thing about most narcissists is they believe their selfish thoughts are the only truth and gaslight everyone else around them to make them feel as they are crazy and also have an inflated sense of self worth on top of that, so they are extremely hard to ever get a diagnosis from a doctor because they would never go to one because they think they are fine and are oh so offended when one would even suggest getting help, thus making them extremely hard to treat. Does that sound familiar?

I’ve read many books, discussed with my own therapist who agreed with NPD, as did his own parents and siblings. Regardless, when you live with one they are very easy to spot once they take off the mask.

No, never been called one because I don’t engage with psychos who love to use buzzwords.

NP here. There are many behavioral similarities and much crossover between ASD and narcissism. I think this geographic area attracts both, as well as those who are socially off, but describe themselves as "introverted". So, what some people might tolerate in this area, others would not tolerate in other areas. That, and those with more choices tend to filter out more and have more discretion.

In other words, some people choose to overlook certain qualities and deficiencies, for their own conveniences.