my husband said something yesterday that broke my heart

[Anonymous]

This is unacceptable and sad. There is no reason he has gotten to this point. They are literally giving away weight loss medication to people. He needs to up his dose or switch brands. You all need to exercise together. Go shopping together. Yes people are staring. People stare at people or things that are different. That is natural.

[Anonymous]

First of all, its a lesson for all to be kind to others, your looks, laughs, whispers, vibe can ruin other humans self esteem.

Second, you are a good person and spouse so he is lucky to have you by his side.

Third, get him to get annual physical check ups where doctor would make sure he is healthy or give him tools to get there.

Fourth, help him with his clothing and grooming without making it feel critical.

Fifth, If he is interested is therapy to avoid depression that's good but otherwise get a few books on the topic.

Sixth, he is a grown man and you aren't responsible for his choices so feel sympathy and offer support but don't feel guilt.

Seventh, teach your kids kindness so they are the kind of people who don't make others feel worthless and inferior.

One good or bad person can reset the vibe around them for good or bad. Lets set the vibe for good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is unacceptable and sad. There is no reason he has gotten to this point. They are literally giving away weight loss medication to people. He needs to up his dose or switch brands. You all need to exercise together. Go shopping together. Yes people are staring. People stare at people or things that are different. That is natural.

Hm... I don't think staring is ever acceptable when it comes to people's appearance.

[Anonymous]

*most importantly try to gradually change diet for whole family to add healthier options and avoid unhealthy ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That hurts to read OP . OP people are CRUEL especially here in the DC area. I have an autoimmune disease that has disfigured me not only have they make fun of me for "still" wearing a mask out (they have even fake coughed and laughed looking right at me) they have commented/asked me about my looks, like "what happened to you..." SOOOO rude.

There is something really wrong with those people and their hearts--tell him that it is them not him. I always wonder if some day these people will get to experience what we do I think that is the only way they will ever "get" it because it seems like they're not smart enough to understand otherwise.

So true. I am in a similar situation and an old friend actually posted a diatribe on my FB wall demanding that I post “proof” of my medical condition on social media or everyone would assume I’m a liar. I declined to attend an event in our friend group.

I blocked her. People like this are toxic and best blocked no matter how hot they are.

Not OP but yikes, PP. Glad the person showed their true colors so unmistakably so you could remove them from your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing to add, just that you sound like an awesome wife.

+100

I’m an overweight husband. I’m working on it, I love my wife and kids so much. But it’s hard.

OP, you sound like such a good soul. It sort of stopped me in my tracks. Wishing you and your husband the best.

I do agree with swapping out something too small or otherwise not great looking with a new “version” that’s nice and fits better. That always feels good. You may need to do it for him, just make it a good/happy thing.

But honestly, from my perspective, what you’re already doing is most important. Even if he has a sadness that’s never going away (which I think most obese people have), we all have our hardships. Knowing he’s got your love, support, concern without judgment… that’s everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing to add, just that you sound like an awesome wife.

Was just coming to say this! OP you are an amazing person. Your husband is lucky to have you.

[Anonymous]

He’s the Captain of his own ship. He can continue being large or do something about it.

[Anonymous]

I am sorry. Fwiw, I would much rather be you or your husband than the jerks who look at him judgmentally. You sound like you have a very supportive, loving relationship. And not a lot of people have that.

[Anonymous]

Ozempic and TRT will straighten him out.

[Anonymous]

This is OP and I just want to say thank you again to people who shared their thoughts and their own stories.

My husband and I really do love each other. We have issues, plenty of issues, but it's backed by a lot of support and love. I feel grateful for that every single day, and I hope that I give him as much support as he gives me.

He seems happy. Maybe that's what made this most surprising. I would have thought someone who felt what he expressed to me yesterday would seem more depressed or unhappy. But he seems happy. He says he is happy.

I have a therapist of my own, who I will probably talk to about this. And I hope my husband will talk to his therapist about it, too.

Anyway - thank you. Really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ozempic and TRT will straighten him out.

Wait five years the number of zombie looking people walking around will be alarming.

Plus this isn’t a permanent fix. The overall 1-2 year results aren’t that impressive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Bariatric surgery will be his solution.

I had the gastric band and it has changed my life for the better. I’m fit and take no meds. I exercise and watch what I eat.

Even if insurance were to cover it as things are right now he's not a great candidate for surgery. He seems unlikely to complete the pre or post op steps and would likely end up regaining wait.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am sorry. Fwiw, I would much rather be you or your husband than the jerks who look at him judgmentally. You sound like you have a very supportive, loving relationship. And not a lot of people have that.

Nobody is staring at him or laughing at him. It's all in his head.

[Anonymous]

Why should he care about the kind of person laughing at someone for being overweight? Most people I know are nothing like that except the most obnoxious ones we try to avoid.