Best Friend Pressuring Me To Invite Quasi Friend to My Wedding

[Anonymous]

Nice job! I would definitely reconsider inviting the tacky one.

[Anonymous]

Your friend doesn't get to pressure you about anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nice job! I would definitely reconsider inviting the tacky one.

She calls "the tacky one" her best friend. But is very quick to consider disinviting this supposedly best friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nice job! I would definitely reconsider inviting the tacky one.

She calls "the tacky one" her best friend. But is very quick to consider disinviting this supposedly best friend.

NP
I see where they are coming from. This seemed like such a forceful and rude ask (all of us want HER there). I would be offended and worried they'd pull something petty like pouting about missing her the whole time. It's not the supportive vibes you want at your wedding. If op has any other misgivings about this friend, it may be better to distance herself.

[Anonymous]

Of course Jill wants to come to a big, fun party where a bunch of her friends will be. But it is your wedding, you pick the guest list! You don’t need to bring up ancient history about her being mean in high school. Tell childhood BFF the guest list is set, you have limited numbers, you wish nothing but the best for Jill but she can’t come. You can’t uninvite BFF though, that is horrible tacky and would make you look unhinged. Maybe encourage her to have a party sometime and invite you both!!

My college boyfriend emailed me to beg to be invited to my wedding. I invited all of our group of friends, but not him. We dated for 2+ years and were cordial after the breakup, but certainly not friends and he had never met fiancé. Sorry!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So we're trolling about marriage invites now ?

No one else except you seems to be trolling, no

I'm sorry you fall for everything

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jill wants a free night out with friends, and your best friend is trying to make that happen for her regardless of your feelings.

Do not invite Jill. Keep your BF in the event and drop all other discussion about it.

Your friend does kind of suck though. You all sound young, hope she realizes as she matures that this is wildly inappropriate.

Totally this.

[Anonymous]

Your response is fine.

At my best friend’s wedding, I had an opposite type of response. My friend was inviting Jill, a girl who was awful to me and I really hated. I wished my friend didn’t invite Jill to the wedding. There was also a Beth who both my best friend and I never liked. I couldn’t believe she invited both of them. I honestly think she wanted to show off to them. Who knows.

[Anonymous]

Your best friend shouldn't lobbying you to invite someone you don't like.

She's not your best friend. Or, she's not a very good best friend. It's your wedding. Invite who you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nice job! I would definitely reconsider inviting the tacky one.

She calls "the tacky one" her best friend. But is very quick to consider disinviting this supposedly best friend.

No - best friend from childhood. My best friend from childhood isn't my best friend now. There's no indication that the "BF" is in the wedding, which suggests she isn;t really a BF.

[Anonymous]

Are you asking if you are being too petty by not inviting Jill? Definitely not.

Are you asking if you are being too petty by disinviting the friend who made the inappropriate ask? Yes, and I suspect she is going to decline the invite anyway, so there is no need to be.

[Anonymous]

I would have told my friend that I had a perfectly good reason not to invite the quasi friend, including the fact that she didn’t invite me to her wedding. And I would have demanded that my friend explain her complete rationale why I should bend over forwards and backwards for this woman who would never treat me as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course Jill wants to come to a big, fun party where a bunch of her friends will be. But it is your wedding, you pick the guest list! You don’t need to bring up ancient history about her being mean in high school. Tell childhood BFF the guest list is set, you have limited numbers, you wish nothing but the best for Jill but she can’t come. You can’t uninvite BFF though, that is horrible tacky and would make you look unhinged. Maybe encourage her to have a party sometime and invite you both!!

My college boyfriend emailed me to beg to be invited to my wedding. I invited all of our group of friends, but not him. We dated for 2+ years and were cordial after the breakup, but certainly not friends and he had never met fiancé. Sorry!!!

She doesn’t need to say she wishes the best for Jill! wtf?!?

[Anonymous]

I would have told my friend politely that it's not appropriate for her to try to dictate who I invite to a special life event that is very expensive to host, and that I would appreciate it if she would drop the subject. Whether you like this woman or your friend tried to get this woman to invite you to her wedding are irrelevant.

[Anonymous]

Ha

I'm a guy and had a very similar experience. There were 5 of us in our HS friend group although I never cared much for one of them, Billy.

Billy got married first of all of us and invited everyone in the group, but me.

No biggee. Made my choice very clear when I got married a year later. Only that another friend in our group was tight with Billy so he invited him to my bachelor party and asked me after the fact to please invite him. I said no and asked him the very same thing OP did.

"Did you ask Billy to invite me to his"?

He actually got it though. Doesn't sound like OP's best friend gets it.