Best Friend Pressuring Me To Invite Quasi Friend to My Wedding

[Anonymous]

Soon to be DH and I are getting married in June. Save the dates went out last week.

My best friend from childhood is also close friends with a quasi friend of mine, Jill. Jill and I are not close but we are civil. She was actually horrible to me in 9th grade, but I've moved past that.

Jill was married last Spring and I was not invited. And never in a million years did I expect to be.

Well, last next my friend calls and says "Got the Save the date, love the card and the font! But listen, I talked to Jill and she didn't get one. I really think it would be big of you if you buried the hatchet and invited her."

I immediately said "Yeeaaah, not gonna happen. I don't care for her"

Friend replies with "C'mon, people will miss her there."

I ask "Did you lobby for an invite for me to her wedding?"

And she just went silent.

Now I'm thinking of not inviting either of them.

Am I being too petty?

[Anonymous]

You certainly weren’t very mature or gracious.

[Anonymous]

Your response to your best friend was perfect. Just leave it be.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, I would be so pissed. It's like, hey, I don't give a crap about your wedding, I am just going to party with my friends so I want all of my favorite people there whether you like them or not. If she brings it up again, say, "Look, it is not a summons, you are welcome to go do something with Jill that evening instead."

[Anonymous]

No, you keep your invitation for your best friend and don’t invite Jill. You don’t need to give into the pressure and there’s no friendship there. Your best friend being weird.

[Anonymous]

Maybe friend will make Jill her +1?

[Anonymous]

You absolutely didn't have to invite the person, and it was tacky of her to ask, but the way you responded wasn't mature either. JA mature response would be "we've invited the group of close friends that we would like to have at our wedding, and aren't planning to broaden that group at this time. Hope you can make it." Don't disinvite the invited friend at this point, just make it clear that the other person will not be invited, and that you decide who is invited to your wedding.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are fine. Your friend is being sanctimonious on your dime.

I have a friend like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You certainly weren’t very mature or gracious.

Screw that bs.
OP your response was perfect.

[Anonymous]

I think your response was fine. Don't bring it up again.

Honestly, you all sound very young. None of these people will matter to you in a few years.

[Anonymous]

Jill wants a free night out with friends, and your best friend is trying to make that happen for her regardless of your feelings.

Do not invite Jill. Keep your BF in the event and drop all other discussion about it.

Your friend does kind of suck though. You all sound young, hope she realizes as she matures that this is wildly inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your response to your best friend was perfect. Just leave it be.

Completely agree

[Anonymous]

Your friend is tacky.

[Anonymous]

Your response was fine. I would have said the same thing - why on Earth would they expect this of you?? It’s your wedding! You invite who you want to be there!

[Anonymous]

Yep. Jill is not getting an invite. And I would distance myself for your friend. She isn't much of a friend if she pressures you after you were not invited to Jill's wedding.

Ignore her.