I feel like men always treat me like trash

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop doing everything right and going along with it. Men don’t have any respect for women who are kind to them.

This was a hard lesson for me to learn and very difficult for me to implement because I’m a naturally laid back and low maintenance person. But when I did, I started being treated better.

Don’t listen to all the men who are going to say that they don’t like high maintenance, demanding b-ches. They’re lying to you or to themselves.

This is 100% true.

Well actually 99.999% true. Some men aren’t like this but they probably have baggage of their own.

Also, read the book Why Men Love Bit***s. It’s kind of BS but also incredibly helpful.

I second the recommendation for this book.

I cannot recommend this book more. My dating history would have looked completely different if I had read this in my 20s. I approached dating as I approach making friends, and that is simply not the dynamic of dating men. Though the title may be a turn off, it's a really about having self-respect, self-worth, and how to translate that to a man in subtle ways so that he treats you the way you deserve to be treated and how to know when to walk away because that man is incapable of doing so. It was so empowering and helpful in concrete, actionable ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop doing everything right and going along with it. Men don’t have any respect for women who are kind to them.

This was a hard lesson for me to learn and very difficult for me to implement because I’m a naturally laid back and low maintenance person. But when I did, I started being treated better.

Don’t listen to all the men who are going to say that they don’t like high maintenance, demanding b-ches. They’re lying to you or to themselves.

Can you give some examples of what you mean by “stop doing everything right”?

I think I have the same problem as you and OP.

I and another PP recommended why men love b****es above, and you should probably read that. But some things that are probably examples of “doing everything right”:

1. Dropping everything to be with him when he wants you to

2. Cooking/baking for him a lot or too soon

3. Doing his laundry or cleaning his house

4. Letting him get away with saying something rude, ever.

5. Being willing to accept huge flaws like drinking too much, being unemployable, etc.

6. Smoothing over situations by readily accepting blame or apologizing a lot.

7. Asking for respect and good treatment verbally (as though it’s negotiable), or stooping to explaining to him why something is disrespectful acceptable.

8. Not maintaining your own friends, interests, etc. Being too available for a man. You want a man to be a part of your life, not the main plot.

9. Changing your interests or personality for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I could have written this myself. I feel very similar. Many guys have ghosted me or said they want an exclusive relationship and ended up cheating. It’s probably similar for men too and just overall really frustrating. Where are the nice guys?

Nice guys aren’t interested in women who don’t have a strong enough sense of self to “do everything right.”

I am over generalizing here, but I say this because after several bad relationships (not as bad as yours but definitely not good), I read Why Men Love B****es and married a nice guy one year later. I didn’t teach me how to find a nice guy, it taught me to stop being desperate. After that I attracted a different kind of man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The more you reveal you like or care about a man, the worse he'll treat you.

This is sadly often true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I could have written this myself. I feel very similar. Many guys have ghosted me or said they want an exclusive relationship and ended up cheating. It’s probably similar for men too and just overall really frustrating. Where are the nice guys?

I have never been ghosted or cheated on. I personally thing that men who do this give signs they will do this that you should heed. Not talking about someone who has an affair after many years of marriage bc it seems like that could happen to a lot of people who get blindsided.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could have written this myself. I feel very similar. Many guys have ghosted me or said they want an exclusive relationship and ended up cheating. It’s probably similar for men too and just overall really frustrating. Where are the nice guys?

I have never been ghosted or cheated on. I personally thing that men who do this give signs they will do this that you should heed. Not talking about someone who has an affair after many years of marriage bc it seems like that could happen to a lot of people who get blindsided.

I’ve never been ghosted or cheated on either but I disagree with you. Soooo many men (and women!) just straight up lie to get what they want. They are excellent actors. They tend to go after people who are more vulnerable/desperate, but even the most confident, level-headed women can get cheated on.

[Anonymous]

Are you putting out too soon?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you putting out too soon?

If a man is the type to discard women because they "put out" too soon that's not the type of man a woman should be dating. Womem should stop be given advice that basically asks them to put up with hypocrisy.

[Anonymous]

Where are you meeting men?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you putting out too soon?

If a man is the type to discard women because they "put out" too soon that's not the type of man a woman should be dating. Womem should stop be given advice that basically asks them to put up with hypocrisy.

I agree, unless the woman is having sex mostly because the guy wants it and she wants to keep him happy. That’s desperate and shows a lack of self-respect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I keep feeling used and discarded like trash. I think that I’m doing everything right or going along with what they’re giving me and then next thing I know I’m ghosted or just treated like trash.

I feel you likely select trash men. Try meeting and going out with nicer men who will treat you better. Your choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop doing everything right and going along with it. Men don’t have any respect for women who are kind to them.

This was a hard lesson for me to learn and very difficult for me to implement because I’m a naturally laid back and low maintenance person. But when I did, I started being treated better.

Don’t listen to all the men who are going to say that they don’t like high maintenance, demanding b-ches. They’re lying to you or to themselves.

Yep, men like a little difficulty. They also like slightly catty women, despite what they say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop doing everything right and going along with it. Men don’t have any respect for women who are kind to them.

This was a hard lesson for me to learn and very difficult for me to implement because I’m a naturally laid back and low maintenance person. But when I did, I started being treated better.

Don’t listen to all the men who are going to say that they don’t like high maintenance, demanding b-ches. They’re lying to you or to themselves.

News flash (apparently): Men don't like high maintenance and demanding bltches. It's just that attractive women are proportionally high maintenance and demanding bltches, so guys put up with that crap because they're hot.

Another news flash: Men DO have respect for women who are kind to them. You should try it sometime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I feel you likely select trash men. Try meeting and going out with nicer men who will treat you better. Your choice.

Exactly. Pick better men, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop doing everything right and going along with it. Men don’t have any respect for women who are kind to them.

This was a hard lesson for me to learn and very difficult for me to implement because I’m a naturally laid back and low maintenance person. But when I did, I started being treated better.

Don’t listen to all the men who are going to say that they don’t like high maintenance, demanding b-ches. They’re lying to you or to themselves.

Yep, men like a little difficulty. They also like slightly catty women, despite what they say.

Implement what, PP - being unkind to men? WTF. I think being independent is great, but unkind or catty? That’s ridiculous.