| I keep feeling used and discarded like trash. I think that I’m doing everything right or going along with what they’re giving me and then next thing I know I’m ghosted or just treated like trash. |
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You are too easy and desperate and it shows.
Work to improve yourself and have self respect. |
| I have a thirty year old female friend like this. Honestly, it is past sad, it is pathetic. She is clingy, too easy, desperate and it shows. Always cheated on, or used up and disguarded. She has to mature but i do not see it. |
| Daddy issues. I got them after my parents separated at 40. I felt a clingy desperate need to be loved by a man any man. Usually I'm incredibly strong and guarded but god this feeling is like no other. |
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Stop doing everything right and going along with it. Men don’t have any respect for women who are kind to them.
This was a hard lesson for me to learn and very difficult for me to implement because I’m a naturally laid back and low maintenance person. But when I did, I started being treated better. Don’t listen to all the men who are going to say that they don’t like high maintenance, demanding b-ches. They’re lying to you or to themselves. |
This is 100% true. Well actually 99.999% true. Some men aren’t like this but they probably have baggage of their own. |
| Don't get on the date apps btw. Those fujkboys have a ton of options |
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You need to get a life -- literally. Have your own life -- enjoy pursuing your career and hobbies, have accomplishments, set lofty goals, volunteer in your community. Make and/or nurture close friendships. Take really great care of yourself -- exercise, cook healthy food, learn a mindfulness practice, up your style and beauty for yourself, not for anyone else. Spend some time being creative -- for ideas you could: take dance, take cooking classes, write stories, learn guitar, get the book "Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain" and follow it, plan a garden. And then this is key: get a therapist or life coach and tell them you want support gaining confidence.
When you have done all this, and feel secure in your skin, and confident that you have a great life and you know you have infinite value -- then you can date again. And I don't think you will continue to have the same problem. |
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Men have always treated me well.
A big part of that is that I never gave the time of day to men who didn’t treat me well. If you’re focused on the guys who treat you like trash, the guys who would treat you well are all cut off from your line of sight. You only have so many hours in the day. If you devote them to trash guys you’ll have zero time for quality guys. It really is that simple. |
Also, read the book Why Men Love Bit***s. It’s kind of BS but also incredibly helpful. |
I second the recommendation for this book. |
Even the kindest people who believe that they at least try to treat everyone with respect can’t help but take for granted those who are good to them, and chase those who aren’t. It’s an unfortunate part of human nature. You don’t have to treat men cruelly, but trying really hard to be perfect and accommodating will get you nowhere. |
Stop going along with everything they are giving you. It's okay to have boundaries and standards. Note this is not the same as being a beeyotch and please don't take that advice. It's dated dangerous and absolves men of the responsibility of their behavior and opens up new relationship problems and dynamics. You have to adopt the mindset that you don't need a man to be a complete or valuable person. The only guy worth having is one who adds value to your life and I don't mean financially. Once you do this things will turn around. For you. |
A lot of men are trash themselves, so it makes sense that they treat others that way. There is no way to avoid this, so do what makes you happy. Center yourself. They certainly do! Find a man who wants that, if you want to be happy without doing some stupid pick me dance. |
Let’s say one day you meet a man who loves this, loves that you do “everything” right or go along with what they give you. Could you sustain it and be happy? Do you want a man to love you the way you are, or the way you present yourself to “catch” the man? Be yourself, and be someone you would love to be around. |