I feel like men always treat me like trash

[Anonymous]

You must be coming across as insecure and needy. Players use you and move on and decent guys see you as insecure and needy.

[Anonymous]

Can we stop making dating sound like a blood sport? Yes, it is somewhat a game at the beginning, but everyone has insecurities and the right person for OP will make it easy to calm down and be herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are too easy and desperate and it shows.
Work to improve yourself and have self respect.

It baffles me how only women are called "easy". First, we don't know what the OP is actually doing as she's not very descriptive, second, the type of men who discard women for being "easy" are easy themselves and no woman with self-respect should be dating them at all.

As for you OP, we have no idea what's going on. It can be anything for desperation to commitment issues on your part that make you focus on men who won't stay. It's also possible you're failing to read the cues that the guy is not very interested in you, but it's impossible to tell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to get a life -- literally. Have your own life -- enjoy pursuing your career and hobbies, have accomplishments, set lofty goals, volunteer in your community. Make and/or nurture close friendships. Take really great care of yourself -- exercise, cook healthy food, learn a mindfulness practice, up your style and beauty for yourself, not for anyone else. Spend some time being creative -- for ideas you could: take dance, take cooking classes, write stories, learn guitar, get the book "Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain" and follow it, plan a garden. And then this is key: get a therapist or life coach and tell them you want support gaining confidence.

When you have done all this, and feel secure in your skin, and confident that you have a great life and you know you have infinite value -- then you can date again. And I don't think you will continue to have the same problem.

Sometimes there's no time. Women especially have a ticking bio clock. Men take all the time in the world

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to get a life -- literally. Have your own life -- enjoy pursuing your career and hobbies, have accomplishments, set lofty goals, volunteer in your community. Make and/or nurture close friendships. Take really great care of yourself -- exercise, cook healthy food, learn a mindfulness practice, up your style and beauty for yourself, not for anyone else. Spend some time being creative -- for ideas you could: take dance, take cooking classes, write stories, learn guitar, get the book "Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain" and follow it, plan a garden. And then this is key: get a therapist or life coach and tell them you want support gaining confidence.

When you have done all this, and feel secure in your skin, and confident that you have a great life and you know you have infinite value -- then you can date again. And I don't think you will continue to have the same problem.

Sometimes there's no time. Women especially have a ticking bio clock. Men take all the time in the world

Are you OP? If you're not, you're assuming that the OP wants children and suggesting that having children with just anybody is better than having none. This kind of assumptions is what often contributes to women being desperate and accept any kind of treatment (even if that's not necessarily OP's case.)

[Anonymous]

Quit dating sharp-dressed handsome types. Find someone who considers you out of his league and will be a little grateful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to get a life -- literally. Have your own life -- enjoy pursuing your career and hobbies, have accomplishments, set lofty goals, volunteer in your community. Make and/or nurture close friendships. Take really great care of yourself -- exercise, cook healthy food, learn a mindfulness practice, up your style and beauty for yourself, not for anyone else. Spend some time being creative -- for ideas you could: take dance, take cooking classes, write stories, learn guitar, get the book "Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain" and follow it, plan a garden. And then this is key: get a therapist or life coach and tell them you want support gaining confidence.

When you have done all this, and feel secure in your skin, and confident that you have a great life and you know you have infinite value -- then you can date again. And I don't think you will continue to have the same problem.

Sometimes there's no time. Women especially have a ticking bio clock. Men take all the time in the world

No time to develop self respect? You think it is better that OP continue on this path she is on and let men treat her like trash so she can eventually have a kid with one of them? Because of that ticking clock? Not smart. At all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to get a life -- literally. Have your own life -- enjoy pursuing your career and hobbies, have accomplishments, set lofty goals, volunteer in your community. Make and/or nurture close friendships. Take really great care of yourself -- exercise, cook healthy food, learn a mindfulness practice, up your style and beauty for yourself, not for anyone else. Spend some time being creative -- for ideas you could: take dance, take cooking classes, write stories, learn guitar, get the book "Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain" and follow it, plan a garden. And then this is key: get a therapist or life coach and tell them you want support gaining confidence.

When you have done all this, and feel secure in your skin, and confident that you have a great life and you know you have infinite value -- then you can date again. And I don't think you will continue to have the same problem.

Sometimes there's no time. Women especially have a ticking bio clock. Men take all the time in the world

No time to develop self respect? You think it is better that OP continue on this path she is on and let men treat her like trash so she can eventually have a kid with one of them? Because of that ticking clock? Not smart. At all.

It's not smart but she has to be selfish in a way herself. Men like to waste women's time and women should be using these men right back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Quit dating sharp-dressed handsome types. Find someone who considers you out of his league and will be a little grateful.

This.

Also, get off line. Meet men in real life to date, not online.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Daddy issues. I got them after my parents separated at 40. I felt a clingy desperate need to be loved by a man any man. Usually I'm incredibly strong and guarded but god this feeling is like no other.

When your parents were 40 or when YOU were 40, PP?

Jesus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Quit dating sharp-dressed handsome types. Find someone who considers you out of his league and will be a little grateful.

NP-Yes, these guys are grateful for a few months. After a while, they thinking of you like any other gf and the special treatment ends. Then you're stuck with a guy you're not interested in who doesn't treat you particularly well. He might even be nasty and resentful if you out-earn him.

Hard pass. Better to find a quality guy with character.

[Anonymous]

The more you reveal you like or care about a man, the worse he'll treat you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop doing everything right and going along with it. Men don’t have any respect for women who are kind to them.

This was a hard lesson for me to learn and very difficult for me to implement because I’m a naturally laid back and low maintenance person. But when I did, I started being treated better.

Don’t listen to all the men who are going to say that they don’t like high maintenance, demanding b-ches. They’re lying to you or to themselves.

Can you give some examples of what you mean by “stop doing everything right”?

I think I have the same problem as you and OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You must be coming across as insecure and needy. Players use you and move on and decent guys see you as insecure and needy.

What are specific things that make a woman come across as insecure and needy?

[Anonymous]

I could have written this myself. I feel very similar. Many guys have ghosted me or said they want an exclusive relationship and ended up cheating. It’s probably similar for men too and just overall really frustrating. Where are the nice guys?