How long did you grieve your parent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom had been increasingly sick so it wasn’t a shock.

I wouldn’t say it affected my work at all except for some logistical issues to do with taking time off when she was ill, dying, and dealing with the funeral.

Even though we were very close, I wouldn’t say that dealing with the grief was difficult or traumatic. I miss her, but when I think about her it is sad rather than gut-wrenching. I think my wife was similar about her father passing.

I feel exactly this way. My mom died about 18 months ago and i miss her - especially right after there were a million things my son would do that I would want to tell her about and got really sad when i couldn't. That's eased up a little. Right now I'm going through some job stuff and would love to call her up and bounce things off of her. But i'm not incapacitated by grief and never really was since she was sick off and on for 6 years.

[Anonymous]

Lifelong.

I have had a wonderful life with wonderful family and friends at each stage of my life. A loving and functional family is a blessing that parents bestow on their children. Not every kid is that fortunate, so I am very grateful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom had been increasingly sick so it wasn’t a shock.

I wouldn’t say it affected my work at all except for some logistical issues to do with taking time off when she was ill, dying, and dealing with the funeral.

Even though we were very close, I wouldn’t say that dealing with the grief was difficult or traumatic. I miss her, but when I think about her it is sad rather than gut-wrenching. I think my wife was similar about her father passing.

+1 with my dad. We didn't see him regularly because he and my mom lived across the country and he'd been sick for a while so it was not a surprise. I was initially sad/angry that I hadn't gotten to see him one last time (it was during covid although that's not what killed him and we were waiting for the vax before traveling to avoid exposing him) but I did have a good talk with him not long before he died. I expect my mom's passing will hit harder since I'm closer to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have never stopped grieving my parent who died nine years ago. I am not trying to stop grieving. I miss them terribly every single day.

Me, too. 20 years. The grief is no longer debilitating but it's always there.

[Anonymous]

My dad died unexpectedly nine years ago. It took a full year for the random stabs of grief to dull. The grief really surprised me because we were not that close. I think I needed a calendar year to get used to the void in every holiday/season. I was still very functional, but a random song or memory would catch me off guard often the first year and I'd have to recompose myself.

[Anonymous]

I haven’t got past the anger at my dad passing. He didn’t prepare things very well. I know he tried but he left a ton of things on my lap. My parent were perpetually irresponsible in life. So frustrating. He died 11 years ago. None of my friends or family were helpful so I DGAF about them much anymore. Wow, still very angry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have never stopped grieving my parent who died nine years ago. I am not trying to stop grieving. I miss them terribly every single day.

Me too, word for word, except 14 years for me.

+1 8 years

[Anonymous]

The answer to this question totally depends on the relationship with and health of the parent. Both my parents died. One was devastating for years; the other was not.

[Anonymous]

My dad died 5 years ago suddenly in an accident, he was only 59. It took about a year to really be able to emotionally handle life.

I miss him every single day and every holiday/milestone of my kids he never met pains me that he's not there with us, however I'm able to put those emotions into a compartment and save it for a good cry when I'm alone.

[Anonymous]

My dad died 10 years ago. For 3 years after I was in deep mourning; could not think of him without weeping, which was often. Then my mom got a scary diagnosis and a gear shifted in my mind as my focus turned to mom. She died mere months later. Since then, my grieving had been all for her. It's like there's no room in my brain to mourn both of them simultaneously, or else I just couldn't handle it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How long did you grieve after losing a parent? What phases did you move thru, how long did they last? How long did it affect you at work?

Answers to any of the above appreciated. I’m sorry for your loss.

A week. My dad was sick for a month. I was in my early 40s and we were reasonably close. No disruption in my work or home life.

[Anonymous]

Both my parents passed away in their 90s and the last few years were tough for both of them. I loved them dearly and I was very sad but relieved that they didn’t have to live any longer in the condition they were in. I grieved briefly and I still think about them often - I’m looking at their pictures right now- but my memories are very focused on all of their good years.

[Anonymous]

People with good, excellent to ordinary relationships with their parents grieve their whole lives. I don't really understand the question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People with good, excellent to ordinary relationships with their parents grieve their whole lives. I don't really understand the question.

Oh, I bet you do. I bet you understand that not everybody has a good, excellent or even ordinary relationship with their parents and even some that do are able to deal with their grief differently than you do. Read the comments then you might see how other people have dealt, or not dealt, with the grief they have felt.

[Anonymous]

My dad passed away close to 2 years. It took me about 6-9 months. I couldn't mention nor think of him without sweeping. My work was very busy and it gave me no time to think of him during the day. So, no impact on work. I cried at night when I was alone. Whenever I miss him, I'd look at his picture.