DH’s loud talking, interrupting, talking over everyone…at the end of my rope

[Anonymous]

I think he may be on the autism spectrum in terms of not knowing when to shut up, not knowing interrupting is rude, and not understanding your years-long complaints.

But also he may have hearing loss that has progressed over the course of his life and that he does not admit to himself.

You need to get a whole lot more direct and annoyed, and insist on a audiology test until he gets one.

Also record conversations and play them back so he hears how loud he is compared to others. Tell him it's embarrassing in public. Refuse to go out with him, and tell him why.

[Anonymous]

My dad is more or less exactly like this, and he’s now in his 70s. He does have hearing loss and did address it; however, that did not change his behavior. At this point, I chalk it up to never really learning how to socialize politely, and never being corrected early on. My parents have couple friends who tolerate him because they are my mom’s friends first. He had friends over years he only saw at work. A few other friends drifted away, and in hindsight, I bet it was because of this behavior. The wife would send a Christmas card, but that was the extent of the friendship.

And like OP’s husband, he’d never correct his behavior. My mom complained a bit but tolerated it. Now here she is 50 years later lucky to still have friends. I think she also got as stubborn as him in sone ways.

My DH also couldn’t stand dinners with them. At this point, we life a plane ride away. Surprisingly, these days, my dad is quieter, but I think it’s because he’s older, his hearing is worse, and he’s never been close with my DH and comfortable pontificating (that’s a whole other story). Perhaps it all comes down to how certain he feels the crowd he’s with will tolerate him, and agree with what he says?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I think he may be on the autism spectrum in terms of not knowing when to shut up, not knowing interrupting is rude, and not understanding your years-long complaints.

But also he may have hearing loss that has progressed over the course of his life and that he does not admit to himself.

You need to get a whole lot more direct and annoyed, and insist on a audiology test until he gets one.

Also record conversations and play them back so he hears how loud he is compared to others. Tell him it's embarrassing in public. Refuse to go out with him, and tell him why.

PP here. I do believe my dad is on the spectrum, too, especially when it comes to pontificating about politics. So many signs of it over the years. He’d never address it and my mom would deny it.

[Anonymous]

You are looking for a reason to divorce him. I think you just want to exit the marriage. That’s okay. You don’t need our permission to do so. Like so many women on here, they are sick and tired of their husbands, they hate their marriages and they want out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I think he may be on the autism spectrum in terms of not knowing when to shut up, not knowing interrupting is rude, and not understanding your years-long complaints.

But also he may have hearing loss that has progressed over the course of his life and that he does not admit to himself.

You need to get a whole lot more direct and annoyed, and insist on a audiology test until he gets one.

Also record conversations and play them back so he hears how loud he is compared to others. Tell him it's embarrassing in public. Refuse to go out with him, and tell him why.

According to women here anyone with an unusual behavior must be on the spectrum lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I think he may be on the autism spectrum in terms of not knowing when to shut up, not knowing interrupting is rude, and not understanding your years-long complaints.

But also he may have hearing loss that has progressed over the course of his life and that he does not admit to himself.

You need to get a whole lot more direct and annoyed, and insist on a audiology test until he gets one.

Also record conversations and play them back so he hears how loud he is compared to others. Tell him it's embarrassing in public. Refuse to go out with him, and tell him why.

According to women here anyone with an unusual behavior must be on the spectrum lol.

DP. My dad does all this and is not on the spectrum. It’s just a lifetime of being treated as/thinking he is the wisest guy in a room.

[Anonymous]

Your DH may not even know HOW to have a proper conversation. I have trouble with this too. When is it ok to "respond" to the other person's conversation? is that interrupting?
Maybe some role-modeling could help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ADHD

+1

He probably has no idea he’s doing it and can’t really help it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Child, your post was so long, maybe your DH can edit it down for us?

Sit down and let the adults talk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ADHD

This!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I think he may be on the autism spectrum in terms of not knowing when to shut up, not knowing interrupting is rude, and not understanding your years-long complaints.

But also he may have hearing loss that has progressed over the course of his life and that he does not admit to himself.

You need to get a whole lot more direct and annoyed, and insist on a audiology test until he gets one.

Also record conversations and play them back so he hears how loud he is compared to others. Tell him it's embarrassing in public. Refuse to go out with him, and tell him why.

According to women here anyone with an unusual behavior must be on the spectrum lol.

DP. My dad does all this and is not on the spectrum. It’s just a lifetime of being treated as/thinking he is the wisest guy in a room.

Man 'splaining lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ADHD

+1

[Anonymous]

He definitely needs to go for a hearing test OP, that could be causing the increasing volume.

You could record him with you and the kids and let him hear how he sounds on a regular day and contrast it to a "regular" conversation you have with the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you think he has hearing loss? That could explain a lot of this.

Get his hearing checked regarding volume.

[Anonymous]

Female here. I am dating now in my 40s.
Three fit guys I dated had hearing problems. Same age range as me. I found it strange at first. Each had some excuse

Now I think a good amount men in their 4os must having hearing loss. it’s a thing