Men bringing up sex/sex adjacent things right away?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a good way to get shot or have your teeth knocked out if you are that careless about who you approach.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you went there first. Sex parties?

[Anonymous]

This is one of the few threads on DCUM where I don’t think anyone is trolling. I can see why this guy wanted to be out in the open about his kinky stuff. I can also see how OP got weirded out by it. If you have never gone to sex parties and aren’t generally kinky, then it seems like this stuff is unreal or only happens in porn or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Today I matched with a pretty cute guy on Hinge and the conversation turned fairly quickly to sexual subjects that I'm not really comfortable with. First it was what I thought was a light hearted joke about him meeting women who wanted to go to sex parties, then next thing he's asking me if I've ever been to one, if I would go to one, and the conversation pivoted and kept coming back to it before he finally told me he dreamed of opening a strip club and I blocked him.

Are some men really so unselfaware that they think this is gonna lead to sex? Is it just a fishing tactic to see who's gonna bite? Was he trying to con me into some kind of Andrew Tate camming business? I dont understand what could make seemingly otherwise intelligent men act like complete doofuses.

So IMVE the vast majority of women on the apps put out on the first date, especially the ones who say “no hookups.”

Most are totally DTF immediately. He’s just making the safe assumption.

If you’re a prude and this isn’t for you, that’s fine. Just don’t string him along.

String him along? LOL. FIrst of all, the LAST consideration for me. Second, she F'ing blocked him, and good for her, so that's not happening in any event.

It's totally fine for him to be into kinky/dirty stuff. That doesn't make OP a "prude." (You're kind of a dick for even saying that). What is NOT ok for him to jump right to it as soon as they start talking. Sorry, that's some straight up creeper sh---. And is a huge red flag, having zero to do with the sex part of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is one of the few threads on DCUM where I don’t think anyone is trolling. I can see why this guy wanted to be out in the open about his kinky stuff. I can also see how OP got weirded out by it. If you have never gone to sex parties and aren’t generally kinky, then it seems like this stuff is unreal or only happens in porn or whatever.

Both sides are entitled to their feelings on these things.

But, to me, it is SUPER CREEPY that he jumped right at it with OP. Dude is probs the type to send unsolicited dick pics.
I'd be up for hearing the wants but not right out of the gate.

[Anonymous]

Literally all those apps are are hook up apps you know this. Meet someone in real life OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s possibly some sort of mental illness or intoxication, or someone just getting off on writing that stuff to you.

In answer to your question about the effectiveness of his methods - well, he got a little gratification out of sending you those messages.

Which is what I find strange because I just deflected each time, didn't really get offended nor delve too deep into it. It honestly seems like a waste of time for him, and especially because he's a relatively good looking guy (and his profile linked to his instagram so I know it was really him). Why is an attractive man with a six pack and a pretty face that could have plenty of dates and probably find sex easily if he just played his cards right wasting his time messaging some woman who's barely responding to his sexual innuendos and then blocks him? It just seems odd and pointless.

He doesn’t just want sex based on his messages, he wants someone who is pretty kinky/dirty. That’s not you, and you both figured that out quickly.

But he didn't figure it out? He kept pressing me even though I made it clear and verbally told him. It's just bizarre.

Bizarre according to what rule book or promise that was made to you?

If you really don’t think sending someone extremely sexual messages within hours of meeting them is bizarre, then that says a lot about you and your social skills

NP. I agree with you OP, fwiw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Today I matched with a pretty cute guy on Hinge and the conversation turned fairly quickly to sexual subjects that I'm not really comfortable with. First it was what I thought was a light hearted joke about him meeting women who wanted to go to sex parties, then next thing he's asking me if I've ever been to one, if I would go to one, and the conversation pivoted and kept coming back to it before he finally told me he dreamed of opening a strip club and I blocked him.

Are some men really so unselfaware that they think this is gonna lead to sex? Is it just a fishing tactic to see who's gonna bite? Was he trying to con me into some kind of Andrew Tate camming business? I dont understand what could make seemingly otherwise intelligent men act like complete doofuses.

So IMVE the vast majority of women on the apps put out on the first date, especially the ones who say “no hookups.”

Most are totally DTF immediately. He’s just making the safe assumption.

If you’re a prude and this isn’t for you, that’s fine. Just don’t string him along.

String him along? LOL. FIrst of all, the LAST consideration for me. Second, she F'ing blocked him, and good for her, so that's not happening in any event.

It's totally fine for him to be into kinky/dirty stuff. That doesn't make OP a "prude." (You're kind of a dick for even saying that). What is NOT ok for him to jump right to it as soon as they start talking. Sorry, that's some straight up creeper sh---. And is a huge red flag, having zero to do with the sex part of it.

No it's not a red flag. Hinge is a sexual hookup app. In fact OP isn't even saying she did not want to have sex with him. She obviously did, that's the criteria she selected him on. OP is just offended that the guy has her figured out so quickly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is one of the few threads on DCUM where I don’t think anyone is trolling. I can see why this guy wanted to be out in the open about his kinky stuff. I can also see how OP got weirded out by it. If you have never gone to sex parties and aren’t generally kinky, then it seems like this stuff is unreal or only happens in porn or whatever.

Both sides are entitled to their feelings on these things.

But, to me, it is SUPER CREEPY that he jumped right at it with OP. Dude is probs the type to send unsolicited dick pics.
I'd be up for hearing the wants but not right out of the gate.

Maybe the way OP presented herself in the app gave off DTF vibes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Literally all those apps are are hook up apps you know this. Meet someone in real life OP.

OP did want to have sex with the guy. She screened for sexual desirability. But she was hoping the guy would jump through a few.of her hoops first so she could feel better about herself.

That's why she is so angry. He got right to the point and called her out for wanting to have sex with him, so she feels humiliated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Literally all those apps are are hook up apps you know this. Meet someone in real life OP.

OP did want to have sex with the guy. She screened for sexual desirability. But she was hoping the guy would jump through a few.of her hoops first so she could feel better about herself.

That's why she is so angry. He got right to the point and called her out for wanting to have sex with him, so she feels humiliated.

lol What? When did "called her out for wanting to have sex with him, so she feels humiliated." that happen?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s possibly some sort of mental illness or intoxication, or someone just getting off on writing that stuff to you.

In answer to your question about the effectiveness of his methods - well, he got a little gratification out of sending you those messages.

Which is what I find strange because I just deflected each time, didn't really get offended nor delve too deep into it. It honestly seems like a waste of time for him, and especially because he's a relatively good looking guy (and his profile linked to his instagram so I know it was really him). Why is an attractive man with a six pack and a pretty face that could have plenty of dates and probably find sex easily if he just played his cards right wasting his time messaging some woman who's barely responding to his sexual innuendos and then blocks him? It just seems odd and pointless.

creepy guys exist! the creepiest guy I ever met was a very handsome, cut fireman who would just stand on the corner hitting on women, and threatened to burn my apartment down when I turned him down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s possibly some sort of mental illness or intoxication, or someone just getting off on writing that stuff to you.

In answer to your question about the effectiveness of his methods - well, he got a little gratification out of sending you those messages.

Which is what I find strange because I just deflected each time, didn't really get offended nor delve too deep into it. It honestly seems like a waste of time for him, and especially because he's a relatively good looking guy (and his profile linked to his instagram so I know it was really him). Why is an attractive man with a six pack and a pretty face that could have plenty of dates and probably find sex easily if he just played his cards right wasting his time messaging some woman who's barely responding to his sexual innuendos and then blocks him? It just seems odd and pointless.

He doesn’t just want sex based on his messages, he wants someone who is pretty kinky/dirty. That’s not you, and you both figured that out quickly.

But he didn't figure it out? He kept pressing me even though I made it clear and verbally told him. It's just bizarre.

He was getting off on pushing your boundaries.

[Anonymous]

The guy was fishing, threw out some bait but OP didn’t bite. There are plenty of weirdos out there both male and female. Someone might take his bait if he casts often enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The guy was fishing, threw out some bait but OP didn’t bite. There are plenty of weirdos out there both male and female. Someone might take his bait if he casts often enough.

OP did indeed bite and is still biting. If she was offended she would have blocked him immediately. Of course she wanted sex with him. Look how she describes him, as a sex object for women.

But OP is mad that he didn't play her let's pretend game so she could deny being interested in him for sex.