Happily married but have feelings for someone else

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because you are bored. It's not a referendum on your marriage. You need to be careful and not doing anything stupid or go in deep with your feelings. It will pass if you don't feed the beast and end up destroying your family, his family and your career.

Doesn’t every married woman get bored of having s*d with their husband after a few years of marriage?

[Anonymous]

Totally normal. Doesn't this happen to everyone at some point?

My advice if you are a woman -dont be alone with him with alcohol involved. Don't expect him to respect your marriage. Men are about as faithful as their options

[Anonymous]

Why is there so much moralizing here? It’s normal, we’re human, nothing to be ashamed of or afraid of. You won’t cheat if you don’t want to. As others have said, no drinking alone with the crush.

Otherwise, enjoy! It’s a bit of pleasure and excitement in the context of a long stable safe relationship. IME, you can bring the energy of the crush back to your spouse and enliven your sex life at home, too.

[Anonymous]

I find myself in a similar situation. We are both married with kids, and she is so cute and personable. Ideally, if we were to act on our feelings, it would only be when we are at work conferences, maybe 3 to 4 times a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is there so much moralizing here? It’s normal, we’re human, nothing to be ashamed of or afraid of. You won’t cheat if you don’t want to. As others have said, no drinking alone with the crush.

Otherwise, enjoy! It’s a bit of pleasure and excitement in the context of a long stable safe relationship. IME, you can bring the energy of the crush back to your spouse and enliven your sex life at home, too.

People can have all the pleasure they want, but hiding sexual relationships with other people from your spouse is amoral and unethical.

The relationship isn’t safe for the person who is being cheated on.

[Anonymous]

It took 16 years for this to happen, that’s the weird part.

You avoid them at all costs.

It’s a limerance anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It took 16 years for this to happen, that’s the weird part.

You avoid them at all costs.

It’s a limerance anyway.

16 years of marriage?

[Anonymous]

Totally normal. It is what you do with it that matters.

[Anonymous]

It bothers me that people respond with quick and fast moral recipes. Think about your situation. And the key is thinking here, not just acting. Maybe the coworker you are attracted to is something you need in your life in someway. Maybe not. Your relationship can take many fulfilling forms that are within your moral standards. Maybe not. Even just fantasizing could be a good thing for you. Any way. Think about things, about risk and consequences, but also think about what you need in your life. Think about things in the context of your whole life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It bothers me that people respond with quick and fast moral recipes. Think about your situation. And the key is thinking here, not just acting. Maybe the coworker you are attracted to is something you need in your life in someway. Maybe not. Your relationship can take many fulfilling forms that are within your moral standards. Maybe not. Even just fantasizing could be a good thing for you. Any way. Think about things, about risk and consequences, but also think about what you need in your life. Think about things in the context of your whole life.

+1

[Anonymous]

You are not happily married if you have feeling for someone else. FYI.

[Anonymous]

Feelings are fleeting. Enjoy feeling something, set boundaries and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are not happily married if you have feeling for someone else. FYI.

Sure you can. It happens all the time and sometimes when you least expect it. I was happy in my marriage and then out of nowhere...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are not happily married if you have feeling for someone else. FYI.

Why not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It bothers me that people respond with quick and fast moral recipes. Think about your situation. And the key is thinking here, not just acting. Maybe the coworker you are attracted to is something you need in your life in someway. Maybe not. Your relationship can take many fulfilling forms that are within your moral standards. Maybe not. Even just fantasizing could be a good thing for you. Any way. Think about things, about risk and consequences, but also think about what you need in your life. Think about things in the context of your whole life.

+1

Think about your spouse’s life- is this what your spouse needs? What about your kids? The kids of your co-worker? How do they need this in their lives?

Cheaters are so selfish they only think about themselves and their lives.

Op, since this is so natural and unavoidable because we are human, go tell your spouse and kids that you are having these feelings. Let them know you are going to be in a new relationship with your co-worker and how incredibly attracted you are to them. Show them these messages and they will realize they are holding you back from happiness. You don’t need to hide your emotions and feelings because it’s normal to want to have a spouse and lover.