Body image struggle after seeing a group photo

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry OP I can relate. I'm fat which is maybe not your problem. I always stand in the back so as much of my body is blocked as possible and I wear black. If the background is dark, I'm just kind of a floating face and you can't tell where my body begins and ends. You can still tell I'm fat but it's not as stark as a full body shot.

[Anonymous]

Stand at a 3/4 angle so you don’t get photographed full-on, especially if you’re on the end! Also bend a leg or put one foot in front of the other. Then draw attention away from your body and towards your face with a big, brilliant smile!

Highlight any “slimming” features: do you have skinny ankles or wrists or a long neck? Even just rolling up your sleeves can make a difference. Also break up the silhouette. Picture the same person in a big long turtleneck sweater and long straight pants, vs necklace, scoop neck dress with belt, dark tights, boots. Other things to break up the silhouette or provide focal points away from mid-torso: collars, chunky bracelets, embellished flats. The slimming thing is often not the trendy thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 5”10 and 180. Size 10 athletic build. OP I look like a giant ogre to myself in photos with others although in person I never *feel* like I’m towering over people. I don’t know what to tell you other than that I’ve started following similar sized people on insta and it helps. Still I feel ugly compared to all the cute little ladies out there. When I wear dresses I feel like a man in drag (no shade on men in dresses, it’s just not what I’m going for). Being a bigger taller woman sucks in our culture. Yes, I know models are tall etc but they have tiny bones and weigh nothing. The average tall woman isn’t a model build. Solidarity OP

https://images.app.goo.gl/ojPKXGXowsbk8wmi7

I’d kill for this body. I call this having a “commanding presence”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s your BMI?

Basic question. How much can we blame it on camera angle and body position?
Aside from models, group pictures will work best for average, but proportionate people. Everyone else will need some prep work.

[Anonymous]

NP. I can relate, OP. It's the same as seeing yourself in vacation photos. I use it as a big dose of motivation to pull my diet and exercise habits together.

[Anonymous]

I'm in good shape, and people compliment me on that all the time, but I feel like I look like a linebacker in pictures. It sucks but I just try to shrug it off. I also have a tendency to do weird things with my face- I'm very animated- so that can look odd too. Oh well. I, sure you look fine in person.

[Anonymous]

Learning to pose can really help. Find your angles and don’t be standing straight on at the camera. Whatever you were wearing that made you feel bad - just throw it out

[Anonymous]

I think a lot of tall girls go through this. Listen, at the end of the day you have big, beautiful genes that most people would love to have. I think all women want to feel "delicate" and "small" on some level but many men want the opposite. And theyd probably kill for your powerful height genes. It's just gonna be something you have to kind of mentally move past and get over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Meanwhile, somebody is looking at that same group picture, thinking how athletic and muscular you look and they’re feeling bad about how sickly and unattractively skinny they look.

My advice is not to compare yourself to other bodies. We all have different bodies.

Such a great answer! Focus on internalizing this! And stop comparing!

[Anonymous]

I am 5 ft tall but I don't feel short and then I see myself in group photos where I am the shortest by a lot and that always surprises me because moving around the world I feel average height.

[Anonymous]

I have to give myself a lot of grace. Since having 3 kids, my body is just not the way it used to be. Even 2 years later after the last pregnancy, I look pregnant. I too am not in many pictures. I dressed up a little last night for a birthday party, and saw a candid photo of myself. It was sad to see how much worse I looked than I felt. But, oh well. I had a good time. My family and friends love me not for my looks. My hair isn't great right now, my body and weight isn't great, my health isn't great, but I am loved. I have to focus on that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of tall girls go through this. Listen, at the end of the day you have big, beautiful genes that most people would love to have. I think all women want to feel "delicate" and "small" on some level but many men want the opposite. And theyd probably kill for your powerful height genes. It's just gonna be something you have to kind of mentally move past and get over.

Hilarious to try and make this lady feel better by dunking on short women. I’m 5’2 and slender and I have never been jealous of women who are bigger than me.

[Anonymous]

I have and would approach this honestly.

I faced myself like this with the 5 stages of grief. Not that it’s that extreme, but that it’s how we react to almost anything.

Denial, anger, sadness, bargaining, acceptance.

Move through those in any order toward acceptance.

And acceptance doesn’t have to mean permanently accepting. It means in this moment seeing the reality. Wrap yourself up in more of the reality. The good things you know about yourself. What your body can do. Your shape. The good and bad. Accept it.

You can decide separately if there is action you want to take from there. That’s a separate question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have and would approach this honestly.

I faced myself like this with the 5 stages of grief. Not that it’s that extreme, but that it’s how we react to almost anything.

Denial, anger, sadness, bargaining, acceptance.

Move through those in any order toward acceptance.

And acceptance doesn’t have to mean permanently accepting. It means in this moment seeing the reality. Wrap yourself up in more of the reality. The good things you know about yourself. What your body can do. Your shape. The good and bad. Accept it.

You can decide separately if there is action you want to take from there. That’s a separate question.

We can all improve. We all get to decide what we want to improve and what we don’t. Accept and also remember we can change. Nobody is stuck in the exact same spot—we’re all living and making choices everyday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 5”10 and 180. Size 10 athletic build. OP I look like a giant ogre to myself in photos with others although in person I never *feel* like I’m towering over people. I don’t know what to tell you other than that I’ve started following similar sized people on insta and it helps. Still I feel ugly compared to all the cute little ladies out there. When I wear dresses I feel like a man in drag (no shade on men in dresses, it’s just not what I’m going for). Being a bigger taller woman sucks in our culture. Yes, I know models are tall etc but they have tiny bones and weigh nothing. The average tall woman isn’t a model build. Solidarity OP

I'm 5'7 and I'd die to be 5'10. If you are not thin, being tall and heavier looks ten times better than being short and chubby, which is the worst.