You do NOT need your kid’s syllabus

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents! You do NOT need access or even possess your child’s class syllabus!! Please-they need to manage it!

Why do you care. I don't disagree with you but it doesn't harm me nor is it any of my business what other parents do.

Because if your kid "needs" their parents help to manage college at the level of syllabi then the kid should not be at college yet. They belong at a CC and living at home. Not at a 4 year college. If your kid's adhd/anxiety is not managed well enough that they can do this themselves without more than a reminder to organize their syllabi/read them and put the due dates into a calendar, then they are not ready to manage college.

Signed,
Parent of a kid with ADHD/Anxiety

You’re projecting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents! You do NOT need access or even possess your child’s class syllabus!! Please-they need to manage it!

Is this really a thing? Do these parents actually want their DC to fail at life?? My God.

of course a parent does not want their DC to fail at life. But IMO a kid is NOT ready for college if they require a parent to help micromanage down to the level of syllabi. A kid has to take control and do the work themselves at the college level. Even with ADHD/EF issues. Most colleges provide assistance with that. Get your kid an EF coach if needed, but ideally that should happen before they get to college. You can role play and help your kid figure out how to navigate issues, but they ultimately need to learn how to put dates in a calendar and plan their study schedule/organize getting everything done on time. If they cannot do that without "higher level guidance" from you/a few reminders or check in to just see how things are going, then they need to step back and build those skills before embarking on college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents! You do NOT need access or even possess your child’s class syllabus!! Please-they need to manage it!

Why do you care. I don't disagree with you but it doesn't harm me nor is it any of my business what other parents do.

Because if your kid "needs" their parents help to manage college at the level of syllabi then the kid should not be at college yet. They belong at a CC and living at home. Not at a 4 year college. If your kid's adhd/anxiety is not managed well enough that they can do this themselves without more than a reminder to organize their syllabi/read them and put the due dates into a calendar, then they are not ready to manage college.

Signed,
Parent of a kid with ADHD/Anxiety

You’re projecting.

Nope, just keeping it real. If you still need to micromanage your adult kid in college, then they are not really ready for college. Time and money would be better spent on a year off with EF coaching and a job. Eventually the kid has to learn how to navigate life on their own. A parent cannot go with them to their internship or job and make sure they meet deliverables. Sooner the kid does the work to develop these skills themselves the better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents! You do NOT need access or even possess your child’s class syllabus!! Please-they need to manage it!

Why do you care. I don't disagree with you but it doesn't harm me nor is it any of my business what other parents do.

Because if your kid "needs" their parents help to manage college at the level of syllabi then the kid should not be at college yet. They belong at a CC and living at home. Not at a 4 year college. If your kid's adhd/anxiety is not managed well enough that they can do this themselves without more than a reminder to organize their syllabi/read them and put the due dates into a calendar, then they are not ready to manage college.

Signed,
Parent of a kid with ADHD/Anxiety

+1

Totally agree. Thank you for being the voice of reason. Some parents may not realize how much damage they cause their child.

+1 Cannot imagine why a parent would want to set their kid up for failure. Help them develop these essential tools---EF can be "taught". My kid had none in ES and learned thru lots of help in ES/MS/HS. Sure life is harder for them, but they learned to manage and develop those skills so they can function in life. But if they were not ready to handle college you would be killing their self esteem by sending them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid asked if I wanted to see it for a particular class that he thought I’d find interesting. I said, thanks, but no thanks. I never want to see another syllabus again, ever. 😂

My parents never asked to see a syllabus, but my dad did read all the books I left at their house during breaks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents! You do NOT need access or even possess your child’s class syllabus!! Please-they need to manage it!

Why do you care. I don't disagree with you but it doesn't harm me nor is it any of my business what other parents do.

Because if your kid "needs" their parents help to manage college at the level of syllabi then the kid should not be at college yet. They belong at a CC and living at home. Not at a 4 year college. If your kid's adhd/anxiety is not managed well enough that they can do this themselves without more than a reminder to organize their syllabi/read them and put the due dates into a calendar, then they are not ready to manage college.

Signed,
Parent of a kid with ADHD/Anxiety

You’re projecting.

Nope, just keeping it real. If you still need to micromanage your adult kid in college, then they are not really ready for college. Time and money would be better spent on a year off with EF coaching and a job. Eventually the kid has to learn how to navigate life on their own. A parent cannot go with them to their internship or job and make sure they meet deliverables. Sooner the kid does the work to develop these skills themselves the better.

There’s a middle ground.

Again, you’re projecting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents! You do NOT need access or even possess your child’s class syllabus!! Please-they need to manage it!

Why do you care. I don't disagree with you but it doesn't harm me nor is it any of my business what other parents do.

I largely agree with you, PP, but I also acknowledge that increasing numbers of students with LD and mental illness are entering schools. Many could benefit from some additional support in time management. Moreover, if parents are paying, it doesn’t seem unreasonable to ask for this info. If you were making monthly car payments for your young adult child, you’d want to know that the scheduled maintenance was taking place.

What a crock of ablist BS. I have two kids with LD in college. The whole point of federal laws and disability services is to assure INDEPENDENT access to education and opportunity.

Your comment is condescending, classist and mind-numbingly ignorant as to how higher education works.

"If parents are paying..." how much? Are only full pay parents allowed to see the full schedule? smh

Wow.

Here’s hoping your kids handle a stressful situation with more grace than you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents! You do NOT need access or even possess your child’s class syllabus!! Please-they need to manage it!

Is this really a thing? Do these parents actually want their DC to fail at life?? My God.

Tell us your experience with your learning-challenged college student.

[Anonymous]

If I am paying and choose to, not your business. Why do you care?

[Anonymous]

As a professor I am concerned by this level of parent involvement for other reasons. Teaching at the university is increasingly politicized with faculty in some states being explicitly instructed not to discuss or teach specific topics, faculty being fired for holding specific views and engaging in online discussions and going to demonstrations. I would be worried about situations where parents take offense at assignments or readings without any context. Ituhard to do your best as a faculty member with this degree of micromanagement and surveillance. And the argument that “because I am paying I should be allowed to dictate/weigh in on assignments. Readings etc” is one that we are hearing increasingly on the right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents! You do NOT need access or even possess your child’s class syllabus!! Please-they need to manage it!

Why do you care. I don't disagree with you but it doesn't harm me nor is it any of my business what other parents do.

Because if your kid "needs" their parents help to manage college at the level of syllabi then the kid should not be at college yet. They belong at a CC and living at home. Not at a 4 year college. If your kid's adhd/anxiety is not managed well enough that they can do this themselves without more than a reminder to organize their syllabi/read them and put the due dates into a calendar, then they are not ready to manage college.

Signed,
Parent of a kid with ADHD/Anxiety

+1

Totally agree. Thank you for being the voice of reason. Some parents may not realize how much damage they cause their child.

+1 Cannot imagine why a parent would want to set their kid up for failure. Help them develop these essential tools---EF can be "taught". My kid had none in ES and learned thru lots of help in ES/MS/HS. Sure life is harder for them, but they learned to manage and develop those skills so they can function in life. But if they were not ready to handle college you would be killing their self esteem by sending them.

+1

Killing their grades AND self esteem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was in a zoom meeting with my coworker and he was telling me how he was helping his son write an essay paper this weekend. WTF! That’s who we will be working with in 4 years!

Meh I’m successful, own my own business and make seven figures. I still send my writing to my mom for review. Our commercials, for example…even mass client emails where I want her opinion and help on tone. She was an English teacher, but I go to my parents still for a myriad of things. I’m 46. 🤷‍♀️

[Anonymous]

If either kid of mine is asking me to review their work when they are age 46, I have failed at parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If either kid of mine is asking me to review their work when they are age 46, I have failed at parenting.

Maybe if your kids are asking for money or a place to stay at age 46?

Also, if your kids still trust and respect your opinion at age 46 then tell me how you did that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents! You do NOT need access or even possess your child’s class syllabus!! Please-they need to manage it!

Why do you care. I don't disagree with you but it doesn't harm me nor is it any of my business what other parents do.

I largely agree with you, PP, but I also acknowledge that increasing numbers of students with LD and mental illness are entering schools. Many could benefit from some additional support in time management. Moreover, if parents are paying, it doesn’t seem unreasonable to ask for this info. If you were making monthly car payments for your young adult child, you’d want to know that the scheduled maintenance was taking place.

What a crock of ablist BS. I have two kids with LD in college. The whole point of federal laws and disability services is to assure INDEPENDENT access to education and opportunity.

Your comment is condescending, classist and mind-numbingly ignorant as to how higher education works.

"If parents are paying..." how much? Are only full pay parents allowed to see the full schedule? smh

NP and parent of SN child. You are overreacting to this comment. Though I agree that the "paying" part isn't relevant, you are naïve if you think any law is assuring independent access to education and opportunity for everyone. They shouldn't, but disability services vary widely across schools. Try not to be so judgmental of someone whose child may not have landed in a school that is as well equipped as your kids'.

That said, the parent FB page of my child's school does seem to be full of people with NT kids who a flummoxed by their inability to log in and see their child's assignments and grades with their financial aid access log in. I'm also surprised by the people who think it's ok to get their kid's log in credentials to do so.