You do NOT need your kid’s syllabus

[Anonymous]

I couldn’t even tell you what classes my kids are taking. I’m sure they told me at some point but I have no clue.

[Anonymous]

Fully agree. They are adults.

[Anonymous]

My senior is completely on top of her responsibilities. That wasn't the case freshman year. It took some time.

Now we have another freshman and guess what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents! You do NOT need access or even possess your child’s class syllabus!! Please-they need to manage it!

Why do you care. I don't disagree with you but it doesn't harm me nor is it any of my business what other parents do.

I largely agree with you, PP, but I also acknowledge that increasing numbers of students with LD and mental illness are entering schools. Many could benefit from some additional support in time management. Moreover, if parents are paying, it doesn’t seem unreasonable to ask for this info. If you were making monthly car payments for your young adult child, you’d want to know that the scheduled maintenance was taking place.

-1. Your kid is not a car. If they need EF help, most colleges have EF classes, LD centers coaches, etc. *F th ask for help* or are clearly drowning, it’s appropriate to sit down with them and help them find appropriate school resources. Or, if there are none, offer to pay for a private EF tutor. That’s it. College is the time when parents have to give up control and kids have to assume responsibility. They may start career appropriate internships in college and will need to graduate and do a job or attend grad school— without you. If your kid is really incapable of managing classes without mom and dad, then they need a gap year, with a job and parents backing of so they can learn these skills.

If you want to know what your kid is learning in class— ask them. And respect their boundaries in terms of the info they provide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents! You do NOT need access or even possess your child’s class syllabus!! Please-they need to manage it!

Why do you care. I don't disagree with you but it doesn't harm me nor is it any of my business what other parents do.

I largely agree with you, PP, but I also acknowledge that increasing numbers of students with LD and mental illness are entering schools. Many could benefit from some additional support in time management. Moreover, if parents are paying, it doesn’t seem unreasonable to ask for this info. If you were making monthly car payments for your young adult child, you’d want to know that the scheduled maintenance was taking place.

Someone needs to create a gap year program tailored to these students.

[Anonymous]

I don't know much about my son's schedule - only the details he has shared with us. I know the pathway of his classes due to his major. He talks with us periodically asking for help on certain topics, he goes to prof office hours, has hired tutors, found folks in his classes to help. He shared a recent essay with us. He is in the driver seat for all of this - if he asks for help or advise we are there to help. If he doesn't that's fine. We felt like he was more than ready to meet the challenges of college on his own. I'm not sure our youngest will be quite so independent and self-sufficient. So I won't say I won't ask for a syllabus for the second one - until we get there. I'd rather not - but some kids just need more help than others.

[Anonymous]

I agree 100% parents should not be demanding a class syllabus. That said, we definitely discuss with our freshman the process, how she is doing, what is going on. We have no idea particular deadlines, I only know she has never missed a class because we were having a discussion about missing one class in connection with thanksgiving travel.

I try to be a compass, not a map, but that is because that is what my kid is ready for. If she needed more, I would support her and work to develop independence.

I also try, really, really hard not to judge others

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents! You do NOT need access or even possess your child’s class syllabus!! Please-they need to manage it!

Why do you care. I don't disagree with you but it doesn't harm me nor is it any of my business what other parents do.

Because if your kid "needs" their parents help to manage college at the level of syllabi then the kid should not be at college yet. They belong at a CC and living at home. Not at a 4 year college. If your kid's adhd/anxiety is not managed well enough that they can do this themselves without more than a reminder to organize their syllabi/read them and put the due dates into a calendar, then they are not ready to manage college.

Signed,
Parent of a kid with ADHD/Anxiety

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents! You do NOT need access or even possess your child’s class syllabus!! Please-they need to manage it!

Is this really a thing? Do these parents actually want their DC to fail at life?? My God.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents! You do NOT need access or even possess your child’s class syllabus!! Please-they need to manage it!

Why do you care. I don't disagree with you but it doesn't harm me nor is it any of my business what other parents do.

Because if your kid "needs" their parents help to manage college at the level of syllabi then the kid should not be at college yet. They belong at a CC and living at home. Not at a 4 year college. If your kid's adhd/anxiety is not managed well enough that they can do this themselves without more than a reminder to organize their syllabi/read them and put the due dates into a calendar, then they are not ready to manage college.

Signed,
Parent of a kid with ADHD/Anxiety

+1

Totally agree. Thank you for being the voice of reason. Some parents may not realize how much damage they cause their child.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm the neighbor you talked to. Didn't know you were so obnoxious and such an a$$hole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My senior is completely on top of her responsibilities. That wasn't the case freshman year. It took some time.

Now we have another freshman and guess what?

So you help your freshman by generalized discussions. But you don't go over the syllabi with them! You remind them to read it, put all dates in a single calendar and remind them of the Office of disability is there to help them, to go to office hours, to stay on top of things and plan ahead. But if you need to micromanage them, they are not ready for college. You hire them an EF coach if needed who helps them plan and develop the skills to manage college/life. But even a coach would not micromanage them---they just teach them skills and encourage the kid to implement it all

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree 100% parents should not be demanding a class syllabus. That said, we definitely discuss with our freshman the process, how she is doing, what is going on. We have no idea particular deadlines, I only know she has never missed a class because we were having a discussion about missing one class in connection with thanksgiving travel.

I try to be a compass, not a map, but that is because that is what my kid is ready for. If she needed more, I would support her and work to develop independence.

I also try, really, really hard not to judge others

I try not to judge others. However, IMO a kid is not ready for college if they require a parent helping them micromanage everything. Perhaps a gap year where they work and take EF skills classes/EF coach to help prepare them would be a better use of time. Because if they want to function in the real world, they need to learn to do it on their own volition. Sure, you provide higher level guidance to a kid with ADHD/EF issues/Anxiety. But it is up to the kid to actually manage it all. If they cannot do that, then it's time to take a break and work on the issues before returning to college. You cannot go with them to their internships or job interviews or jobs. Best to teach them the skills they need to survive before college

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents! You do NOT need access or even possess your child’s class syllabus!! Please-they need to manage it!

Myob. Matbe you dont need ylto tell us what to do!

[Anonymous]

My kid asked if I wanted to see it for a particular class that he thought I’d find interesting. I said, thanks, but no thanks. I never want to see another syllabus again, ever. 😂