When do looks/personality start to matter in social dynamics?

[Anonymous]

Hopefully soon, as an introverted mom I HATE momgineering. Also, I am probably biased but my DDs are both above average in looks, height, and not being overweight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hopefully soon, as an introverted mom I HATE momgineering. Also, I am probably biased but my DDs are both above average in looks, height, and not being overweight.

Same. Except if my son turns out to be hunky and tall, I imagine those moms will want to reach out to me, which I don’t really want to get mixed up in

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Second grade

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my DD’s grade, the most unlikely girl emerged as the queen bee and still is two year later. She is short, average looking, and by many accounts quite mean.

Does she have an older sister?

[Anonymous]

It’s a progression with significant overlap. Moms who care about popularity are most likely women who were popular as kids and teens and may have traded on their looks and bubbly, amiable personality ever since. They don’t think they are engineering friendships. They think they are just fun, outgoing people who like to be social.

Similarly they don’t think they are shallow, materialistic, or high maintenance. They think they enjoy staying fit and are into fashion. It’s just who they are! Often their kids inherit their good looks and the moms get their kids trendy haircuts and buy them “cool” clothes - not because they are trying to make their kids the cool kids, just because that’s what they are into or that what their “cool mom” friends buy their kids.

[Anonymous]

Ugly elementary school girls with nice personalities have more intense moms, social engineeringwise. Sorry if it comes off as mean. I think the moms think that with a little extra engineering behind the scenes, their girls' personalities can keep them afloat socially. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. Being ugly gets toughest in middle school. By high school, a lot of formerly cute kids are growing into very average looking adults, so being an ugly isn't so isolating. Again, not trying to sound mean, this is just my observation as a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my DD’s grade, the most unlikely girl emerged as the queen bee and still is two year later. She is short, average looking, and by many accounts quite mean.

Does she have an older sister?

No. Only child of OLD parents.

[Anonymous]

This is such a bizarre post. Does your child have no friends right now but you think she's beautiful and are hoping that at some point her blonde hair and blue eyes will help her make more friends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my DD’s grade, the most unlikely girl emerged as the queen bee and still is two year later. She is short, average looking, and by many accounts quite mean.

Does she have an older sister?

No. Only child of OLD parents.

Oh. I see how it is. You're a young mom who is jealous because all the parents in their late 30s are friends with each other and therefore their children are friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hopefully soon, as an introverted mom I HATE momgineering. Also, I am probably biased but my DDs are both above average in looks, height, and not being overweight.

Same. Except if my son turns out to be hunky and tall, I imagine those moms will want to reach out to me, which I don’t really want to get mixed up in

Honestly, you and the person you are quoting both sound insane! How can you read your post and be proud of your thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Preschool

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think the moms are really out of it until middle school, but looks and personality matter starting in preschool. Kids always flock to attractive and warm, outgoing kids from very early.

Even in ES I only make playdates with kids that my DC plays with at school. It’s not really about which parents I know.

Wait until end of Middle School when the "girl-moms!" elbow in to get their kids on the "right" homecoming bus. It starts early, and really does not seem to end, BUT it tells you more than you ever wanted to know about some moms.

[Anonymous]

Middle school and up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my DD’s grade, the most unlikely girl emerged as the queen bee and still is two year later. She is short, average looking, and by many accounts quite mean.

The bolded part is the norm. Height is irrelevant if she’s mimicking older kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my DD’s grade, the most unlikely girl emerged as the queen bee and still is two year later. She is short, average looking, and by many accounts quite mean.

Does she have an older sister?

No. Only child of OLD parents.

Oh. I see how it is. You're a young mom who is jealous because all the parents in their late 30s are friends with each other and therefore their children are friends.

NP here but truly it is kind of hard being a younger parent around here. It’s basically a death sentence and the older parents have 0 interest in getting together no matter how friendly you are.