Found out my 16 year old is vaping

[Anonymous]

Fentanyl risk is no joke, get Narcan to have on hand.

Beat him to within an inch of his life too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My teen knows his life as he knows it would end if we catch him. Done. No phone. No money. No being alone in the house, ever. Rides to school and home with a parent. No seeing friends. Regular search of rooms and bags with no notice. Done. We have told my kids this over and over again. They also saw two close relatives die of smoking-related cancers at an early age.

I have a good friend who caught her son vaping and this is what she did. It worked.

This is so stupid. You can educate your kids and hope they make good decisions but the threats like this are over the top. They are teens. They try things and make mistakes sometimes.

You are the problem. Kids need boundaries and parents to enforce so they know what is and isn't acceptable. Permissive parenting is a poison.

It's not permissive. You can set expectations and give consequences for what you KNOW ABOUT. But teens can do so much stuff that you never find out. You need to teach them, as well, which is much harder than just giving consequences.

So you shouldn’t communicate your expectations about vaping unless you know they’re doing it? Huh?

We know vaping is everywhere. Yes teach them and also make it clear it will not be tolerated. I am not an overly harsh parent and this is an issue that’s different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All the parents saying they are so stern with consequences. All it will do is make your teen try harder to hide things from you and not communicate with you about anything.

Educate and parent. No need for harsh threats. That is not normal

This advice is better applied to drinking which is a behavior they’re all eventually going to engage in when young adults and they need to learn how to deal with it.

Vaping is a hard no. Some things should be a hard no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My teen knows his life as he knows it would end if we catch him. Done. No phone. No money. No being alone in the house, ever. Rides to school and home with a parent. No seeing friends. Regular search of rooms and bags with no notice. Done. We have told my kids this over and over again. They also saw two close relatives die of smoking-related cancers at an early age.

I have a good friend who caught her son vaping and this is what she did. It worked.

This is so stupid. You can educate your kids and hope they make good decisions but the threats like this are over the top. They are teens. They try things and make mistakes sometimes.

You are the problem. Kids need boundaries and parents to enforce so they know what is and isn't acceptable. Permissive parenting is a poison.

It's not permissive. You can set expectations and give consequences for what you KNOW ABOUT. But teens can do so much stuff that you never find out. You need to teach them, as well, which is much harder than just giving consequences.

So you shouldn’t communicate your expectations about vaping unless you know they’re doing it? Huh?

We know vaping is everywhere. Yes teach them and also make it clear it will not be tolerated. I am not an overly harsh parent and this is an issue that’s different.

That's not what I wrote. I said set clear expectations and impose consequences when they get caught. But it is so easy to do stuff out of your sight that you will never, ever know about. You can't punish what you don't discover. That's why you have to spend time teaching and talking. So that you hope they make good choices when you aren't there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My teen knows his life as he knows it would end if we catch him. Done. No phone. No money. No being alone in the house, ever. Rides to school and home with a parent. No seeing friends. Regular search of rooms and bags with no notice. Done. We have told my kids this over and over again. They also saw two close relatives die of smoking-related cancers at an early age.

I have a good friend who caught her son vaping and this is what she did. It worked.

This is so stupid. You can educate your kids and hope they make good decisions but the threats like this are over the top. They are teens. They try things and make mistakes sometimes.

You are the problem. Kids need boundaries and parents to enforce so they know what is and isn't acceptable. Permissive parenting is a poison.

It's not permissive. You can set expectations and give consequences for what you KNOW ABOUT. But teens can do so much stuff that you never find out. You need to teach them, as well, which is much harder than just giving consequences.

So you shouldn’t communicate your expectations about vaping unless you know they’re doing it? Huh?

We know vaping is everywhere. Yes teach them and also make it clear it will not be tolerated. I am not an overly harsh parent and this is an issue that’s different.

That's not what I wrote. I said set clear expectations and impose consequences when they get caught. But it is so easy to do stuff out of your sight that you will never, ever know about. You can't punish what you don't discover. That's why you have to spend time teaching and talking. So that you hope they make good choices when you aren't there.

Right. You can and should do both things. Make it clear ahead of time that if you catch them it will be serious and teach and talk.

Also unless you seriously have your head up your ass you will catch them vaping eventually if they’re doing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry. American culture and society have really failed you and your son. We no longer care about the youth, just about what's convenient for the individual.

Have you looked at the tobacco use numbers in China, India, Turkey or Brazil amongst others?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My teen knows his life as he knows it would end if we catch him. Done. No phone. No money. No being alone in the house, ever. Rides to school and home with a parent. No seeing friends. Regular search of rooms and bags with no notice. Done. We have told my kids this over and over again. They also saw two close relatives die of smoking-related cancers at an early age.

I have a good friend who caught her son vaping and this is what she did. It worked.

This is so stupid. You can educate your kids and hope they make good decisions but the threats like this are over the top. They are teens. They try things and make mistakes sometimes.

You are the problem. Kids need boundaries and parents to enforce so they know what is and isn't acceptable. Permissive parenting is a poison.

It's not permissive. You can set expectations and give consequences for what you KNOW ABOUT. But teens can do so much stuff that you never find out. You need to teach them, as well, which is much harder than just giving consequences.

So you shouldn’t communicate your expectations about vaping unless you know they’re doing it? Huh?

We know vaping is everywhere. Yes teach them and also make it clear it will not be tolerated. I am not an overly harsh parent and this is an issue that’s different.

That's not what I wrote. I said set clear expectations and impose consequences when they get caught. But it is so easy to do stuff out of your sight that you will never, ever know about. You can't punish what you don't discover. That's why you have to spend time teaching and talking. So that you hope they make good choices when you aren't there.

Right. You can and should do both things. Make it clear ahead of time that if you catch them it will be serious and teach and talk.

Also unless you seriously have your head up your ass you will catch them vaping eventually if they’re doing it.

My kids know plenty that vape and their parents are clueless

[Anonymous]

I would move. This is what’s going to happen in liberal cities. Fwiw a 12 year old in my child’s school was just suspended for vaping. My kid won’t even go in the school bathroom and this is a rich school in Arlington. Can’t imagine what the LSES schools are like. From what my friends say who have kids who go there, even worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My teen knows his life as he knows it would end if we catch him. Done. No phone. No money. No being alone in the house, ever. Rides to school and home with a parent. No seeing friends. Regular search of rooms and bags with no notice. Done. We have told my kids this over and over again. They also saw two close relatives die of smoking-related cancers at an early age.

I have a good friend who caught her son vaping and this is what she did. It worked.

+100000 NP

[Anonymous]

When I was 16 I smoked cigarettes and clove cigarettes with my friends.
I also tried pot and hash.
My world did not fall apart. I am a productive citizen who no longer drinks or does any drugs.
16 year olds are going to make a lot of decisions, many of them stupid.
I would, you know, talk to my teen about this and try to understand what they find attractive about vaping. I would try to convey that it generally makes people look like stupid losers who are just following the pack rather than people who are thoughtful and who care about their health.
Does your teen have the ability to do other things that seem adult? Like Drive, have a job, etc. They are at an age where they want to do things that differentiates them from children and I imagine that is part of the appeal of vaping.

[Anonymous]

PS those of you who plan to search your kid’s room and try to supervise them at every moment, do you expect your teen to ever leave the house to go to college, have their own home? What will happen then without you there as enforcer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PS those of you who plan to search your kid’s room and try to supervise them at every moment, do you expect your teen to ever leave the house to go to college, have their own home? What will happen then without you there as enforcer?

Of course you can't control what's going on at college, and I know my son has tried things while in college, but at least they're a little older and more mature at that point. Not fully mature of course, but my kid has a bit more sense now at 20 than he did at 16.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would move. This is what’s going to happen in liberal cities. Fwiw a 12 year old in my child’s school was just suspended for vaping. My kid won’t even go in the school bathroom and this is a rich school in Arlington. Can’t imagine what the LSES schools are like. From what my friends say who have kids who go there, even worse.

This is what is going on in conservative cities as well. Go hide in any small town in the south or midwest, and watch the opioid crisis. Teens vape. Even the most precious of angels try it.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like it's time for you to move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PS those of you who plan to search your kid’s room and try to supervise them at every moment, do you expect your teen to ever leave the house to go to college, have their own home? What will happen then without you there as enforcer?

I know this is hard for some of you to believe. But not all kids rebel. Some kids actually trust their parents and don't want to ruin their own lives. My sister and I were like this as a teens/young adults, so were my husband and his siblings. Not to mention that vaping is disgusting, and kids who run in competitive academic and athletic circles do not view it as cool. Its just something those "other" kids do.