Reply to Found out my 16 year old is vaping

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My teen knows his life as he knows it would end if we catch him.  Done.  No phone.  No money.  No being alone in the house, ever.  Rides to school and home with a parent.  No seeing friends.  Regular search of rooms and bags with no notice.  Done.  We have told my kids this over and over again.  They also saw two close relatives die of smoking-related cancers at an early age.

I have a good friend who caught her son vaping and this is what she did.  It worked.[/quote]

This is so stupid. You can educate your kids and hope they make good decisions but the threats like this are over the top. They are teens. They try things and make mistakes sometimes. [/quote]

You are the problem. Kids need boundaries and parents to enforce so they know what is and isn't acceptable. Permissive parenting is a poison.[/quote]

It's not permissive.  You can set expectations and give consequences for what you KNOW ABOUT.  But teens can do so much stuff that you never find out.  You need to teach them, as well, which is much harder than just giving consequences.[/quote]

So you shouldn’t communicate your expectations about vaping unless you know they’re doing it?  Huh?

We know vaping is everywhere.  Yes teach them and also make it clear it will not be tolerated.  I am not an overly harsh parent and this is an issue that’s different.[/quote]

That's not what I wrote. I said set clear expectations and impose consequences when they get caught. But it is so easy to do stuff out of your sight that you will never, ever know about. You can't punish what you don't discover. That's why you have to spend time teaching and talking. So that you hope they make good choices when you aren't there. [/quote]

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