Engagement Ring upgrade

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We upgraded mine at 15 years because the original was 1/3 ct—that’s all two broke 20 year olds could afford! New one is 1.5 ct and I wouldn’t want to go bigger for daily wear. I want to figure out something to do with the original tiny diamond but haven’t found a plan yet.

We were in the same boat but at my 20th anniversary I turned my 1/3 carat enagement ring into a solitaire necklace and for awhile wore it daily, but even that I don’t wear as much anymore. I wear a thin wedding band, diamond stud earrings, and that is it. I guess I am not a big jewelry person, but I do have some great memories of trips we have taken just the two of us (we’ve now been married 30 years).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one will notice or care. Seriously. When was the last time you noticed someone’s engagement ring?

I almost always do. I love looking at diamonds, and I love looking at the rings that have colored stones too. But my grandfather was a geologist and my first science fair project was about geodes, so maybe I'm not normal with this.

I always look at people’s rings! I love to see what they’ve chosen as a visible sign of their marriage- size doesn’t matter!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one will notice or care. Seriously. When was the last time you noticed someone’s engagement ring?

I almost always do. I love looking at diamonds, and I love looking at the rings that have colored stones too. But my grandfather was a geologist and my first science fair project was about geodes, so maybe I'm not normal with this.

I guess I’m just a geology nerd as well. I like looking at all kinds of stones hehe , including nice ones like diamonds. I notice engagement rings - they are nice. Whatever you buy - just make sure it is for the right reason and you can afford it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH andI are celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary and he offered to upgrade the stone in my engagement ring (1.25 ct) to a 2.5 ct. I thought it was a really sweet gesture, though I haven't ever been dissatisfied with my current stone. I'm not much a jewelry person and it made me wonder what's a standard size stone? I'm not sure if this changes a lot with age and income. I'm 40 and out HHI is $850K if it matters.

But then it’s not your engagement ring anymore?

My engagement ring is vintage - a mine cut in a Deco setting. It’s 1 carat. We can afford to upgrade, but then the symbolic and purely sentimental value would be less. Ymmv, of course.

I’d ask for something new - a special piece for special occasions. Or something thing to wear daily that doesn’t replace the original ring.

[Anonymous]

I have a 1.25 ct engagement ring with an eternity band, plus two additional eternity bands that I wear daily. Small-ish fingers (4.5 size) so they look substantial and are good for daily use.

I don't think I will ever upgrade but I have asked my DH for a 5 stone diamond (to represent our 5 person family) at some point in time.

HHI $600,000/40 years old/married 13 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one will notice or care. Seriously. When was the last time you noticed someone’s engagement ring?

I almost always do. I love looking at diamonds, and I love looking at the rings that have colored stones too. But my grandfather was a geologist and my first science fair project was about geodes, so maybe I'm not normal with this.

I think you’re normal. I love looking at people’s rings (and other jewelry). They’re pretty—it’s kind of the point!

I think there is a distinction to be made between noticing someone's jewelry because it's pretty, or paying close attention to, specifically, the size of someone's engagement ring. One is a normal interest in beautiful things, the other is shallow and status-focused. Since OP is asking specifically about "upgrading" her ring to a larger stone, I think people are mostly talking about the second kind of noticing.

I went with a nontraditional engagement ring that has several small stones, none of which are diamonds. I really, really love it and it is totally my style in a way that a classic diamond ring would not have been. I can appreciate a pretty diamond ring, it just never felt like me. It's always interesting to me how people comment on my ring, if they do. Some people will simply say "oh that's pretty" or "that's unusual," both of which are true and totally fine comments. But some women will be weirdly apologetic about it, like they feel sorry for me that I don't have a big shiny diamond like I'm supposed to. It's always a little weird to me when women assume my ring, which I helped design, is an embarrassment or disappointment to me. It says so much more about them than it does about me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have the money (you do) then you should do what you want.

My friends with smaller stones (1.5 ct or less) wear them more often. It's not about showing off or not showing off. It's about big rocks getting in the way. One friend loves and wears her 3 ct engagement ring everywhere after 20 years of marriage.

Congratulatoins and enjoy!

Only in America would somebody say 1.5 ct is a smaller stone.

[Anonymous]

Every time I have “invested” in a piece of jewelry, I wind up rarely wearing it and regret it later (i.e., a tank watch with diamond chips and a diamond tennis bracelet). Life is much more casual now than I was a young professional (I’m mid 50s) and I found that there is little I wear daily except an eternity wedding band (like some PPs, I stopped wearing my engagement ring years ago) and diamond studs, so as tempted as I am by beautiful jewelry, it is never worth it for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH andI are celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary and he offered to upgrade the stone in my engagement ring (1.25 ct) to a 2.5 ct. I thought it was a really sweet gesture, though I haven't ever been dissatisfied with my current stone. I'm not much a jewelry person and it made me wonder what's a standard size stone? I'm not sure if this changes a lot with age and income. I'm 40 and out HHI is $850K if it matters.

But then it’s not your engagement ring anymore?

My engagement ring is vintage - a mine cut in a Deco setting. It’s 1 carat. We can afford to upgrade, but then the symbolic and purely sentimental value would be less. Ymmv, of course.

I’d ask for something new - a special piece for special occasions. Or something thing to wear daily that doesn’t replace the original ring.

I'm totally with you on this. I love my engagement ring for the thought that DH put into it, for what it symbolizes about our early days together and the life we envisioned, and also just for the beauty of it as a ring. It's not big and fancy, but it's special for so many reasons. We can afford to "upgrade" but the idea of upgrading an engagement ring is not appealing to me at all. Why not get a new piece of jewelry to honor the anniversary?

[Anonymous]

I have a 2 ct. round, which is actually my least favorite cut. I wanted to upgrade next year and get a bigger and different cut, but I decided that I want to keep my original stone so I will add 2 more and make it a 3 stone ring.

[Anonymous]

I have a three-stone square setting, probably 1 ct total. It belonged to DH's grandmother and is nearly 100 years old. It never occurred to me to ask for bigger and better diamonds.

For our 10th anniversary, DH gave me the ring he originally bought to be my engagement ring, which is basically a couple of diamond chips in a cheap gold band - we were broke! I loved that he held on to it.

[Anonymous]

OP, this is why anniversary bands exist!

We are demographically very similar - 38 years old, celebrating our 10 year anniversary in a few years, and have a very similar household income. We can definitely afford to upgrade my 1.5 carat diamond, but at this point I’m too sentimental about it, and don’t want to part with it. Although I wear a decent amount of jewelry daily (diamond studs, a Love bracelet, a dressy watch), even I can’t say I want to wear a 2+ carat stone every day. We’ve decided on an anniversary band, either oval or emerald cut stones.

Whatever you make sure it’s something that you would really wear.

[Anonymous]

Definitely go with lab created. Did what DH paid for my 1.3 natural stone in the 90s, I could have a 3.5 lab created stone now. That’s why young people’s rings are so big now.

[Anonymous]

Stick with your original and take a look at estate jewelry or some of the items Tiffany's is selling in the "celebration" collection for something on your right hand. If you go the latter route, a platinum Schlumberger two row rope band with diamonds is a nice, subtle look.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have the money (you do) then you should do what you want.

My friends with smaller stones (1.5 ct or less) wear them more often. It's not about showing off or not showing off. It's about big rocks getting in the way. One friend loves and wears her 3 ct engagement ring everywhere after 20 years of marriage.

Congratulatoins and enjoy!

Only in America would somebody say 1.5 ct is a smaller stone.

You clearly haven’t been to any gatherings in my Indian family. 😂