"redshirting" - holding kids back a year just to gain an advantage

[Anonymous]

Bad idea these days! College coaches caught on a long time ago.

[Anonymous]

I think the only time it makes sense is if your kid just makes the cut off (like an August birthday) and even then - you know your kid and likely have enough opportunities by then to assess whether they are ready to go into K having only just turned 5. I will say, though, my kid just started PK4 at one of the schools many people call Big 3...and the class is very skewed heavily toward kids who either already turned 5 just prior to school starting or who turn 5 before December. I think, sadly, at this age 6 months to a year can make a huge difference in maturity and when you are sending a three year old who just turned three on admissions playdates with kids who are already 4 - the difference can be stark.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Generally done by awful people.

The truly awful people are those who have a precocious 4 year old with a December birthday who insist that their child is so much more advanced than any other 4 year old that they must be moved ahead. The child is usually an only child who has strong verbal skills from having only spoken with adults but zero social skills and no idea how to respond when another 4 year old takes their crayon since they haven’t experienced that horror in their curated play group. These kids will be a total mess by the end of elementary school.

You mean my child, who had an early fall birthday and in HS is doing great, all A's, Algebra starting in 6th, etc. Sorry to break it to you, some kids especially with the support of their parents can succeed and because those parents are invested in them, they thrive. It's easy to give up and hold the kid back, it's far harder to get them the supports they need to be successful. And, any decent paren too an only smart child will have them in a good preschool that prepares them academically and not a curated play group or play based program.

Early fall is not the same as December but I’m sure your only child is very special. Algebra in 6th grade is key, there is no time to do math later in life they must be the most accelerated 10 year old in school. My observation is that this type of kid has trouble socially by that age, however advanced and accelerated you may have pushed them to be.

[Anonymous]

A lot of nutcases posting here. Worry about your own kids. The cutoffs are arbitrary.

[Anonymous]

Super common practice in Baltimore private schools! There’s a whole grade called ‘pre-1st’ so redshirting is essentially built into the system.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the only time it makes sense is if your kid just makes the cut off (like an August birthday) and even then - you know your kid and likely have enough opportunities by then to assess whether they are ready to go into K having only just turned 5. I will say, though, my kid just started PK4 at one of the schools many people call Big 3...and the class is very skewed heavily toward kids who either already turned 5 just prior to school starting or who turn 5 before December. I think, sadly, at this age 6 months to a year can make a huge difference in maturity and when you are sending a three year old who just turned three on admissions playdates with kids who are already 4 - the difference can be stark.

Absolutely this; you are very lucky that your child was accepted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the only time it makes sense is if your kid just makes the cut off (like an August birthday) and even then - you know your kid and likely have enough opportunities by then to assess whether they are ready to go into K having only just turned 5. I will say, though, my kid just started PK4 at one of the schools many people call Big 3...and the class is very skewed heavily toward kids who either already turned 5 just prior to school starting or who turn 5 before December. I think, sadly, at this age 6 months to a year can make a huge difference in maturity and when you are sending a three year old who just turned three on admissions playdates with kids who are already 4 - the difference can be stark.

These schools want older kids as it’s easier for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of nutcases posting here. Worry about your own kids. The cutoffs are arbitrary.

The issue is when the younger kids are called immature or other things by teachers who are not being developmentally appropriate in their beliefs and don’t get it’s the older kids who have the maturity issues. Parents hold back for immature behavior or what they think is, then compare their older kids to younger kids and then say they are more mature when they aren’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Careful, you just entered a DCUM war zone. Prepare for the wave of parents who say they are doing what's best for their kids, completely ignoring that redshirting inevitably puts younger kids at a disadvantage. Holding your kid back, no matter how "shy" or "immature" he or she is, will always, always skew a class demographic.

I wish private schools would set a cut off and stick with it, but that would piss off too many monied families who don't want their kid to be on the younger side. Make April or May cut offs, I don't care, but let it be a real thing and stop creating grades that span 18+ months.

Okay crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s lovely how you talk about children. Really, you must be great.

This is pretty typical of anti-redshirters. They openly talk about how they gossip about children. I remember one of them who talked about how she took a picture of the kindergarten birthdays then volunteered in class so she could monitor the behavior of the older kids.

I was pretty neutral about this topic until I started reading DCUM and I realized how incredibly inappropriate the behavior of anti-redshirters is. It’s creepy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do get your child around for an extra year. Some parents crave this

Most parents check out by MS, and if not by HS so it really makes no sense.

I suppose this is in keeping with the parenting values of anti-redshirt posters, and so they assume everyone hates their own kids like they do.

[Anonymous]

Anti-redshirters don’t want the extra year with their kids at home.

[Anonymous]

If you are anti-redshirt, you do know that you don’t have to pay for private school, right? Like if you don’t like the admissions processes and decisions of a school, you know you don’t have to give them money and send your kid there? Do you understand how private schools operate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anti-redshirters don’t want the extra year with their kids at home.

You aren't getting an extra year at home with your kids. And, if you want extra time, have them move back after college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do get your child around for an extra year. Some parents crave this

Most parents check out by MS, and if not by HS so it really makes no sense.

I suppose this is in keeping with the parenting values of anti-redshirt posters, and so they assume everyone hates their own kids like they do.

No, it's the reality of life. I saw it a lot in MS where the very involved parents started to check out. Now that we are in HS I'm amazed at how little parenting there was. One parent was trying to convince me to let my Freshman ride with the older kids in a van to sports practices... hmmm.. what could go wrong with a bunch of 17-18 year olds and a few 14 year olds. She wasn't worried at all at 6 AM what could happen.