"redshirting" - holding kids back a year just to gain an advantage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Generally done by awful people.

The truly awful people are those who have a precocious 4 year old with a December birthday who insist that their child is so much more advanced than any other 4 year old that they must be moved ahead. The child is usually an only child who has strong verbal skills from having only spoken with adults but zero social skills and no idea how to respond when another 4 year old takes their crayon since they haven’t experienced that horror in their curated play group. These kids will be a total mess by the end of elementary school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Generally done by awful people.

The truly awful people are those who have a precocious 4 year old with a December birthday who insist that their child is so much more advanced than any other 4 year old that they must be moved ahead. The child is usually an only child who has strong verbal skills from having only spoken with adults but zero social skills and no idea how to respond when another 4 year old takes their crayon since they haven’t experienced that horror in their curated play group. These kids will be a total mess by the end of elementary school.

This... is super rare? Redshirting is common but I don't know anyone who pushed their kid into kindergarten at 4 unless they had a September birthday and they were encouraged to do so by the school and PK teachers.

Most of the people who object to redshirting have kids who meet the normal cutoffs. I have a kid who started school on time, at 5 years old, though she is on the young end because she's a summer birthday. I find redshirting summer birthdays fine but I get annoyed with redshirting kids older than that because I have an "on time" kid who suddenly seems young and immature when lined up next to kids who are 18 months older, and I want the behavioral expectations for my on time kid to reflect the normal behavior for 5/6 year olds, and not the behavior of kids who should probably be in 1st grade.

I've never encountered a kid who started school early but I've encountered numerous redshirted kids who skew the behavioral expectations for the rest of the grade.

For me it's not even about academics, that's individual. It's about making sure grade level expectations make sense for the cohort.

[Anonymous]

It’s lovely how you talk about children. Really, you must be great.

[Anonymous]

There is a whole thread on this in teens : about the parents who redshirt to give their 6-9th graders a sports advantage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, at kindergarten it's called "holding them back"

If you are really asking about redshirting which of course is for sports, many families do this in 8th grade. Want their kid a year older, bigger, stronger for all 4 years of HS.

"giving the gift of time"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Careful, you just entered a DCUM war zone. Prepare for the wave of parents who say they are doing what's best for their kids, completely ignoring that redshirting inevitably puts younger kids at a disadvantage. Holding your kid back, no matter how "shy" or "immature" he or she is, will always, always skew a class demographic.

I wish private schools would set a cut off and stick with it, but that would piss off too many monied families who don't want their kid to be on the younger side. Make April or May cut offs, I don't care, but let it be a real thing and stop creating grades that span 18+ months.

Same kids end up incessantly complaining about the immaturity of their classmates.

The kids held back are the immature ones as they are being based off the younger kids age in terms of maturity and it makes them look and feel more mature when they aren't.

Not always. In my kids class, thee were others who started late, more than a full year older, who were then "more athletic" and "stronger academically" than their peers. Well, ya, when your second grader is doing first grade work with other first graders, then of course they are going to appear smarter, stronger etc.

The problem is, a race to the bottom. Someone has to be the youngest in a grade, and when others are starting their kids late, it just pushes everyone else done. I really wish the schools would keep to the guidelines the publish, rather than allowing these 18-20 month spreads in a grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Careful, you just entered a DCUM war zone. Prepare for the wave of parents who say they are doing what's best for their kids, completely ignoring that redshirting inevitably puts younger kids at a disadvantage. Holding your kid back, no matter how "shy" or "immature" he or she is, will always, always skew a class demographic.

I wish private schools would set a cut off and stick with it, but that would piss off too many monied families who don't want their kid to be on the younger side. Make April or May cut offs, I don't care, but let it be a real thing and stop creating grades that span 18+ months.

Same kids end up incessantly complaining about the immaturity of their classmates.

The kids held back are the immature ones as they are being based off the younger kids age in terms of maturity and it makes them look and feel more mature when they aren't.

Not always. In my kids class, thee were others who started late, more than a full year older, who were then "more athletic" and "stronger academically" than their peers. Well, ya, when your second grader is doing first grade work with other first graders, then of course they are going to appear smarter, stronger etc.

The problem is, a race to the bottom. Someone has to be the youngest in a grade, and when others are starting their kids late, it just pushes everyone else done. I really wish the schools would keep to the guidelines the publish, rather than allowing these 18-20 month spreads in a grade.

Agreed. I'm not up in arms about it, if anything it's just an early reminder that a lot of people (in this area especially) will do anything to bend the rules to give themselves an edge. It's just how it is. But it is ridiculous to me that we even have the age cut-offs when apparently they are just suggestions. I don't think redshirting would bother people if it was truly just kids who were obviously not ready, or kids born right near the cutoff where it could go either way. But it's very much not just these kids.

Oh well. People love to push at boundaries and see what they can get away with, I guess. I still would have sent my kid on time even knowing what I now do about the culture of redshirting.

[Anonymous]

Everyone should hold their kid back. Make the cheaters hold their kids back 2 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Careful, you just entered a DCUM war zone. Prepare for the wave of parents who say they are doing what's best for their kids, completely ignoring that redshirting inevitably puts younger kids at a disadvantage. Holding your kid back, no matter how "shy" or "immature" he or she is, will always, always skew a class demographic.

I wish private schools would set a cut off and stick with it, but that would piss off too many monied families who don't want their kid to be on the younger side. Make April or May cut offs, I don't care, but let it be a real thing and stop creating grades that span 18+ months.

Same kids end up incessantly complaining about the immaturity of their classmates.

The kids held back are the immature ones as they are being based off the younger kids age in terms of maturity and it makes them look and feel more mature when they aren't.

Not always. In my kids class, thee were others who started late, more than a full year older, who were then "more athletic" and "stronger academically" than their peers. Well, ya, when your second grader is doing first grade work with other first graders, then of course they are going to appear smarter, stronger etc.

The problem is, a race to the bottom. Someone has to be the youngest in a grade, and when others are starting their kids late, it just pushes everyone else done. I really wish the schools would keep to the guidelines the publish, rather than allowing these 18-20 month spreads in a grade.

This. 6,000,000 times this.

[Anonymous]

You do get your child around for an extra year. Some parents crave this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Generally done by awful people.

The truly awful people are those who have a precocious 4 year old with a December birthday who insist that their child is so much more advanced than any other 4 year old that they must be moved ahead. The child is usually an only child who has strong verbal skills from having only spoken with adults but zero social skills and no idea how to respond when another 4 year old takes their crayon since they haven’t experienced that horror in their curated play group. These kids will be a total mess by the end of elementary school.

You mean my child, who had an early fall birthday and in HS is doing great, all A's, Algebra starting in 6th, etc. Sorry to break it to you, some kids especially with the support of their parents can succeed and because those parents are invested in them, they thrive. It's easy to give up and hold the kid back, it's far harder to get them the supports they need to be successful. And, any decent paren too an only smart child will have them in a good preschool that prepares them academically and not a curated play group or play based program.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You do get your child around for an extra year. Some parents crave this

Most parents check out by MS, and if not by HS so it really makes no sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, at kindergarten it's called "holding them back"

If you are really asking about redshirting which of course is for sports, many families do this in 8th grade. Want their kid a year older, bigger, stronger for all 4 years of HS.

"giving the gift of time"

You cannot gift time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You do get your child around for an extra year. Some parents crave this

Eh, most parents would be better off supporting their kids and doing what is right for them (which does not involve holding them back unnecessarily) so that they have a better relationship with their kids later in life and then they never "lose" their kids at all.

Also it's probably healthier to encourage a gap year than to keep your 6 yr old out of K.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do get your child around for an extra year. Some parents crave this

Eh, most parents would be better off supporting their kids and doing what is right for them (which does not involve holding them back unnecessarily) so that they have a better relationship with their kids later in life and then they never "lose" their kids at all.

Also it's probably healthier to encourage a gap year than to keep your 6 yr old out of K.

How is a gap year any better? Send your kids to college and if you did your job as a parent (baring SN), they will be just fine.