"redshirting" - holding kids back a year just to gain an advantage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get this. Our daughter’s birthday is in September. The school we had applied to last year suggested she needs to be redshirted. And I am against it. Now I see that some parents go out of their ways to do this

A few privates we looked at wanted me to hold my September kid back and couldn't give me any good reason given they had all top grade and test scores.

Okay, I assume you didn’t go then, correct?

Not to those schools. No need to apply to a school that doesn't want my smart younger child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get this. Our daughter’s birthday is in September. The school we had applied to last year suggested she needs to be redshirted. And I am against it. Now I see that some parents go out of their ways to do this

A few privates we looked at wanted me to hold my September kid back and couldn't give me any good reason given they had all top grade and test scores.

I think what you’re missing is the social aspect of this as your kid gets older. Most kids start in kindergarten with the top test scores but some are a year older than your child. How will that go when they start hitting puberty at different times, are trying out for the same sports teams, and are hitting milestones much later. I know we all want to believe that our kids are the very smartest and somehow they’re all above average but the youngest in the class are often at a disadvantage socially especially as they get into middle and high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get this. Our daughter’s birthday is in September. The school we had applied to last year suggested she needs to be redshirted. And I am against it. Now I see that some parents go out of their ways to do this

A few privates we looked at wanted me to hold my September kid back and couldn't give me any good reason given they had all top grade and test scores.

I think what you’re missing is the social aspect of this as your kid gets older. Most kids start in kindergarten with the top test scores but some are a year older than your child. How will that go when they start hitting puberty at different times, are trying out for the same sports teams, and are hitting milestones much later. I know we all want to believe that our kids are the very smartest and somehow they’re all above average but the youngest in the class are often at a disadvantage socially especially as they get into middle and high school.

... which is an argument against redshirting, not in favor of it.

If the school wants everyone to start K at 6th, they can just make that the cut off and offer a "pre-1st". It's weird to say the cut off for K is 5 and then insist that everyone redshirt. I don't get what the point of that is.

Also, in the PP's case, the effect of that policy works against a high performer. Because if a child has top test scores at 5 heading into K, but the school wants that child to wait a year before beginning K material, they are basically saying, "no we want to wait until the other kids in her age cohort have caught up." That's a weird thing for a school that claims to be academically rigorous to do.

[Anonymous]

Focusing so much on academics for a 5/6 yo is silly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is a July birthday in a NYC private and everyone is older. I think redshirting is ridiculous in so many respects and unfair.

They do just fine in public which lacks the redshirting.

Why do you pay to send your child to a school you think operates unfairly? That makes literally no sense, especially because you think everyone does fine in public.

Reading comprehension is not your strong suit.

Okay, so why do you pay for a private school you think is so unfair? Why can’t you answer the question?

DP. You are weirdly hostile about this.

Maybe there were other more important factors that drove PP’s decisions around schools.

Does it really matter what PP decides? You do what’s best for your own kids. No one is forcing you to send them to any specific private school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get this. Our daughter’s birthday is in September. The school we had applied to last year suggested she needs to be redshirted. And I am against it. Now I see that some parents go out of their ways to do this

A few privates we looked at wanted me to hold my September kid back and couldn't give me any good reason given they had all top grade and test scores.

I think what you’re missing is the social aspect of this as your kid gets older. Most kids start in kindergarten with the top test scores but some are a year older than your child. How will that go when they start hitting puberty at different times, are trying out for the same sports teams, and are hitting milestones much later. I know we all want to believe that our kids are the very smartest and somehow they’re all above average but the youngest in the class are often at a disadvantage socially especially as they get into middle and high school.

... which is an argument against redshirting, not in favor of it.

If the school wants everyone to start K at 6th, they can just make that the cut off and offer a "pre-1st". It's weird to say the cut off for K is 5 and then insist that everyone redshirt. I don't get what the point of that is.

Also, in the PP's case, the effect of that policy works against a high performer. Because if a child has top test scores at 5 heading into K, but the school wants that child to wait a year before beginning K material, they are basically saying, "no we want to wait until the other kids in her age cohort have caught up." That's a weird thing for a school that claims to be academically rigorous to do.

Again, this is not about academics. Most kids at private schools are getting top test scores. The schools are saying to the younger kids it would be better for you socially to wait a year so you’re not the little guy in middle school, academically you are all about the same and you’d be fine either way but as you get older there will be more important factors that the most pushy parents of little test takers haven’t considered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Careful, you just entered a DCUM war zone. Prepare for the wave of parents who say they are doing what's best for their kids, completely ignoring that redshirting inevitably puts younger kids at a disadvantage. Holding your kid back, no matter how "shy" or "immature" he or she is, will always, always skew a class demographic.

I wish private schools would set a cut off and stick with it, but that would piss off too many monied families who don't want their kid to be on the younger side. Make April or May cut offs, I don't care, but let it be a real thing and stop creating grades that span 18+ months.

+1

No one wants late 18 year olds and older in their schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Focusing so much on academics for a 5/6 yo is silly.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Careful, you just entered a DCUM war zone. Prepare for the wave of parents who say they are doing what's best for their kids, completely ignoring that redshirting inevitably puts younger kids at a disadvantage. Holding your kid back, no matter how "shy" or "immature" he or she is, will always, always skew a class demographic.

I wish private schools would set a cut off and stick with it, but that would piss off too many monied families who don't want their kid to be on the younger side. Make April or May cut offs, I don't care, but let it be a real thing and stop creating grades that span 18+ months.

+1

No one wants late 18 year olds and older in their schools.

Of course they do. What do you think happens when the cut off is 9/1 and your birthday is Sept/Oct? The kids will be late 18 by high school graduation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FFS there is no advantage. I was forced by school to hold mine back for maturity and delays. If you want advantages plan to strike it rich.

You were not forced, you choose to in order to go to a specific school. However, maybe the issue was a bad school fit.

How were you "forced" to start your kid later? Public school kids are all allowed to start on time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Careful, you just entered a DCUM war zone. Prepare for the wave of parents who say they are doing what's best for their kids, completely ignoring that redshirting inevitably puts younger kids at a disadvantage. Holding your kid back, no matter how "shy" or "immature" he or she is, will always, always skew a class demographic.

I wish private schools would set a cut off and stick with it, but that would piss off too many monied families who don't want their kid to be on the younger side. Make April or May cut offs, I don't care, but let it be a real thing and stop creating grades that span 18+ months.

+1

No one wants late 18 year olds and older in their schools.

Of course they do. What do you think happens when the cut off is 9/1 and your birthday is Sept/Oct? The kids will be late 18 by high school graduation.

+1

On-time Oct kids will be 18y8m at graduation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FFS there is no advantage. I was forced by school to hold mine back for maturity and delays. If you want advantages plan to strike it rich.

You were not forced, you choose to in order to go to a specific school. However, maybe the issue was a bad school fit.

How were you "forced" to start your kid later? Public school kids are all allowed to start on time.

Stop being obtuse. Offers can be contingent on certain placement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is a July birthday in a NYC private and everyone is older. I think redshirting is ridiculous in so many respects and unfair.

They do just fine in public which lacks the redshirting.

Why do you pay to send your child to a school you think operates unfairly? That makes literally no sense, especially because you think everyone does fine in public.

Reading comprehension is not your strong suit.

Okay, so why do you pay for a private school you think is so unfair? Why can’t you answer the question?

DP. You are weirdly hostile about this.

Maybe there were other more important factors that drove PP’s decisions around schools.

Does it really matter what PP decides? You do what’s best for your own kids. No one is forcing you to send them to any specific private school.

That is why I find these threads incomprehensible for private schools. If I squint my eyes and pretend I’m a very privileged person who gets easily aggrieved, I can sort of see the reasoning behind the people who get worked up about redshirting in public schools. I think it’s a silly thing to get upset about, as someone with non-redshirted public school kids, and the posters complaining about it always seem precious to me, but I can at least see it.

But I find the posters complaining about redshirting in private school completely bizarre. There are many private school options, and there is always public. Why, then, spend your lives obsessed over the schools that have admissions policies you hate? Why pay a lot of tuition to go to schools that you passionately believe are unfair? The anti-redshirt posters on these threads get really, really angry about the policies of the schools they pay to send their kids to. It just seems like there is an extremely obvious solution to their issue.

A few years ago there was an anti-redshirt thread from a mom who was seriously (!!!) complaining, I mean really really upset, because the expensive private school where she sent her kid had a school festival and her younger kindergartner was too small to ride the rides, which she blamed on redshirting. I will never forget that thread — I even remember where I was when I read it — because I found that poster so utterly incomprehensible. I just cannot imagine being a fully grown adult (which Jeff even said wasn’t a troll) and having that thought seriously go through my head. It was fascinating, in a way.

I guess in the end I do not understand the anti-redshirters who complain bitterly about redshirting in private. Why not just not go? Find a private school that doesn’t redshirt, or go to public? Do they understand that they don’t have to pay tuition money to schools they don’t like? That they don’t have to seek out and apply at places with admissions policies they despise? Why all the drama?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Careful, you just entered a DCUM war zone. Prepare for the wave of parents who say they are doing what's best for their kids, completely ignoring that redshirting inevitably puts younger kids at a disadvantage. Holding your kid back, no matter how "shy" or "immature" he or she is, will always, always skew a class demographic.

I wish private schools would set a cut off and stick with it, but that would piss off too many monied families who don't want their kid to be on the younger side. Make April or May cut offs, I don't care, but let it be a real thing and stop creating grades that span 18+ months.

+1

No one wants late 18 year olds and older in their schools.

Clearly the admissions committees of the elite private schools do.

[Anonymous]

Some people are fueled by grievances.