Rude kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Following up, I wonder how much of it is a class thing. Our kids attended a title one school in DC and we honestly never saw any kind of behavior like that. All of the kids were polite and respectful at all times.

I suspect what you are seeing is the result of over privileged children being spoiled. And I wonder if your own kids fall into the same category but you just can’t see it. It wouldn’t surprise me.

+1

Unfortunately, I agree with some of this. I have noticed this with kids who are spoiled and privileged. The parents are blind and don't think their kids would ever act like that but they do. They feel entitled.

The title one behavior you observe seems true for ES but seems to disappear by the time they get to HS.

The entitled kids’ behavior seems stable from ES to HS, and TBH my DH and I observe some cultures seem more permissive than others. Not sure why that is. DC sees the entitled rude behavior in the classroom as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a Girl Scout leader and see the same rude girls. I try to correct them or stop the rude comments or behavior but sometimes the parents are there and they giggle because they think their kid is cute or funny and not rude. I usually don’t talk to a girl specifically but tell the girls as a group what behavior I expect and to be kind, polite and respectful. But I have seen it in sports too. My girl is on the same sports teams with these Girl Scouts. Some parent coaches just let it roll off. It’s aggravating.

Yes! I see this at brownies too. And the moms are sitting right there. My kid is far from perfect so it’s not that I’m expecting little obedient robots but to just openly disrespect an adult and have the parents not say anything - whew.

At Girl Scouts I got really serious about enforcing the rule that only registered volunteers could be present unless it was a family event, because having to gently correct or redirect girls in front of their parents was impossible. I think all of the parents hate me now.

I think I need to do this

You may be able to fall back on Council rules. My Council prohibits adults who aren’t background-checked and registered from being present during official meetings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Following up, I wonder how much of it is a class thing. Our kids attended a title one school in DC and we honestly never saw any kind of behavior like that. All of the kids were polite and respectful at all times.

I suspect what you are seeing is the result of over privileged children being spoiled. And I wonder if your own kids fall into the same category but you just can’t see it. It wouldn’t surprise me.

+1

Unfortunately, I agree with some of this. I have noticed this with kids who are spoiled and privileged. The parents are blind and don't think their kids would ever act like that but they do. They feel entitled.

The title one behavior you observe seems true for ES but seems to disappear by the time they get to HS.

The entitled kids’ behavior seems stable from ES to HS, and TBH my DH and I observe some cultures seem more permissive than others. Not sure why that is. DC sees the entitled rude behavior in the classroom as well.

It’s not a race thing if that’s what you’re trying to say, which you clearly are

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Following up, I wonder how much of it is a class thing. Our kids attended a title one school in DC and we honestly never saw any kind of behavior like that. All of the kids were polite and respectful at all times.

I suspect what you are seeing is the result of over privileged children being spoiled. And I wonder if your own kids fall into the same category but you just can’t see it. It wouldn’t surprise me.

+1

Unfortunately, I agree with some of this. I have noticed this with kids who are spoiled and privileged. The parents are blind and don't think their kids would ever act like that but they do. They feel entitled.

The title one behavior you observe seems true for ES but seems to disappear by the time they get to HS.

The entitled kids’ behavior seems stable from ES to HS, and TBH my DH and I observe some cultures seem more permissive than others. Not sure why that is. DC sees the entitled rude behavior in the classroom as well.

It’s not a race thing if that’s what you’re trying to say, which you clearly are

My family is mixed Chinese and white, and I can confidently say that 1st generation mainland Chinese kids and white kids from rich families are the rudest. It’s a combination of cultural norms and privilege.

[Anonymous]

There are middle class kids that feel entitled too. It’s not necessarily a class thing, it’s an attitude. I think some of it is learned from social media. It’s funny or cute. Gets laughs or likes.

Parent are not putting a stop to it or may not even know it is happening because they drop kids off and do not volunteer.

Many kids feel entitled and are spoiled. Middle class kids are soiled too. There are many kids who live in projects and have iPhone 14s. I still have the iPhone X.

It’s the parents, regardless of class or race. Parents are rude and raise rude kids.

End of rant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If kids go into the fridge or pantry without asking the first time I tell them "In this house, guests need to ask an adult who lives here if they want something to eat or drink."

The second time I tell them "Remember what I said about asking if you want something? If you continue to help yourself you won't be invited back."

If they do it again they're never welcome back. My kids know they have "school friends" who they can enjoy playing with at school but aren't welcome at our house because they won't follow rules. Thems the breaks. Actions have consequences.

Yikes. You sound very scary and controlling. Sure it’s impolite for a child to start rooting around your kitchen, but I would bet a lot that they’re scared to ask your permission since you sound very cold and rigid. Maybe they thought it was rude to interrupt whatever you were doing or maybe they were starving but you didn’t offer them anything. They were looking for goldfish, not vaping in your bathroom for goodness sake.

Found the entitled parent!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If kids go into the fridge or pantry without asking the first time I tell them "In this house, guests need to ask an adult who lives here if they want something to eat or drink."

The second time I tell them "Remember what I said about asking if you want something? If you continue to help yourself you won't be invited back."

If they do it again they're never welcome back. My kids know they have "school friends" who they can enjoy playing with at school but aren't welcome at our house because they won't follow rules. Thems the breaks. Actions have consequences.

Yikes. You sound very scary and controlling. Sure it’s impolite for a child to start rooting around your kitchen, but I would bet a lot that they’re scared to ask your permission since you sound very cold and rigid. Maybe they thought it was rude to interrupt whatever you were doing or maybe they were starving but you didn’t offer them anything. They were looking for goldfish, not vaping in your bathroom for goodness sake.

+1 bottom line it is just not productive to talk to kids (or anyone) like this. Threats and ultimatums are not a respectful way to deal with people and if anything kids deserve more respect, not less, since they are vulnerable. So now you end up with a situation where you’ve issued a challenge (“if you continue to help yourself you won’t be invited back.”) Most kids will placate you to your face and then ridicule you and mock you behind your back - in other words, no lessons learned and no behavior improvement. Then some kids will defy you and you’ve painted yourself into a ridiculous corner of “some friends are just school friends” which of course teaches your own kids to be petty and judgmental.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If kids go into the fridge or pantry without asking the first time I tell them "In this house, guests need to ask an adult who lives here if they want something to eat or drink."

The second time I tell them "Remember what I said about asking if you want something? If you continue to help yourself you won't be invited back."

If they do it again they're never welcome back. My kids know they have "school friends" who they can enjoy playing with at school but aren't welcome at our house because they won't follow rules. Thems the breaks. Actions have consequences.

Yikes. You sound very scary and controlling. Sure it’s impolite for a child to start rooting around your kitchen, but I would bet a lot that they’re scared to ask your permission since you sound very cold and rigid. Maybe they thought it was rude to interrupt whatever you were doing or maybe they were starving but you didn’t offer them anything. They were looking for goldfish, not vaping in your bathroom for goodness sake.

Found the entitled parent!

In this case the parent who is expecting her kids friends to kiss the ring is actually the one being entitled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If kids go into the fridge or pantry without asking the first time I tell them "In this house, guests need to ask an adult who lives here if they want something to eat or drink."

The second time I tell them "Remember what I said about asking if you want something? If you continue to help yourself you won't be invited back."

If they do it again they're never welcome back. My kids know they have "school friends" who they can enjoy playing with at school but aren't welcome at our house because they won't follow rules. Thems the breaks. Actions have consequences.

Yikes. You sound very scary and controlling. Sure it’s impolite for a child to start rooting around your kitchen, but I would bet a lot that they’re scared to ask your permission since you sound very cold and rigid. Maybe they thought it was rude to interrupt whatever you were doing or maybe they were starving but you didn’t offer them anything. They were looking for goldfish, not vaping in your bathroom for goodness sake.

Found the entitled parent!

+1

It’s just downright rude to go to someone’s house and root around for anything, let alone goldfish. It is not your house. Period.

Do you teach your kids that? If you are hungry, root around someone’s house for food? But the kids is too scared to ask. Really? You got to be kidding. Entitlement for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If kids go into the fridge or pantry without asking the first time I tell them "In this house, guests need to ask an adult who lives here if they want something to eat or drink."

The second time I tell them "Remember what I said about asking if you want something? If you continue to help yourself you won't be invited back."

If they do it again they're never welcome back. My kids know they have "school friends" who they can enjoy playing with at school but aren't welcome at our house because they won't follow rules. Thems the breaks. Actions have consequences.

Yikes. You sound very scary and controlling. Sure it’s impolite for a child to start rooting around your kitchen, but I would bet a lot that they’re scared to ask your permission since you sound very cold and rigid. Maybe they thought it was rude to interrupt whatever you were doing or maybe they were starving but you didn’t offer them anything. They were looking for goldfish, not vaping in your bathroom for goodness sake.

+1 bottom line it is just not productive to talk to kids (or anyone) like this. Threats and ultimatums are not a respectful way to deal with people and if anything kids deserve more respect, not less, since they are vulnerable. So now you end up with a situation where you’ve issued a challenge (“if you continue to help yourself you won’t be invited back.”) Most kids will placate you to your face and then ridicule you and mock you behind your back - in other words, no lessons learned and no behavior improvement. Then some kids will defy you and you’ve painted yourself into a ridiculous corner of “some friends are just school friends” which of course teaches your own kids to be petty and judgmental.

+1. This is a guest in your house who is not a mind reader and made a mistake. I can’t even believe you would threaten a child/friend of your kid over something this minor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If kids go into the fridge or pantry without asking the first time I tell them "In this house, guests need to ask an adult who lives here if they want something to eat or drink."

The second time I tell them "Remember what I said about asking if you want something? If you continue to help yourself you won't be invited back."

If they do it again they're never welcome back. My kids know they have "school friends" who they can enjoy playing with at school but aren't welcome at our house because they won't follow rules. Thems the breaks. Actions have consequences.

Yikes. You sound very scary and controlling. Sure it’s impolite for a child to start rooting around your kitchen, but I would bet a lot that they’re scared to ask your permission since you sound very cold and rigid. Maybe they thought it was rude to interrupt whatever you were doing or maybe they were starving but you didn’t offer them anything. They were looking for goldfish, not vaping in your bathroom for goodness sake.

Found the entitled parent!

In this case the parent who is expecting her kids friends to kiss the ring is actually the one being entitled.

Imagine being so clueless to think that having basic manners mean kissing the ring of a parent. Wow lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If kids go into the fridge or pantry without asking the first time I tell them "In this house, guests need to ask an adult who lives here if they want something to eat or drink."

The second time I tell them "Remember what I said about asking if you want something? If you continue to help yourself you won't be invited back."

If they do it again they're never welcome back. My kids know they have "school friends" who they can enjoy playing with at school but aren't welcome at our house because they won't follow rules. Thems the breaks. Actions have consequences.

Yikes. You sound very scary and controlling. Sure it’s impolite for a child to start rooting around your kitchen, but I would bet a lot that they’re scared to ask your permission since you sound very cold and rigid. Maybe they thought it was rude to interrupt whatever you were doing or maybe they were starving but you didn’t offer them anything. They were looking for goldfish, not vaping in your bathroom for goodness sake.

Found the entitled parent!

+1

It’s just downright rude to go to someone’s house and root around for anything, let alone goldfish. It is not your house. Period.

Do you teach your kids that? If you are hungry, root around someone’s house for food? But the kids is too scared to ask. Really? You got to be kidding. Entitlement for sure.

I don’t see it as entitlement at all. I agree with you as an adult that it is rude to root around someone’s house for food. But how would kids know this? They’re probably used to going and getting themselves a snack at home without asking. Maybe they just think they are supposed to be independent, just as they wouldn’t need to ask your permission to go use the bathroom. You are perceiving this as rudeness when it’s much more likely a misunderstanding of expectations. Just offer them a snack and explain what’s available. Why is this so hard? Why are you looking to be angry at a little kid and threaten them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If kids go into the fridge or pantry without asking the first time I tell them "In this house, guests need to ask an adult who lives here if they want something to eat or drink."

The second time I tell them "Remember what I said about asking if you want something? If you continue to help yourself you won't be invited back."

If they do it again they're never welcome back. My kids know they have "school friends" who they can enjoy playing with at school but aren't welcome at our house because they won't follow rules. Thems the breaks. Actions have consequences.

Yikes. You sound very scary and controlling. Sure it’s impolite for a child to start rooting around your kitchen, but I would bet a lot that they’re scared to ask your permission since you sound very cold and rigid. Maybe they thought it was rude to interrupt whatever you were doing or maybe they were starving but you didn’t offer them anything. They were looking for goldfish, not vaping in your bathroom for goodness sake.

Found the entitled parent!

In this case the parent who is expecting her kids friends to kiss the ring is actually the one being entitled.

Imagine being so clueless to think that having basic manners mean kissing the ring of a parent. Wow lol.

Imagine being so insecure that you stand in the way of your child’s friendships if these kids don’t salute you.

[Anonymous]

Larlo, in this house we don’t insult people…we ask permission to get snacks…if you can’t follow these house rules you won’t be invited back.’ And reinforce with parents at drop off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If kids go into the fridge or pantry without asking the first time I tell them "In this house, guests need to ask an adult who lives here if they want something to eat or drink."

The second time I tell them "Remember what I said about asking if you want something? If you continue to help yourself you won't be invited back."

If they do it again they're never welcome back. My kids know they have "school friends" who they can enjoy playing with at school but aren't welcome at our house because they won't follow rules. Thems the breaks. Actions have consequences.

Yikes. You sound very scary and controlling. Sure it’s impolite for a child to start rooting around your kitchen, but I would bet a lot that they’re scared to ask your permission since you sound very cold and rigid. Maybe they thought it was rude to interrupt whatever you were doing or maybe they were starving but you didn’t offer them anything. They were looking for goldfish, not vaping in your bathroom for goodness sake.

Found the entitled parent!

In this case the parent who is expecting her kids friends to kiss the ring is actually the one being entitled.

Imagine being so clueless to think that having basic manners mean kissing the ring of a parent. Wow lol.

Yes I freely admit I missed the chapter in the “basic manners” book where it says it’s ok to tell children things like “do this or you’re never invited back.”