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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If kids go into the fridge or pantry without asking the first time I tell them "In this house, guests need to ask an adult who lives here if they want something to eat or drink."

The second time I tell them "Remember what I said about asking if you want something? If you continue to help yourself you won't be invited back."

If they do it again they're never welcome back. My kids know they have "school friends" who they can enjoy playing with at school but aren't welcome at our house because they won't follow rules. Thems the breaks. Actions have consequences. [/quote]

Yikes. You sound very scary and controlling. Sure it’s impolite for a child to start rooting around your kitchen, but I would bet a lot that they’re scared to ask your permission since you sound very cold and rigid. Maybe they thought it was rude to interrupt whatever you were doing or maybe they were starving but you didn’t offer them anything. They were looking for goldfish, not vaping in your bathroom for goodness sake. [/quote]

+1 bottom line it is just not productive to talk to kids (or anyone) like this. Threats and ultimatums are not a respectful way to deal with people and if anything kids deserve more respect, not less, since they are vulnerable. So now you end up with a situation where you’ve issued a challenge (“if you continue to help yourself you won’t be invited back.”) Most kids will placate you to your face and then ridicule you and mock you behind your back - in other words, no lessons learned and no behavior improvement. Then some kids will defy you and you’ve painted yourself into a ridiculous corner of “some friends are just school friends” which of course teaches your own kids to be petty and judgmental. [/quote]

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