Rude kids

[Anonymous]

We have close friends from my DC’s class where we carpool and do after school playdates a lot. I have coached sports and led other activities so I think I have a good idea of age appropriate behavior but these kids are so rude. They talk back, put my DC down, will just open my fridge/pantry and grab a snack. I correct the behavior and it keeps happening. I am stumped - my usual parenting tactics just don’t work with these kids, or they work for a brief period and they keep reverting to it.

My DCs enjoy playing with despite the rudeness but this is exhausting. Would you be direct with the parents about this? Other parents have observed the same thing so I know it’s not just me.

[Anonymous]

I am a Girl Scout leader and see the same rude girls. I try to correct them or stop the rude comments or behavior but sometimes the parents are there and they giggle because they think their kid is cute or funny and not rude. I usually don’t talk to a girl specifically but tell the girls as a group what behavior I expect and to be kind, polite and respectful. But I have seen it in sports too. My girl is on the same sports teams with these Girl Scouts. Some parent coaches just let it roll off. It’s aggravating.

[Anonymous]

Yes, lots of rude, foul-mouthed, unkind kids out there. They use swear words constantly in elementary school. It’s sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a Girl Scout leader and see the same rude girls. I try to correct them or stop the rude comments or behavior but sometimes the parents are there and they giggle because they think their kid is cute or funny and not rude. I usually don’t talk to a girl specifically but tell the girls as a group what behavior I expect and to be kind, polite and respectful. But I have seen it in sports too. My girl is on the same sports teams with these Girl Scouts. Some parent coaches just let it roll off. It’s aggravating.

Yes! I see this at brownies too. And the moms are sitting right there. My kid is far from perfect so it’s not that I’m expecting little obedient robots but to just openly disrespect an adult and have the parents not say anything - whew.

[Anonymous]

I see the poor manners here too. The parents don’t want to correct their kids for whatever reason. One mom though is more militant and her DC, who I can easily see would be completely wild, is at least more aware.

[Anonymous]

“ when you are at my house, you need to wait for me to hand out snacks.” “ when you are with me I expect. X type of behavior.”

Don’t tiptoe around behavior, address it firmly and head on.

[Anonymous]

I think kids with older siblings are a lot ruder and obnoxious than onlys or oldest kids. Just an observation.

[Anonymous]

I would not invite them over for playdates, even if your kid enjoys them. Carpool if needed and stay friendly… but I wouldn’t pursue these relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think kids with older siblings are a lot ruder and obnoxious than onlys or oldest kids. Just an observation.

I have observed this too, especially with the back talk. I also think the types of shows they are allowed to watch affect this. My DD (7) has some buddies who watch shows that are aimed more at tweens. Even in the Disney channel-type stuff, it's not the kind of speech or mannerisms I want a first grader modeling. I had to really crack down on the screen time over the summer and it has made a difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a Girl Scout leader and see the same rude girls. I try to correct them or stop the rude comments or behavior but sometimes the parents are there and they giggle because they think their kid is cute or funny and not rude. I usually don’t talk to a girl specifically but tell the girls as a group what behavior I expect and to be kind, polite and respectful. But I have seen it in sports too. My girl is on the same sports teams with these Girl Scouts. Some parent coaches just let it roll off. It’s aggravating.

Yes! I see this at brownies too. And the moms are sitting right there. My kid is far from perfect so it’s not that I’m expecting little obedient robots but to just openly disrespect an adult and have the parents not say anything - whew.

At Girl Scouts I got really serious about enforcing the rule that only registered volunteers could be present unless it was a family event, because having to gently correct or redirect girls in front of their parents was impossible. I think all of the parents hate me now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think kids with older siblings are a lot ruder and obnoxious than onlys or oldest kids. Just an observation.

+1 It's like "age appropriate" behavior gets fast-forwarded or something. Every kid who has ever taught mine a swear word, or sassy mannerism, or rude behavior, has big siblings at home. It makes sense but it's still frustrating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a Girl Scout leader and see the same rude girls. I try to correct them or stop the rude comments or behavior but sometimes the parents are there and they giggle because they think their kid is cute or funny and not rude. I usually don’t talk to a girl specifically but tell the girls as a group what behavior I expect and to be kind, polite and respectful. But I have seen it in sports too. My girl is on the same sports teams with these Girl Scouts. Some parent coaches just let it roll off. It’s aggravating.

Yes! I see this at brownies too. And the moms are sitting right there. My kid is far from perfect so it’s not that I’m expecting little obedient robots but to just openly disrespect an adult and have the parents not say anything - whew.

At Girl Scouts I got really serious about enforcing the rule that only registered volunteers could be present unless it was a family event, because having to gently correct or redirect girls in front of their parents was impossible. I think all of the parents hate me now.

I think I need to do this

[Anonymous]

If kids go into the fridge or pantry without asking the first time I tell them "In this house, guests need to ask an adult who lives here if they want something to eat or drink."

The second time I tell them "Remember what I said about asking if you want something? If you continue to help yourself you won't be invited back."

If they do it again they're never welcome back. My kids know they have "school friends" who they can enjoy playing with at school but aren't welcome at our house because they won't follow rules. Thems the breaks. Actions have consequences.

[Anonymous]

Somehow, I doubt all of your own kids are perfect little angels

[Anonymous]

Following up, I wonder how much of it is a class thing. Our kids attended a title one school in DC and we honestly never saw any kind of behavior like that. All of the kids were polite and respectful at all times.

I suspect what you are seeing is the result of over privileged children being spoiled. And I wonder if your own kids fall into the same category but you just can’t see it. It wouldn’t surprise me.