Husband didn’t come home

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Call the police wherever you are located. They will ask for a lot of information so be prepared with the following:

- what was he wearing when you last saw him
- where was the last place you had actual knowledge of him being
- what were his plans - where did you expect him to go after that
- what are the names and phone numbers of the people you expected him to be with. If you don’t know because this was a work event, what is a contact for who would know or who could get that information
- when did you expect to see him
- vehicle information - make, model, tag, VIN, title
- names and phone numbers of all friends
- where is the next place or places you expect him to be
- how is his mental health
- any possibility he has an affair partner and what is that information

This is just a start. Also hospitals won’t necessarily tell you if someone is there. So don’t believe that you got good information.

I just had to do this a week ago and this is everything I remember. I hope this ends well for you.

PP, I'm so sorry you had to do this yourself and hope things turned out OK. -- DP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately the DC police will likely think your husband is having an affair.

If you have any chance of pushing past their default of doing as little as possible you need to be very assertive and direct that he is not having an affair, this is unprecedented, etc etc. they still probably won’t do much but run tags, see who was booked last night, and do their own check of hospitals.

You could try a private investigator if the police give you the uninterested vibe… depends on means.

Well…he might be.

Unfortunately this was my first thought.

Folks, please, let's not derail this into yet another DCUM affair thread. This is an immediate and urgent situation and OP has already said how extremely out of character this is. Please take her at her word on that right now, and just leave the speculation alone. Our 'first thoughts" about anything (other than how she might locate him) are not helpful in any way at this moment.

+1
Unless someone has helpful information, like the 911 dispatcher above, or positive thoughts to add, please refrain. Treat others in a crisis as you would want yourself to be treated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately the DC police will likely think your husband is having an affair.

If you have any chance of pushing past their default of doing as little as possible you need to be very assertive and direct that he is not having an affair, this is unprecedented, etc etc. they still probably won’t do much but run tags, see who was booked last night, and do their own check of hospitals.

You could try a private investigator if the police give you the uninterested vibe… depends on means.

Well…he might be.

Even if so, it would be extremely weird not to send an excuse text. Just ghosting his family with no prior history is super weird.

I'd be reaching out to his coworkers.

Reach out to police first so they at least have this on their radar ASAP (even if they won't do a lot initially). After that, reach out to people at his work.

[Anonymous]

My husband did this once in 20 years, also after a work dinner. He never drinks and for some reason decided to keep up with his coworkers so after dinner they went to the bar next door until it closed at 2am. He could hardly walk so he go in the back seat of his car and slept it off. I was absolutely panicked. His phone was dead. I had a 3yo and was pregnant with our second. This was pre-uber days though so idk if this would be likely to happen now that it's so easy to get a ride home on demand.

[Anonymous]

OP- log into your phone carrier's website and get his phone records. You will be able to see the time and numbers of his recent incoming and out going calls and texts.

Call whoever he communicated last and Im so sorry in advance if this leads you to uncover an affair.

[Anonymous]

Also, if you can gain access to his emails and/or social media, now would be an appropriate time to do so.

[Anonymous]

PP here who made the list of info to gather for the police. I forgot something.

Check spending. Check credit cards, withdrawals, Apple Pay or whatever else you use. Is there any spending and is there a difference in spending patterns. I found no spending for three days which was extremely unusual - hadn’t happened in three years.

Others mentioned tracking apps but be sure you have that info - where’s the last time you husbands phone was picked up.

[Anonymous]

Call his work place, call his coworkers, call his boss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Call his work place, call his coworkers, call his boss.

This.

[Anonymous]

OP did he make it to work? If not call the police. Do you know where his car is? Look for that. If you have any of his coworkers #s who were at the event last night CALL them now.

[Anonymous]

OP it's been 4 hours since you posted any update now? Do you need help searching for him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP it's been 4 hours since you posted any update now? Do you need help searching for him?

+1. If you really are dealing with a missing person, post info here, Popville, and other local blogs. We’ll help.

[Anonymous]

I think OP found him by now, and won't be back to tell us the details.

[Anonymous]

One more thing you might check (I know this is a long shot) is your EZ Pass account if he uses it do drive to/from work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband did this once in 20 years, also after a work dinner. He never drinks and for some reason decided to keep up with his coworkers so after dinner they went to the bar next door until it closed at 2am. He could hardly walk so he go in the back seat of his car and slept it off. I was absolutely panicked. His phone was dead. I had a 3yo and was pregnant with our second. This was pre-uber days though so idk if this would be likely to happen now that it's so easy to get a ride home on demand.

I once fell to the ground leaving a bar and having drank only 3 drinks. I was unable to move and pick up the phone that was ringing. I woke up about 3 hours later. I have no medical conditions and I can drink a lot more than I did that night.
I have no idea what happened that night.
I have had two people disappear like that. One I found at home and completely out of it, but sobered up.