Next Door Neighbor's Kid Has Obsession With DD
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Anonymous
| I would start with a conversation with her daughter. I can remember being that age and being so concerned about hurting a guys feelings that I never had that conversation in which I said “I’m not interested and I don’t want you trying to change my mind.” There’s a big difference between a boy that think a hels the star of a teen rom com and the girl will see how great he is, and one who is creepy/violent. If she thinks it’s the latter, I would deal with it differently. If she’s just avoiding running into him because OMG cringe it’s so awkward, then I think this is a really good time for her to learn how to have that conversation and draw those boundaries. |
Anonymous
+1 to add that yes, keep screenshots of all texts, keep any physical communication like notes, and she should not answer any phone calls -- in fact has she already blocked him on phone and text? If not, why not? He needs to be blocked, just for starteers. Screenshots etc. are so you have something to show his parents if they don't believe you. And to show a lawyer if things ever escalate. I hate to say that, but it's possible. You, parent, need to be the one to retain screenshots of texts, logs of how many times he's called, notes,etc., not your DD. She does'nt need the mental stress of being in charge of keeping evidence but it needs to be kept. If she has past texts in her phone from him, she neeeds to do screenshots and send you those. OP, is he also hassling her AT school? Not clear to me if this is all happening because they're neiighbors or because they also interact at school. Are they at the same school--? If so, your DD and you together REALLY MUST go to the school counselor's office ASAP and ensure they know with crystal clarity what's going on and that this attention is unwelcome and must stop in school entirely. I would not leave that office until the counselor or a principal or someone had committed to telling the boy to stop, if he's doing any of this on school time/school grounds. If something happens at school you need to hold the school accountable but that can't happen until the school is alerted to this. Be aware, your DD might balk at "tattling" on him to the counselor's office but now is your time to teach your DD that it is not tattling or ratting him out and her feelings are legit here, and the school has a duty to protect her. It is not tattling or "getting someone in trouble" unduly if she feels threatened and afraid--which clearly she does. He does not have to utter a single threatening statement for her to feel under threat. |
Anonymous
How did it start? How come he came into her orbit or vice-versa? Who is the common friend? |
Anonymous
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My kids used to tell other kids in school that we (parents) were very strict and no dating was allowed. Same excuse was used for not being allowed to vape, drink, hook up, stay out late for parties, be on social media, be on snapchat etc. We were their " get- out- of - awkward - situations" card.
- Indian-American parent |
Anonymous
Uhhhh, they are next door neighbors. |
Anonymous
Important question as knowing their ages vastly affects how nefarious the behavior is. |
Anonymous
| I'd have your DH talk to him. |
Anonymous
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Ugh. I think he’s mentally ill. I had a stalker starting then for like 8 years. Turns out I wasn’t the only one. The only thing that appears to work is a transfer of affection to another object (and that’s the worst part, she’s become an object to indulge his illness).
To this day I sometimes wonder/worry if he’ll find me and show up where I live. |