Rude to clean in-law's summer cabin?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends entirely on who pays for the cabin.

+1. And all of the bills. Taxes, utilities, maintenance

I’m guessing OP and spouse chip in 50% but the deed is 100% in the In-laws name, with the promise OP’s spouse will inherit it.

[Anonymous]

You can't throw anything out. What you can do is.put things in a dresser drawer or closet for safekeeping, so that the kids don't get into them.

[Anonymous]

“Let me know if you’d like help or would like me to redecorate and organize the cabin.”

[Anonymous]

We decluttered my inlaws home - they were holding onto so many old toys thinking that DH wanted them, that our kids would play with them. But they're broken, rusty, etc., so we came over one day, boxed them all up, said thank you, drove off with them, and threw them out. Then we hired a cleaning service as a "thank you" gift.

[Anonymous]

When you see your in-laws have DH say, “How would you like it if we cleaned up and decluttered?” They are his family. If they agree, then do it.

[Anonymous]

DH should tell them there’s no space to unpack and ask if they’re okay with you guys boxing up some things for storage so you can have some room. That might be the nudge they need

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh man my parents have this at their lake cabin. When I ask to get rid of a lamp, mom says no bc she is going to fix it. She has been saying that for 20 years.

You just grin and bear it. Or stop going. You can’t move/trash her stuff even if it is objectively junk.

I sometimes ask if I can have X so that I can fix and use it. I toss it the moment I leave the house.

[Anonymous]

As PP have said, I’d start off slow. Throw away stuff like broken crayons and broken toys. Put the broken lamps in the back of a closet and some other junk in a closet. If no one mentions it for a year, take it to the dump. But go slowly so that no one notices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you okay with them decluttering your home during a visit based on what they consider unnecessary or an unwanted nic nack?

Personally if anyone came into my home and went through it uninvited and threw out my belongings because to them they were too tacky or too old or unnecessary, they wouldn't be visiting again.

I doubt most of these posters telling you to go for it would be okay with their inlaws going through their houses and getting rid of stuff.

That depends. Is there a group of people who have been staying there, invited, for the last 20 years, every other weekend -- so you are splitting the time with them 50-50, and they don't even really have space to unpack?

Moving things over to one side in that context doesn't really seem egregious.

NP. Are you that poor, or that cheap, that you won’t pay for your own vacation house, or at least a rental? I would never in a million years stay in a cluttered dump like that more than twice a year. Why do you think you are entitled to use someone else’s vacation home, and then criticize it and get rid of their stuff without asking? You are so beyond rude and entitled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you okay with them decluttering your home during a visit based on what they consider unnecessary or an unwanted nic nack?

Personally if anyone came into my home and went through it uninvited and threw out my belongings because to them they were too tacky or too old or unnecessary, they wouldn't be visiting again.

I doubt most of these posters telling you to go for it would be okay with their inlaws going through their houses and getting rid of stuff.

That depends. Is there a group of people who have been staying there, invited, for the last 20 years, every other weekend -- so you are splitting the time with them 50-50, and they don't even really have space to unpack?

Moving things over to one side in that context doesn't really seem egregious.

NP. Are you that poor, or that cheap, that you won’t pay for your own vacation house, or at least a rental? I would never in a million years stay in a cluttered dump like that more than twice a year. Why do you think you are entitled to use someone else’s vacation home, and then criticize it and get rid of their stuff without asking? You are so beyond rude and entitled.

You ... think I'm OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you okay with them decluttering your home during a visit based on what they consider unnecessary or an unwanted nic nack?

Personally if anyone came into my home and went through it uninvited and threw out my belongings because to them they were too tacky or too old or unnecessary, they wouldn't be visiting again.

I doubt most of these posters telling you to go for it would be okay with their inlaws going through their houses and getting rid of stuff.

That depends. Is there a group of people who have been staying there, invited, for the last 20 years, every other weekend -- so you are splitting the time with them 50-50, and they don't even really have space to unpack?

Moving things over to one side in that context doesn't really seem egregious.

NP. Are you that poor, or that cheap, that you won’t pay for your own vacation house, or at least a rental? I would never in a million years stay in a cluttered dump like that more than twice a year. Why do you think you are entitled to use someone else’s vacation home, and then criticize it and get rid of their stuff without asking? You are so beyond rude and entitled.

You ... think I'm OP?

You…think it’s OK to do this under any circumstance? To accept an invitation to a vacation home and get rid of your hosts’ things without their permission? Yes or no. Yes or no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you okay with them decluttering your home during a visit based on what they consider unnecessary or an unwanted nic nack?

Personally if anyone came into my home and went through it uninvited and threw out my belongings because to them they were too tacky or too old or unnecessary, they wouldn't be visiting again.

I doubt most of these posters telling you to go for it would be okay with their inlaws going through their houses and getting rid of stuff.

That depends. Is there a group of people who have been staying there, invited, for the last 20 years, every other weekend -- so you are splitting the time with them 50-50, and they don't even really have space to unpack?

Moving things over to one side in that context doesn't really seem egregious.

NP. Are you that poor, or that cheap, that you won’t pay for your own vacation house, or at least a rental? I would never in a million years stay in a cluttered dump like that more than twice a year. Why do you think you are entitled to use someone else’s vacation home, and then criticize it and get rid of their stuff without asking? You are so beyond rude and entitled.

You ... think I'm OP?

You…think it’s OK to do this under any circumstance? To accept an invitation to a vacation home and get rid of your hosts’ things without their permission? Yes or no. Yes or no.

Ah. I can see this is all very exciting to you, and you are pretty riled up. My apologies for sparking you off this early on a Sunday.

No, I don't go to other people's vacation homes. Never have. I also don't "get rid of your hosts' things," and that is not what I wrote -- reread it. Click on the little button above to expand. "Moving things over to one side" is what I wrote as a recommendation. You took that and rocketed off on some bizarre rant.

Hey, cool down. Stay safe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We decluttered my inlaws home - they were holding onto so many old toys thinking that DH wanted them, that our kids would play with them. But they're broken, rusty, etc., so we came over one day, boxed them all up, said thank you, drove off with them, and threw them out. Then we hired a cleaning service as a "thank you" gift.

Brilliant!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents home, now occupied by my adult siblings, is like this. I wouldn't stay there if I had other options because there are droppings and dustmites. It is inevitable when thing are not cleaned regularly. I clean the bathroom, the kitchen areas that we prepare food on, and ziplock everything that I don't want vermin to crawl on. I live out of my zippable suitcases and cosmetic bags. I would not bring my Dh and children to stay there.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We decluttered my inlaws home - they were holding onto so many old toys thinking that DH wanted them, that our kids would play with them. But they're broken, rusty, etc., so we came over one day, boxed them all up, said thank you, drove off with them, and threw them out. Then we hired a cleaning service as a "thank you" gift.

Brilliant!

Yup - take home all the treasures to “sort through when we get home.” Then complement them on all the gained space they can enjoy.