Help me get over myself (lawyer)

[Anonymous]

In addition to the other excellent suggestions on this thread, try giving this podcast a listen: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/bf3905e4-b0b8-44ce-9f91-900deb92e2c2/episodes/08e601ef-2dae-4751-9b8d-7730542289be/ten-percent-happier-with-dan-harris-three-strategies-for-getting-over-yourself-joseph-goldstein

[Anonymous]

I am a GC and you still aren’t necessarily “in control” in a business environment. My Board and CEO still sometimes makes decisions I disagree with. Such is life.

If you want to move up, develop your business skills. You need to be good at understanding how your role impacts the business itself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In addition to the other excellent suggestions on this thread, try giving this podcast a listen: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/bf3905e4-b0b8-44ce-9f91-900deb92e2c2/episodes/08e601ef-2dae-4751-9b8d-7730542289be/ten-percent-happier-with-dan-harris-three-strategies-for-getting-over-yourself-joseph-goldstein

OP here. Haha - amazing there’s an episode precisely about “getting over yourself”! I’ll give that a listen for sure.

[Anonymous]

Not a lawyer, but I took the high profile leadership role and am now trying to figure out how to take a step back so I can enjoy my life and family again. If you have a good salary and rewarding job, striving for more may win you a prize you don’t necessarily want. I’d wait it out at least s little while.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a fairly senior in-house counsel at a mid-sized company. Been here a couple years after close to a decade in big law - was counsel, never had partnership in me. I struggle with feeling like I should have more influence at work and feeling like this is kind of a dead end for my career. My boss is great but is not going anywhere soon so I will be playing second fiddle for a long time. Sometimes I don’t care because the work/life balance is great and I have young kids. Other times it grates my ego that I’m not in charge and I’m not even developing the skills to be in charge because of the way this company runs. Anyone have words of wisdom? Not everyone can be the big cheese, right, and I should get over it?

You need to move on to something bigger and realize your potential. Can you start your own firm? Go be GC elsewhere? Something else?

[Anonymous]

try reading some of this - https://drgurner.substack.com/

[Anonymous]

Lawyer is always going to be a service provider position. Not a shot caller, an advisor. If you want something else, you need to develop technical, management and leadership skills and move to a diff role.

[Anonymous]

Man, I could have written OPs post. Exact situation. I Have an incredible in house job with a sky high quality of life, good mission etc and plenty of money and yet I still feel crappy for not having the top job, even though if I had it I know myself and I would immediately long for the lost quality of life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should lean in. Listen to outside counsel's plan on something then tell your boss you want to do that yourself. Insert yourself into other division meetings, tell them what they are doing is wrong, and then offer to help them get it right

The whole “lean in” concept is moronic and the book trying to justify the concept was equally moronic.

Just be an adult.

[Anonymous]

More time in the office. Push yourself for the most prestigious firm and position possible.
Neglect your family, career comes first.
In 10 years you will be incredibly wealthy and connected. Your children will be lost to drugs, and your wife on Xanax.
But you will be the world's greatest lawyer!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man, I could have written OPs post. Exact situation. I Have an incredible in house job with a sky high quality of life, good mission etc and plenty of money and yet I still feel crappy for not having the top job, even though if I had it I know myself and I would immediately long for the lost quality of life.

This is common across many professions. The common advice to "fix" the situation is to take stock of what you have, what you would need to sacrifice, and then ask yourself if having the top job is truly what you want. This is a trick question - if it were, you would know the answer already. Where you are is where you want to be.

[Anonymous]

Do you actually want to be a GC, or do you just feel like you should be in a GC role because of how long you have been practicing. As the top brass myself, I spend a lot of time mentoring and shaping future Deputy GC’s and GC’s, but you have to really want it. It’s often a thankless job, although the compensation is a nice perk. But don’t sign up for that kind of role if you aren’t really passionate about leading or co-leading a team. No longer will you only be focused on doing great work. You have to supervise others work, soothe the CEO and other C-Suite members egos and be a guardian/protector. I suggest you really consider if those are things you want to do with your career at this time. If not, get close to your GC and allow yourself to be mentored. That role is very political, not merely legal or academically structured.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Strong disagree. Do not lean in. Someone motivated enough to lean in will just lean in, and they would have been leaning in all their life (and would not ask randos on this board for career advice). It’s innate. People don’t change, so if you didn’t have it in you to go for partnership (at your old firm or by hopping to another firm), you don’t have it now to be GC.

And that’s not a bad thing. Know yourself, be comfortable with it, and live your live. The grass is not greener.

OP here. This might be true… but the current GC fizzled out in big law and was nowhere near partnership either so maybe in-house is a different animal.

I am an Assoc GC. Been in my position for 10 years. My GC works all the time. Like a partner at a firm. Gets paid three times my salary, but I work 38-40 hours a week. No nights or weekends. I do not want his job until my kids are in college. The grass is not greener. Head of legal/GC/CLO is usually a big job and the BOD/CEO expects you to be on call.

[Anonymous]

I accepted my job as a way to pay the bills, once I had kids.

They became my priority.

[Anonymous]

If OP was cut out for the bigger role, she would have made it happen. You have to have drive and ambition, and most everything else falls by the wayside, including family.

It is rare that someone can be a top dog of anything AND have work/life balance.

As someone else said, take the win and enjoy what you HAVE accomplished.