Help me get over myself (lawyer)

[Anonymous]

Honestly you're a complete failure if you're not an equity partner married to a resentful wife that's cheating on you, who you are also cheating on.

[Anonymous]

OP, this post really resonates with me but I am an attorney. I appreciate your candor. No advice, just reading along and hoping to learn something.

[Anonymous]

I think you either have the hustle and desire to get there or you don't. If you don't, IT'S A-OK! Not everyone has it or wants it. I would stop comparing to others and focus on what makes you happy.

I'm a law firm partner but hustled for years to get here. I wanted it and made it happen. I am happy I made it but also was happy before because I was doing the things I wanted to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly you're a complete failure if you're not an equity partner married to a resentful wife that's cheating on you, who you are also cheating on.

And add a drinking problem onto this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly you're a complete failure if you're not an equity partner married to a resentful wife that's cheating on you, who you are also cheating on.

And add a drinking problem onto this.

And a teenage boy who hates you, a teenage girl who has daddy issues.

[Anonymous]

I feel you, OP.

I am a lawyer, but not an attorney, and I have a lot of ambition plus I get bored easily - I like a really active, challenging, multi-topic job. Because of this, I have been in your position several times. As soon as I get comfortable somewhere with good work-life balance, I want something new.

I am in the process of giving up amazing work life balance to try something new (against the strong advice of this board).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lawyer is always going to be a service provider position. Not a shot caller, an advisor. If you want something else, you need to develop technical, management and leadership skills and move to a diff role.

Right. This is the role of the GC. You advise and recommend; they don’t have to listen to you if they don’t want to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel you, OP.

I am a lawyer, but not an attorney, and I have a lot of ambition plus I get bored easily - I like a really active, challenging, multi-topic job. Because of this, I have been in your position several times. As soon as I get comfortable somewhere with good work-life balance, I want something new.

I am in the process of giving up amazing work life balance to try something new (against the strong advice of this board).

Huh, what? Those are the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel you, OP.

I am a lawyer, but not an attorney, and I have a lot of ambition plus I get bored easily - I like a really active, challenging, multi-topic job. Because of this, I have been in your position several times. As soon as I get comfortable somewhere with good work-life balance, I want something new.

I am in the process of giving up amazing work life balance to try something new (against the strong advice of this board).

Huh, what? Those are the same thing.

Meaning someone who went to law school, but works in a law-adjacent profession and doesn’t (necessarily) maintain a bar membership.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am in same boat OP. Well paid non GC. Went to very fancy schools. Always great performance reviews but not yet in right spot to get tapped.

It helps to write a grateful list. I get paid staggeringly more than the average Homo sapiens for reading complex documents and talking on the phone with work friends. I have plenty of money and time with my happy healthy kids. It’s objectively better than 99% of the world including some richer people with crazy hours. At some point you just need to relax and take the win.

I don’t mean to be nosy but what do you consider a good salary? I constantly feel like I am underpaid and too junior for what I know and do, but it’s hard to know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If OP was cut out for the bigger role, she would have made it happen. You have to have drive and ambition, and most everything else falls by the wayside, including family.

It is rare that someone can be a top dog of anything AND have work/life balance.

As someone else said, take the win and enjoy what you HAVE accomplished.

She can make it happen now, can’t she?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you actually want to be a GC, or do you just feel like you should be in a GC role because of how long you have been practicing. As the top brass myself, I spend a lot of time mentoring and shaping future Deputy GC’s and GC’s, but you have to really want it. It’s often a thankless job, although the compensation is a nice perk. But don’t sign up for that kind of role if you aren’t really passionate about leading or co-leading a team. No longer will you only be focused on doing great work. You have to supervise others work, soothe the CEO and other C-Suite members egos and be a guardian/protector. I suggest you really consider if those are things you want to do with your career at this time. If not, get close to your GC and allow yourself to be mentored. That role is very political, not merely legal or academically structured.

Thank you for sharing your perspective in a humorous fashion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know multiple failed associates who made GC. Completely different ballgame IMO.

100% accurate.

A GC is a different animal than a rainmaker such as a law firm partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a fairly senior in-house counsel at a mid-sized company. Been here a couple years after close to a decade in big law - was counsel, never had partnership in me. I struggle with feeling like I should have more influence at work and feeling like this is kind of a dead end for my career. My boss is great but is not going anywhere soon so I will be playing second fiddle for a long time. Sometimes I don’t care because the work/life balance is great and I have young kids. Other times it grates my ego that I’m not in charge and I’m not even developing the skills to be in charge because of the way this company runs. Anyone have words of wisdom? Not everyone can be the big cheese, right, and I should get over it?

My guess is that you are about 40 years old and dealing with at least one self-esteem issue.

Have you considered taking a position as a director of a charity or working as a mentor for struggling business persons ?

Another option would be to enroll in an EMBA programs (Executive MBA Program) to build business & management skills alongside other experienced professionals (minimum of 10 years post-undergraduate work experience with at least 5 years of management experience). EMBA programs are all cohort based and part-time. This should expand your business knowledge while building self-esteem and help you to recognize your self-worth in the context of the greater business community.

Most importantly, however, I encourage you to be thankful for what you have, what you have accomplished, and for the problems that you do not have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a fairly senior in-house counsel at a mid-sized company. Been here a couple years after close to a decade in big law - was counsel, never had partnership in me. I struggle with feeling like I should have more influence at work and feeling like this is kind of a dead end for my career. My boss is great but is not going anywhere soon so I will be playing second fiddle for a long time. Sometimes I don’t care because the work/life balance is great and I have young kids. Other times it grates my ego that I’m not in charge and I’m not even developing the skills to be in charge because of the way this company runs. Anyone have words of wisdom? Not everyone can be the big cheese, right, and I should get over it?

My guess is that you are about 40 years old and dealing with at least one self-esteem issue.

Have you considered taking a position as a director of a charity or working as a mentor for struggling business persons ?

Another option would be to enroll in an EMBA programs (Executive MBA Program) to build business & management skills alongside other experienced professionals (minimum of 10 years post-undergraduate work experience with at least 5 years of management experience). EMBA programs are all cohort based and part-time. This should expand your business knowledge while building self-esteem and help you to recognize your self-worth in the context of the greater business community.

Most importantly, however, I encourage you to be thankful for what you have, what you have accomplished, and for the problems that you do not have.

No sh*t, Sherlock! That was the point of the OP.