Help me get over myself (lawyer)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can develop skills outside of your job. Bar association volunteer roles, board member of small nonprofit, leadership training programs, thought leadership, etc. No reason you can’t put some effort into this while still maintaining a good work life balance.

OP here - this is good advice. Thanks everyone for the food for thought.

[Anonymous]

You have a high degree of arrogance and I'm glad I don't work with you. Get over yourself.

[Anonymous]

Collect your paycheck, take care of your family and forget about everything else.

[Anonymous]

I feel you OP. Someone said something here that really hit home with me: stop expecting your job to satisfy all of your professional ambitions.

Try that.

[Anonymous]

I disagree with the posters who say stay and collect the paycheck. If you have a goal to be GC, go get it. At the very least scratch the itch and start a search to see where it takes you.

[Anonymous]

Almost everybody has to answer to someone.

Clint Eastwood as Harry Callahan in “Magnum Force”: “A man’s got to know his limitations.”

[Anonymous]

What’s important to you? For me, work/life balance trumps title by a huge margin. I’d like interesting work but can find that through bar associations if not available in the day job.

[Anonymous]

I went to a top five law school and then decided working my behind off to move money from one big company to another just wasn't my jam. I moved to the government after 2 years in private practice.

I'm now at a federal agency with a mission I'm committed to, and while I may never be the big cheese, I wake up everyday feeling good, that I'm super lucky to spend my 40ish hours a week (and sometimes much more) making the world a better place. So the fact that I'm doing good more than makes up for the fact that I'm not making top dollar or in the spotlight. I'm making a difference in my small way and setting a good example for my young kids.

Within my agency at least, to move up I'd have to take on a large management role, which would move me away from my "do gooder" role. I get tempted because there's that drive to make more, to be on top (a friend just suggested that I apply for a senior role so I've been thinking about it again). But then I ask myself why, when everything is already so good and I'm fortunate that the pay difference wouldn't change my life in any meaningful way.

So, OP, you may want to move from your current role. But please consider ways that you'd feel content. If you have goals that you'd be disappointed not to meet, go after them. Figure out what's important - is it the substance of the work, the paycheck, the glory?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to a top five law school and then decided working my behind off to move money from one big company to another just wasn't my jam. I moved to the government after 2 years in private practice.

I'm now at a federal agency with a mission I'm committed to, and while I may never be the big cheese, I wake up everyday feeling good, that I'm super lucky to spend my 40ish hours a week (and sometimes much more) making the world a better place. So the fact that I'm doing good more than makes up for the fact that I'm not making top dollar or in the spotlight. I'm making a difference in my small way and setting a good example for my young kids.

Within my agency at least, to move up I'd have to take on a large management role, which would move me away from my "do gooder" role. I get tempted because there's that drive to make more, to be on top (a friend just suggested that I apply for a senior role so I've been thinking about it again). But then I ask myself why, when everything is already so good and I'm fortunate that the pay difference wouldn't change my life in any meaningful way.

So, OP, you may want to move from your current role. But please consider ways that you'd feel content. If you have goals that you'd be disappointed not to meet, go after them. Figure out what's important - is it the substance of the work, the paycheck, the glory?

Not OP but the third paragraph resonated with me. Being a fed manager just seems like such a sh*t job managing people and producing as well.

[Anonymous]

NP. I really appreciate this post and all the thoughtful replies. I struggle with this All. The. Time. I think it’s partly the Type A personality drawn to law, and that for many of us we have been traditionally “successful” for so long that it is hard to accept that we are hitting the top of our careers.

Almost daily I struggle between appreciating my job (and its flexibility) and having a great set of coworkers vs. wanting to just continue to move up even though it will be more work and more politics. To what end?

I don’t have the answers but know that you’re not alone!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. I really appreciate this post and all the thoughtful replies. I struggle with this All. The. Time. I think it’s partly the Type A personality drawn to law, and that for many of us we have been traditionally “successful” for so long that it is hard to accept that we are hitting the top of our careers.

Almost daily I struggle between appreciating my job (and its flexibility) and having a great set of coworkers vs. wanting to just continue to move up even though it will be more work and more politics. To what end?

I don’t have the answers but know that you’re not alone!

+1 - Feel this way too.

Similar situation to the OP. I report to the GC of my BIGCORP with a VP title and all that. But I see some of my former in-house colleagues jumping into GC roles for start ups that are in their D, E, or even F rounds of funding. A few of them have made it very big (stock grants now worth $10-$20M+), while others are just biding their time for their nascent tech industries to catch fire (but still making decent money and gaining time in the GC chair).

To get these types of roles, it's about who you know (board members, PE firms, BIGLAW partners who went in-house but are nearing retirement age, etc...). They are NEVER advertised.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to a top five law school and then decided working my behind off to move money from one big company to another just wasn't my jam. I moved to the government after 2 years in private practice.

I'm now at a federal agency with a mission I'm committed to, and while I may never be the big cheese, I wake up everyday feeling good, that I'm super lucky to spend my 40ish hours a week (and sometimes much more) making the world a better place. So the fact that I'm doing good more than makes up for the fact that I'm not making top dollar or in the spotlight. I'm making a difference in my small way and setting a good example for my young kids.

Within my agency at least, to move up I'd have to take on a large management role, which would move me away from my "do gooder" role. I get tempted because there's that drive to make more, to be on top (a friend just suggested that I apply for a senior role so I've been thinking about it again). But then I ask myself why, when everything is already so good and I'm fortunate that the pay difference wouldn't change my life in any meaningful way.

So, OP, you may want to move from your current role. But please consider ways that you'd feel content. If you have goals that you'd be disappointed not to meet, go after them. Figure out what's important - is it the substance of the work, the paycheck, the glory?

Not OP but the third paragraph resonated with me. Being a fed manager just seems like such a sh*t job managing people and producing as well.

Yeah, I think the pay difference would have to be significant. Also, what makes people think that lawyers are good at managing people, even other lawyers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to a top five law school and then decided working my behind off to move money from one big company to another just wasn't my jam. I moved to the government after 2 years in private practice.

I'm now at a federal agency with a mission I'm committed to, and while I may never be the big cheese, I wake up everyday feeling good, that I'm super lucky to spend my 40ish hours a week (and sometimes much more) making the world a better place. So the fact that I'm doing good more than makes up for the fact that I'm not making top dollar or in the spotlight. I'm making a difference in my small way and setting a good example for my young kids.

Within my agency at least, to move up I'd have to take on a large management role, which would move me away from my "do gooder" role. I get tempted because there's that drive to make more, to be on top (a friend just suggested that I apply for a senior role so I've been thinking about it again). But then I ask myself why, when everything is already so good and I'm fortunate that the pay difference wouldn't change my life in any meaningful way.

So, OP, you may want to move from your current role. But please consider ways that you'd feel content. If you have goals that you'd be disappointed not to meet, go after them. Figure out what's important - is it the substance of the work, the paycheck, the glory?

Not OP but the third paragraph resonated with me. Being a fed manager just seems like such a sh*t job managing people and producing as well.

Not all lawyers are the same personality. Many lawyers would have made good businesspeople (and often do when they decide to go "business side" after seeing how much money can be made, or simply wanting to "run the show").
Yeah, I think the pay difference would have to be significant. Also, what makes people think that lawyers are good at managing people, even other lawyers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a fairly senior in-house counsel at a mid-sized company. Been here a couple years after close to a decade in big law - was counsel, never had partnership in me. I struggle with feeling like I should have more influence at work and feeling like this is kind of a dead end for my career. My boss is great but is not going anywhere soon so I will be playing second fiddle for a long time. Sometimes I don’t care because the work/life balance is great and I have young kids. Other times it grates my ego that I’m not in charge and I’m not even developing the skills to be in charge because of the way this company runs. Anyone have words of wisdom? Not everyone can be the big cheese, right, and I should get over it?

Try to get recognition and be a trusted voice with posts outside of work. Join an industry association or the such and get in a committee.
Enjoy balance and the kids! Remember- there is no free lunch anywhere. You are doing well!

[Anonymous]

I am in same boat OP. Well paid non GC. Went to very fancy schools. Always great performance reviews but not yet in right spot to get tapped.

It helps to write a grateful list. I get paid staggeringly more than the average Homo sapiens for reading complex documents and talking on the phone with work friends. I have plenty of money and time with my happy healthy kids. It’s objectively better than 99% of the world including some richer people with crazy hours. At some point you just need to relax and take the win.