“Contradicting” husband in public

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you should both stop drinking.

OP. I barely drink at all.

Are you monitoring his alcohol consumption?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lol @ barmaid. Who says that? Is it 1850?

Give OP credit. At least she didn't say 'serving wench'.

[Anonymous]

You lost me at “barmaid.” 🤔

[Anonymous]

I would say you should probably be evaluated for anxiety, OP. My anxious elderly mom interrupts everything I do to question it like this? If I'm leading her somewhere, she'll stop and block "traffic" to ask if we're going in the right direction. If I order something in a restaurant, she'll question whether I'm sure I want the side that comes with it. Etc. It's entirely fueled by her own anxiety, and it is exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Your husband sounds like a mediocre, privileged white man. And let me guess, he's overweight and his mama's favorite. So gross.

[Anonymous]

Adding to the chorus confused by the use of the word "barmaid" ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your husband sounds like a mediocre, privileged white man. And let me guess, he's overweight and his mama's favorite. So gross.

Describing your own husband are you?

[Anonymous]

Your husband should not be reacting like this, however you sound incredibly annoying. If the bartender was busy, she would have told your husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Alcohol access is the common thread here. He has some tension about it.

+1

This, OP, this. You mention these two examples and of course the hilarious comics here on DCUM decide to focus on "barmaid" rather than on the actual interactions. Surely there are other examples. If so, ask yourself: How many of these "humiliations" he claims he's enduring are related to alcohol in some way? Sounds like maybe he feels you draw attention to his purchases of alcohol in ways he thinks belittle him. The fact any grown man might feel like that is pretty telling: He wants to buy his drinks and not have it mentioned or highlighted. Might need to think about how much of this is not about micromanagement or humiliation but about his not wanting you to note how much or when he drinks.

[Anonymous]

OP, do you find him embarrassing? Are you trying to control the interactions so he doesn’t say or do something that embarrasses you?

Whatever you feel, I think he is sensing that you secretly feel something about him you’re not admitting to, or not even aware of feeling, which causes your behavior and he doesn’t like either one.

Or you are just bossy. You can stop being that way if you want to, and you may want to so that he feels better.

Or he may just be weird about alcohol but I bet this happens in other encounters.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, he's fed up with your shenanigans.

[Anonymous]

My DH controls me like this, and it drives me crazy. It’s as if I am completely dumb, and it’s his job to get me straight. He loudly corrected me once at a restaurant when I mispronounced the name of a dish, and the waitress started asking him about the rest of my order. Just let your DH be. It IS humiliating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband sounds like a mediocre, privileged white man. And let me guess, he's overweight and his mama's favorite. So gross.

Describing your own husband are you?

Not cool to make a snide remark about someone who isn't even here who you don't know at all.

[Anonymous]

We don't know if it's really all about alcohol, but OP should review more examples of this issue from her life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anybody else have a husband who reacts very aggressively if you “contradict” him in public? Mine is throwing in my face two instances where I spoke while he was interacting with a service person. 1) barmaid was bringing him a drink; I mentioned she seemed to be in the middle of pulling drinks for others at that moment and she said nope she was okay getting his; this was “humiliating.” 2) leaving a performance he mentioned to the bartender he had to pay a bill from something he ordered at intermission. I was confused bc I hadn’t known he ordered anything so I asked what was going on & why he was stopping. This too was a “humiliation.” I was yelled at for it last night and now it’s the first thing he wanted to talk about this morning.

There appears to be possible contempt on both sides here. Marriage counselors typically say that -contempt- means a marriage is unfixable.